Auntie Amanda's Advice

This Day

2011-09-11T09:31:00.003-04:00

I don't like to talk about 9/11. I keep most things that are important to me very close. I talk a good game, but what I share about myself with other people is more often than not very shallow and not substantial.

I have been trying to ignore this day, to just complain about all the traffic and the people and the raised security. I wanted to pretend that this was just another day. I have found that I cannot. This will never be just another day to me. I may never lose the sadness and the anger, the very intense anger, over this day. And I really hate that.

And that's pretty much all I have to say on this to most people. I sometimes wish I could say more, but I just don't know how.

Blood

2009-01-22T11:47:00.002-05:00

They're doing a blood drive in my building today and I hadn't given in a while so I thought I'd go. So, I did.

I love giving blood. Really. I HATE needles and the finger pricking for the iron test is almost as upsetting to me as the needle stick to drain my blood. But otherwise, I love it. I love the people who work and volunteer at blood banks. I like filling out my form. I like feeling good about doing something so easy that can help so much. Totally gives me a smug do gooder feel (I advise any of my friends in NY to avoid me for the day while I bask in my smug awesomeness, it's really quite insufferable). Though one of my friends enjoys my blood donating days as I get drunk way quicker and he's a bad, bad man.

I started back in high school. Hawai'i does the blood bank thing well. They have (had?) a focus of getting you in young. Lots of high school blood drives and things. I remember even a huge blood donating festival or two with local comedians and musicians and all performing and such, trying to get the young interested and involved. I still have some Hawai'i Blood Bank t-shirts in a box in my basement somewhere (you know, the box of clothes I'll fit back into one day. Ha!). Also, I made a friend at Punahou back then who was in remission. She was a big volunteer at the blood drives. And a good face for the people you don't meet who you help with your blood. Everytime I give I think of her. And others. As you get older the list of people you know who need blood or platelets or plasma grows.

Anyway, once I started I kept giving. And my high school friends are big dorky donors as well. Lots of fun stories of blood letting with them. Tangerine and I once were at the Hawai'i blood bank when some guy came in trying to sell his blood. But this was a volunteer center. And the woman at the front desk mustered more smugness than even I can do on blood donating days to say, "People here VOLUNTEER their blood." I'm a little more sympathetic as an adult to the plight of people who need money however they can get it, but at the time I was very proud to be giving my blood in exchange for nothing more than cookies. And my insufferable smugness. Sorry.

Pumpkin and I can get a little annoying (or amusing?) at blood banks. We both fill our blood bags pretty quickly and a couple times when we've given together we've tried to get the folks at the blood bank to do us at the same time so we could race. Some were amused, some annoyed. No one really would humor us though. But, I always think of her when I give and someone comments on how fast it's going. Sometimes they stick me, set me up and walk away saying they'll be back in 10-15. I tell them they'll want to come back earlier and they roll their eyes. Today two of the aids working with me were mocking me and my book saying I hadn't even turned the page yet and had almost filled my blood bag. They said I wasn't going to get much reading done. They were right.

I like the people at blood banks too. Some are paid, some are volunteers, but they've always been nice. And big on saying thank you. I haven't been to the blood bank in the Port Authority in a while, but the juice & cookie volunteers there were awesome. On your first time there they'd take your picture and put it on a bulletin board. And then as you'd come back they'd put colored stars on for each visit. And they are QUITE the juice and cookie pushers there.

I love the juice table too. So cute with the juice boxes and mini packs of cookies and all. Today I had fruit punch and shortbread cookies, because they MAKE you sit at the juice table for a while no matter how you feel. I don't have much of an adverse reaction to giving blood. I might feel a twinge of lightheadness at times, but overall I'm all good. No worries. One time in high school Pumpkin and I donated and then went right back to the theatre to continue building a set. Until the Techincal Director saw our telltale band-aids and made us sit down. We pouted. We felt fine and saw no reason we couldn't haul set pieces and equipment around. We can be a little bratty. But I do know some people react more strongly to blood donation and all and in my old age I try to be a bit better about sitting at the table, drinking my juice and putting everyone at peace.

Anyway, I gave blood today, loved it and have to be better about giving more regularly again. I'm up again March 19th. Gotta find a place to give near work or home. But first, more juice.

RVing to Wally World

2008-11-30T20:40:00.005-05:00

On Thursday we all enjoyed a delightful Thanksgiving dinner with our favorites (Green Bean Casserole & Corn Casserole) and some other tasty stuff. We also kept sneaking away during hte day to pack up the RV. So that come Friday we could leave at 8AM and be on the road by 9:30AM heading to Georgia for a little stop to break up the trip.

It was my first time really going in the RV and it was fun. Though there is QUITE a bit of work involved in packing everything in and down for the long haul. Dad is the only one up to driving such a beast (37 foot RV) so he took the whole 8 hours or so. We did stop at a Flying J in South Caroline for gas and food and I got to browse the store looking at lovely shirts all about hunting and beer and McCain/Palin '08! Woo! Dad enjoyed the buffet and Sweet Tea while Mom had a pork tenderloin. I always love how the pork is about three times the size of the bun they serve it on. I made do with an off menu grilled cheese. Rebel that I am. The Flying J did have a lot of lovely three CD box set tin things for Elvis and Dolly and John Denver, but I decided to save my bucks for Wally World.

We finally got to our RV park (Eagle Hammock on the Sub Base in Kings Bay, GA) around 6PM and got set up. Dad still doesn't allow pooping in the RV so luckily the park had nice facilities. And Free Coffee! Georgia was fun, mostly. The weather was delightful and the RV Park is right on a lake with lots of birds (we got a blue heron photo for you, Vader!) and apparently gators. Though we did roll our eyes when the dining directory listed all the Asian restaurants under "Oriental."

Saturday we ran some errands, hit the commissary and did a bit of sight seeing in St. Mary's Georgia. The weather was lovely and we enjoyed some walking along the water as well as some of the pretty buildings there, including an old and darling Presbyterian Church. And that night we went to a teppanyaki restaurant, which I haven't done in ages. The majority of the staff was Filipino rather than Japanese, but it was fun and tasty. Though more customers seemed to want the chipotle ranch dip over the ginger dip. Both dips were good but it tasted a little off dipping my vegetable tempura into a creamy dip.

We also got to meet some RV folks at the park. Roland from Maine and Jean from Ohio who nicely pointed out one of the Blue Herons when I was out for a walk around the lake. And one friendly lady who made a "Kitty Porn" joke when I was on the camp computer looking at a photo of DKE that Vader sent me. :) I also got some ideas on what to get the folks for Christmas. See, RV people put a TON of crap out when they set up camp. In the GA park there wasn't much but there were some flags and a few lights and someone even had a gnome out front. My parents have nothing. Well, almost nothing. They do own a string of flip flop lights but haven't put them out yet. So, I have to get them some crap, so they can fit in with their fellow RVers.

Anyway, today we got up early, packed everything up and hit the road again. The road was okay for the first two or three hours and then the skies just opened. Dad did a great job, but it wasn't pretty.

At around 2PM we finally arrived at Wally World!!!!! Check in was a hoot with four long lines of RVs waiting to get their campsite assignments. But, we got through, got a nice spot, got set up and then went off to get my 8 day park pass for the parks. Woo! After which Dad and I toured Fort Wilderness looking at the different sites and all the crap they have.

Now, RV folks have lots of stuff. Sometimes it's just crap, sometimes it's themed to go with their favorite sports team or something like that. Disney people also have lots of crap (as my friends and family can attest). And Christmas folks have lots of crap. Knowing all this you still can't imagine the crap all throughout this park. Some sites have thousands of dollars worth of Disney Christmas lights and inflatable character decorations and candy canes. One RV had a TV in one of the bottom compartments, open and playing the Christmas Rudolph movie. Another RV had a speaker out amongst the crap with Christmas Music blasting. So fabulous.

And... after all that we headed off to the Magic Kingdom to start our Disney Adventure.

I'm on Vacation!

2008-11-26T12:15:00.004-05:00

I know it's been a while since I blogged. According to my Mom, "Mandy hasn't updated hers in forever." So, while I"m teaching her about the magical world of RSS feed readers I figure I"ll update as a teaching tool. Good times.

I have been referring to it as vaca, but that's been too confusing for my father. He was pronouncing it more like kaka for one thing and for another kept asking if I was talking about a sweater. Apparently he was thinking vicuna was vacana or something. We're a special family.

Anyway. I am finally on vacation. I hadn't realized how badly I needed one. I haven't had a real vacation all year. Some days here or there, long weekends for weddings or obligations, a couple weekend getaways... but no real vacation. And I was getting cranky and bitter and angry (more so than usual).

And then I left the office at 3:45 yesterday and birds were singing and colors were brighter and it was like I was in a Disney Movie! I was lugging my giant suitcase through the subway system and onto the JFK Airtrain and had a big smile on my face the whole damn time, texting everyone that I'm on VACATION!!!! Woo! (Yes, I'm a girl who woos.)

So, I'm in NC right now, chilling with the family and preparing to eat my weight in starch tomorrow. And working to keep my dad from eating the pecan pie before tomorrow. Corn casserole, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, rolles, pie... so good.

And then, day after tomorrow, we're all loading up the RV and heading to Wally World! I'm so looking forward to it. I've stayed in the RV at Disney before with the folks, but I've never driven there before. I'm kind of excited. Expect lots of photos and video on flickr soon. Of driving. It's a rock star life.

New York Cares

2008-08-08T17:45:00.001-04:00

I like to volunteer. I'm not all noble or anything, there are lots of folks who give so much more than I do. And I think I get just as much out of it as I give to others.

When I was little we'd often do volunteer type things through school or the Officer's Wives Club or something like that. And my ballet schools always took time to perform in nursing homes and hospitals close to Nutcracker or recital times. I liked when we'd get to talk to the patients afterwards. I got to run around in my leotard and dance and chat with people. Seemed like a good time to me.

I volunteered as a candy striper in an ER when I was in high school, but that was as much to learn about medicine and hospitals and see if I wanted to be a doctor. In fact, I think one of my college application essays was about the first time I saw a dead body, which happened while volunteering in the ER. I changed a lot of beds and held a lot of hands and ran a lot of x-rays around, but I got to see a lot of cool stuff too, depending on which doctors were on duty. And I got to meet interesting patients as well. I am my mother's daughter and love chatting with strangers.

My high school required all Seniors do a semester (or actually I think half a semester) of Community Service. Usually it was things like taking animals from the Humane Society to hospitals and nursing homes (I think the most popular one) and such. It was also usually during school hours, during class time. You could request projects and would tell them your interests and all, but projects were ultimately assigned. You'd get a slip saying what your project was and once a cycle you'd meet with a group to talk about it. I think it's a nice idea. Gets students in the habit of giving back and all that. I wanted the Humane Society one, but a friend of mine and I got slips saying that we would be informed of our project details upon our first meeting with our group. So we started calling it the Super Secret Community Service.

It turns out we were going to be sent to an Emergency Children's Shelter. The location of these kinds of places does need to be kept very secret so once we found out it made sense. Also, only a couple of people a semester do this project as it's a weekend one so we hadn't heard of it before. But it was such a great experience. Every Saturday we'd drive out to the house and spend the day hanging out with kids; going to the beach or the mall, hanging around the house and playing, whatever. We were just there to spend time with these kids. And it was amazing. The stuff that had happened to some of these kids would turn your stomach. And while some were very reserved and some were incredibly outgoing they were all so loving and warm. And once they got used to you they'd just shower you with affection. They really seemed to love the attention and having an almost grown-up who was just there to hang out with them and be kind to them and have fun with them. I always had a great time with those kids. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to do it for longer.

In college I volunteered at Head Start my first year, which was again just largely hanging out with kids. Sometimes I'd help with getting stuff ready or tidying up, but mostly it was playing with the kids. I would've done that longer, but then got a workstudy job at the Day Care in the same building. And, once you're paid it doesn't count as volunteering. I loved the volunteering and the job. Hanging out with kids, watching Disney movies, going on field trips; it was all my kind of thing. Though I did get peed on for one of the field trips, on a ride. I still remember one time I was having a crap day and showed up for work in a bad mood. But, a few girls and I sat in the playground watching earthworms and calling ourselves Jessica (except one girl who preferred to keep her own name). And in no time at all I was out of my cranky mood. Giggling with little girls in the sunshine makes it pretty hard to hate the world.

Once I got to New York I didn't do too much at first. But after I got settled into my job at Morgan I checked out their Foundation and volunteer program and started with their lunchtime reading program. It was a pretty simple one. You're assigned a child and then once a week you go and read with them at lunch. Totally easy and fun. Sometimes the kids are ones who could use extra help and sometimes the kids were ones who did really well in school and got a reading buddy as a perk. It was all voluntary for the kids. And it wasn't so much about tutoring them or teaching them to read. It was about them having an adult who was focused on them and only them for an hour a week. And to show them that reading was fun. My first two years I was assigned a holy terror whom I adored. He liked trying to shock me by telling me he drank beer and was going to get a motorcycle and tattoos. He was six. I told him he might want to wait a few years before making that kind of commitment to beer and bikes and skin art. He said he might wait until 18, but did offer to have one of his tattoos include my name. He also frequently tried to look up my skirt and asked me for my number so he could call me over our the summer after our first year. I said that wasn't appropriate and he should call girls closer to his own age. He thought that made sense. He wasn't a huge fan of reading but we found lots of shark and dinosaur books. And he seemed more into it when it was more interactive so we'd grab the globe and look up locations of fossils and such whenever they were mentioned in the books. I'd also bring in puzzles for him. While reading with him for two years I really got to see him learn and improve at reading and at the puzzles. But then his family moved. And I got a sweet, smart girl. Who LOVED math. Which made me so happy. We'd read for a bit, she liked mysteries a lot, and then I'd sit around making up math problems with her. I explained a bit of pre-algebra to her and she really liked figuring out x. She had a friend whose reading buddy didn't always show up so I often got two of them reading and doing math and solving crime. Not a bad two years. But then she was older and wanted to spend all of her lunches with friends instead of me. So I got my last little girl. Who was a blast. I called her Troublemaker. She liked messing with my cell phone and talking about movies and drinking chocolate milk. One night the school had a talent show and she and her friends did a dance. I want to see it after work. It was kind of spectacular. I hadn't been to a grade school talent show in a while. The Spring of our second year I was laid off. I finished up the year, but since I was no longer with the program I couldn't go another year.

Also through Morgan I'd sign up for the Holiday Gift program every year. You get a child's letter to Santa or whomever and then you go shopping. Pumpkin and I have had a blast in previous years buying things for little girls. We don't have too many kids in our lives so it's fun to shop for the small girlie stuff. And they'd always tell us this could very well be the only gift the child would receive that Holiday season so I'd go a little overboard. But, that was also through Morgan.

So, now that I'm settled in my job and have no volunteer options through work I've finally signed up for New York Cares. And I'm a total dork about it. Vader has been doing it for years and is humoring me. I did my orientation last week, but most of the projects have already been filled for the month. I guess the calendar comes out around the 21s or 22nd and people sign up for projects quickly. It's a nice system. They have lots of one-shot projects so you don't have to commit long-term if you don't want. And you can try all kinds of things. And if you have a free evening or Saturday you can see if any projects are open and sign up. Vader said that things don't fill up quite so fast after the summer is over, so that will be nice. I'm excited to try some of the kid or animal ones, and playing cards or casino nights in homes for the elderly, and maybe one of the zoo or aquarium visits. But tomorrow Vader and I are going to sort clothes for a thrift shop whose profits go to help the Homeless with AIDS/HIV. It's not too glamorous which is probably why it was one of the few things still left for tomorrow. But I'm still kind of excited. And later this month I'm signed up to play Wii at a health center in my neighborhood and a coffeehouse at a center for the blind and those with low vision. And New York Cares does the Winter Wishes gift program as well so I can get back into that again. I'm looking forward to all of that. Though, is there someone out there who can teach me to Wii?

More Movies

2008-08-08T10:35:00.002-04:00

So, for WarGames I got to be the one to sit next to the crazies. Actually, they weren't crazy, but they were very angry.

We got to the theater and there was a HUGE line at the door to our particular theater. Which we thought a little odd, but not too odd. WarGames is a fantastic movie after all. The food line was bad too so I went to get food while Vader waited in the theater line. Everyone in my food line was on their phone so I called Vader just so I wouldn't feel left out. I told her this and the guy in front of me thought I was pretty funny. Not that he got off the phone to chat with me or anything. So, that doesn't work as a pick up line.

Anyway, we realized I had both tickets with me so we decided Vader would call me when they started seating us, if it looked like they were checking tickets. A little while later she came up to me and said that the line that seemed to start right at the door of our theater was NOT for WarGames. We never found out for sure what it was for, but we suspect The Dark Knight in the theater next to ours. Even though it was a Tuesday and almost two weeks after that movie opened. Right then I got our food so we booked it to the theater. The BEST seats were gone, but there were decent ones down front. A nice man let us climb over him though he was worried I was going to dump soda and popcorn on him. I did not, but I did drop a dollar bill on his lap. He said that was perfectly fine. And then he nicely gave us the dollar back. I wandered off to get butter for our popcorn (yes, I know that's not helping me lose weight) and Vader let him read the Wired article on WarGames as a thank you for tolerating all of our climbing.

I came back and we got all settled and were hanging out waiting for the movie to start. About five minutes prior a man and woman came and sat next to me. They had to climb over us and our nice man to get to the seats and the woman was very annoyed at this. But really, you come to a movie five minutes before the start and the odds aren't good you'll get a choice aisle seat. Whatever. They sat down and they seemed to know the people in front of them and possibly the people behind them. A little chatty group.

Now, I would like you to know that the ad that first brought this viewing to our attention advertised this as a WarGames 25th Anniversary event with never before seen interviews and clips from the sequel (straight to video, do not want to see). When I searched for the event online that was clearly started as well. The same when I purchased tickets. And when we were waiting for the movie to start, every minute or so the screen would flash the event ad/sign along with the mention of never before seen interviews and clips from the sequel.

So, the lights dim and the previews start. Then the lights go out and the featurette starts with interviews and clips. And the woman in my row is LIVID. She is very, very angry they're showing this featurette that they advertised all over the place. At one point early on she shrieks, "Just show the movie!!!" Now, I am enjoying the featurette. Fun stuff in it and all. Everyone else seems to be chuckling and having a good time as well. Except the chatty crew to my left. The woman in front of us yells, "They're ruining it!!" Now, they did have clips from the movie in there, but I've seen trailers that revealed more of a movie. Also, they did show Joshua's last screen, but not for long and if you haven't actually seen the movie I can't imagine the screen making enough sense to give anything away. But this group was freaking out. Finally midway through they calmed down and just decided to ignore what was going on onscreen, just chatting and typing on their blackberries. Bah.

So, the movie started and all was well. I've never seen it on the big screen before so Vader and I were having a blast. But, right when they're trying to get off the island the movie stopped. Annoying, but hardly the end of the world. I thought the woman in our row was going to have a heart attack she was so upset. Lots of people got up, to tell a manager, get some snacks, hit the head, whatever. Vader and I stayed seated because 207 people do not need to get up and tell the manager the movie is out. We figured it would get worked out or we'd be told otherwise. The woman next to me kept turning around and looking at the projection booth and spitting out, "No one is BACK there!" and huffing. Of course she made NO effort to get up or have one of her group get up to talk to anyone. She just huffed.

Within a couple of minutes a manager came out and told us all that the satellite went out and the event folks were working on it. The theater wasn't showing the movie it was a nationwide event so this was going on all over the country, not just with us. But it would be up shortly. Some folks yelled out we should get free food or something but everyone laughed (except the woman in my row) and within a couple more minutes the movie was going again. And it was awesome.

I had a great time and loved seeing the movie on the big screen. I know technology has come so far since then, but I still think it's a kickass flick. I just feel bad the angry woman couldn't enjoy it. Luckily she didn't ruin it for us and now Vader and I have added, "They're RUINING the movie." to our collection of things to say when waiting for a movie to start.

We used it last weekend when I finally got to see The Dark Knight IMAX. I hadn't seen the movie yet because I wanted to see it on the IMAX screen first. And I'm so glad I waited. Don't know what it was like on a regular screen but seeing it on the giant glory that is the IMAX was lovely. Though it took some effort. Tickets in New York were selling out like mad. Vader and I tried to get tickets earlier, but within a day of being available everything but the 4:30AM shows were selling out. And some of the 9:30AM weekday ones. But, finally, on a Tuesday, I got tickets for a Sunday show, which was sold out by Wednesday.

Bon Jovi joined us and we thought about getting there at noon for a 1:15 movie. We weren't sure if that was too early or too late and decided to go for 11:30AM feeling kind of like nerds. Well, I did. Vader has seen first or almost first showings of the recent Star Wars movies so she sorta thought we were lightweights. (And yes, she is going to the first showing of Clone Wars next week. I tease her lots, but I think it's kinda cool she loves Star Wars so much and knows so much about it.) But, we got there at 11:30 and there were already 10-20 folks in line ahead of us. By the time noon rolled around the line was huge and out the door and down the stairs. So, 11:30 worked. We got great seats and settled in for the awesomeness that is The Dark Knight. Good times. And it was kind of fun watching people enter the theater around 12:30 or so and see that it was already packed, with the only available seats on the ends or down front.

Of course, after all my line waiting drama I made Vader get to the waterfalls cruise last night ridiculously early. We WERE first in line. But we were first in line for a good 20 minutes so... At least we always have something to talk about. And she was a very good sport.

Hopefully there won't be any drama for The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Maybe if I go on Monday during the day...

Sophia

2008-07-23T23:30:00.000-04:00

I'm not a big one for celebrity gossip. I enjoy hearing about it and I skim all kinds of celeb blogs. I'm a fan of pop culture and all that. But I don't actually care about most of the gossip. It's sad when people break up or die or go to jail or fall off the wagon or whatever, but I have enough people in my life who need my care and attention and love and sympathy. Okay, that sounds cold. Man, I really am dead inside. It's not that I'm cold and uncaring, I just figure they have folks to worry about them. If they need me they can find me and call me but otherwise I'm not going to feel more than a, "huh, that sucks" for people I don't know and/or can't help.

Anyway, my whole point is that I'm actually a little bit sad about Estelle Getty. Like really sad and not just sad in passing for her family and friends.

Anyone who knows me and Vader even a little bit should know our MAD LOVE for the Golden Girls. We've seen all the episodes a million times (bless you Lifetime Television for Women and your six hours of GG a day). We quote them or reference them all the time. I smile every time the Go Fug Yourself girls mention one of Blanche's caftan's or Dorothy's special style of dressing. Even my poor father has been subjected to a episode or two when he's been in town. And I totally hope that when I hit a certain age I'll be living with friends and eating cheesecake and talking about all the dirty sex we're having (finally, after you've gone, Daddy, I might think about having sex) and getting into inane fights and hitting each other on the head with newspapers and stuff like that. So, I'm sad that the woman who brought Sofia to life is gone. And that she had to battle an illness for a long time before.

So, this Sunday Vader and I are going to get together and have a little Estelle Memorial. We're going to watch "Flu Attack" (my favorite GG episode) and "The Case of the Libertine Belle" (Vader's favorite episode) as well as a few others. We'll probably throw in a viewing of Mannequin. And we'll eat cheesecake and some kind of Sophia food that involves red sauce. Or maybe we'll just have ear salve on pasta. And it'll be awesome.

David Lynch goes to Boston Market

2008-07-22T14:03:00.005-04:00

Vader, Bon Jovi and I went to Maggie's house in NH for Fourth of July weekend. We had a lovely time. It's a beautiful house and area and Maggie is a gracious host. Though she could rival my Mamaw in the pushing of food. I think she's going to make an excellent grandma in 30 years or so. But, it was a lovely weekend and I'm glad I went.

Anyway, in order to get to NH we rented a car in Brooklyn and drove all the way up there. I warned Maggie that we would arrive late and quite punchy from being in a car for so long. But even I didn't realize what a road trip it would end up being.

We started out okay, but with lots of traffic. There were a lot of people getting off the East Norwalk exit. Vader thought this was because they were all going to the Yankee Doodle Ranch. We had to break her heart a little by pointing out she misread the sign and it was really Yankee Doodle Bridge. We were all a little sad there is no Yankee Doodle Ranch.

Maggie called us a time or two from the road. She left Boston about the same time we left Brooklyn, and seemed a little surprised we were so far behind her drivingwise. She wanted to know why we weren't on I495 at one point. Vader pointed out we would be, in about two hours. I suspect she was just really excited to see us and have us see the house. But it seemed like she thought we'd all arrive around the same time.

Somewhere in Connecticut we were all getting a little hungry and Vader had to pee. So, we took the next exit promising gas and food. The vegetarian vetoed Burger King and KFC, the diabetic vetoed Duncan Donuts. That left us with Boston Market. Oh my.

We walked in and it was strangely quiet. Like really, creepily quiet. There were a few folks behind the counter and a couple of customers already there. But everyone was moving very slowly. And very quietly. Vader, Bon Jovi and I all started talking to each other in a whisper, and then sort of stopped speaking at all not long after after we went inside. There was a VERY pregnant woman ahead of us in line and she was asking the guy behind the counter (kinda cute, but hunched over the whole time we were there, he never stood up once) about the $4.99 specials advertised in the window. He looked at her blankly for a bit and then suggested the Side Sampler (which was priced at $5.99). She asked if they had a list of the $4.99 specials. "Nope." He didn't tell her what the $4.99 specials were, but didn't say they didn't have $4.99 specials either. Very strange.

The pregnant woman told us to go ahead while she just hung out looking at the menu and the sides displayed under the plexiglass. I believe she was still there when we finally left.

I ordered the Side Sampler with mashed potatoes, mac & cheese (also known as spiral pasta and yellow liquid) and green beans. I had to wait a moment or two for the "mac" & "cheese" to be brought out. The woman in front of me was waiting on corn. Every so often she would ask how long until the corn would be ready. Every time a couple of the workers would react by being vaguely surprised there was no corn, announcing they needed corn and responding that someone was getting corn. But no one ever told her when the corn was coming. Until eventually corn came. I think.

As the cute hunched over counter guy was packing up my food he said, "would you like this to go?"
Amanda: "No. I, um, want to stay."
CHOCG: "We're closing at 9."
Amanda (seeing that it's 8:52): "So, I guess I have to get it to go."
CHOCG: "I'm not saying that."
CHOCG: "But we're closing at 9."
Amanda: "We'll take it to go."

At some point a few other people came in. One woman with a full leg cast and crutches. A very strange looking couple. The pregnant woman still hanging out, letting people get in front of her. The line grew behind us. And yet it was still very, very quiet. And everyone was moving very, very slowly. Customers and workers.

I was in line to pay and wanted to make sure Vader and I got our cornbread with our Side Samplers. One worker showed it to me in a bag. Then another worker came around and tossed it in the larger bag of the person behind us (the woman waiting on corn). Vader then came up to me, asked me to pay for her food handed her wallet to me and said, "I have to..." and then wandered off. I demanded more cornbread. I have no idea why, but I was obsessed with making sure we got our cornbread. Paying took long enough that Vader was back from the bathroom by the time I made it to the drink station. It was very sticky on the walk from the cash register to the drink station. And as quiet as it was you could hear me pry my foot off the floor with each step.

At the drink station Vader was mesmerized by the two 2 liter bottles of Coke. At first she wondered if they just poured it into the soda fountain. I pointed out the coke lever was probably broken and people were to serve themselves. She didn't say anything, but kept pointing at the bottles. Later she said she was just concerned about health code violations. We got our sodas and met up with Bon Jovi and headed to the car. They locked the doors as soon as we left. Even though other people were still inside.

Apparently while we were getting drinks, Bon Jovi was insisting that he did NOT want his cornbread. But the cashier kept pushing it on him. At one point the couple behind him asked if THEY could have his cornbread. We don't know if the cashier let them have it or not.

So, we get outside and there is nowhere to eat our food. And Boston Market is NOT the kind of food you can eat while driving. Someone did leave an almost full and still cold enough the bottle was sweating Mike's Hard Lemonade in the parking spot next to us. We opted not to drink it. Anyway, we sat in the car eating mashed potatoes and sweet potato souffle (apparently largely just mashed sweet potatoes with brown sugar rocks on top) and really bad cornbread. Laughing, sweating and watching at least 8 different cop cars go through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru across the street. While we were there a couple different cars pulled up and people got out only to get back in when they saw the Boston Market was closed. At one point a red mini van pulled up with a woman talking very animatedly in the driver's seat. We couldn't see a phone or anything and thought she was talking to herself. Until a very, very short man got out of the passenger seat. We couldn't even see him when he was in the van. And we decided then it was VERY Lynchian. I don't think the guy was actually a little person, but he was pretty small and looked to be an adult. And it was all just such a weird experience with all the quiet and the strange people and everyone speaking and moving so slowly...

We finally finished our food and were ready to head out. But there wasn't a trash can for as far as the eye could see. At least on our side of the road. So, we bagged it all up and got onto the highway, pulling into the CVS when we spotted a trash can. Bon Jovi got back in the car and informed us there was already a pile of Boston Market trash in the CVS trash can. Heh. Awesome.

So, we hit the road once again. Maggie checked in from time to time, Bon Jovi supplied awesome tunes (Blondie, Bon Jovi, Rick Springfield, etc) and we did well until I got ired. Between laughing over Boston Market and just being pooped I started to lose focus on the road. Not a good thing So, we looked for a place to pull over so Vader could take on driving duties. We saw a sign for a rest area and pulled over.

Now, most rest areas have at least a bathroom, some lights, picnic tables, something. This one was just wooded area and some parking spots. You should also know that Vader hates nature and the woods and all of that. Okay, I'm not sure she actually hates nature, but she's afraid of it. She's convinced nature or axe murderers or some such are going to come out of the dark and murder her. In a violent and painful manner. Lots of people have this fear, but hers is a bit grander than most. So, we pull up into a spot with dark woods on one side and a couple of dark parked trucks. Sh e jumped out of the car, ran over to the driver's seat and got in, locking her door as quickly as possible. I wasn't paying much attention and got out of the car to dump some more trash (there WAS a trashcan nearby) and stretch my legs. Until Vader and Bon Jovi threatened to leave my ass there if I didn't get in the car 'RIGHT THIS MINUTE.' Between Boston Market and this stop it we decided I'm not allowed to pick any more of our stops. Though the sleeping truckers did give us a nice long conversation about trucks, Modern Marvels, truck stop hookers, Lifetime-esque movies about truck stop hookers and a little look into my bizarre psyche.

Things went along smoothly until we hit NH. I was in the middle of some story or talking point and I saw the welcome sign. My first instinct was to say "Welcome to New Hampshire" to the car. Really, that was my intent when I stopped mid sentence. What came out of my mouth was an extremely loud, rather angry, "LIVE FREE OR DIE, BITCHES!!!" that scared Vader, Bon Jovi, me and possibly any other cars within a 100 feet of us. It was very bizarre. And I think that was the moment we broke poor Bon Jovi.

Not long after we hit the town which hosts Maggie's lake house. We pulled out her instructions and learned that they were thorough and correct, but really only useful in daylight. In the dead of night without street lights or house lights it's very hard to make out fields and meadows and farmhouses and such. But, we made it almost to the house when we ended up on Hemlock Lane. And hit a dead end. The Soundtrack from Grease 2 was on the stereo, Vader was freaking out because the nature is dark and scary all around us and all Bon Jovi could do was sing "Wa a a" from "Girl for All Seasons" over and over again. Well, until he saw a house with four guys hanging out inside. He wanted us to just drop him off there, but we didn't think having Bon Jovi ringing a doorbell at 1:30AM in a remote part of NH singing "Wa a a" would end well. Also, while she called us several times over the course of the drive, now that we were lost and needed her we couldn't get her on the phone. I know now that her house isn't in a great service area and her phone wasn't ringing but at the time there was a lot of swearing. So, Vader is in the car freaking out thinking nature is going to kill us, Bon Jovi is singing "Wa a a" on a constant loop and I'm swearing up a storm. Don't you so wish you were there?

We turned back around and right before the turn saw the house number on a tree and also on the house. We weren't sure it was the right street, but with the proper number we figured we'll chance it. There were lights on in the house unlike most others. We got to the front door and Bon Jovi wouldn't go in. He claimed he'd "seen this movie" and thought he'd be shot. I would've barged right in, but I was at the back of the group. Finally we saw Maggie's cat coming towards the door and knew we're in the right place. At which point we stumbled in with all our crap and promptly freak out Maggie and her friend with our inane babbling. And Bon Jovi's "Wa a a"'s.

So, who's with us for the NEXT road trip?

Fun Being a Girl

2008-07-22T13:24:00.002-04:00

(Dad, just stay away from this entry, you really don't want to read this.)

A friend of mine is experiencing her first UTI this morning. And hopefully if I don't mention her name, she won't mind me writing about it.

I had 'em when I was little. And then again a time or two in college, when I was probably at my most sexually active. And it's just the worst thing ever. I'd rather have a festival of yeast infections than a UTI. It hurts and you want to pee all the time. When I have one all I want to do is sit on the toilet and cry. I had to be threatened once in order go to the ER when I had an open wound with exposed fatty tissue, but I will barely bother to put on shoes or pants in my rush to get to the doctor if I have a UTI. My friend is someone who is usually trying to convince me to see a doctor but as soon as she said she thought she had a UTI I was all, "go to the doctor, NOW." I think she may have thought she was dying since the 'walk it off' girl was so vehemently recommending a doctor's visit.

And it really is such a girl thing. Yeah, guys can get them, but I think over half of all women in this country have a UTI at least once in their lives. On the Mayo Clinic's website under risks for UTI the first one is "being female." Bah! Most women will totally feel your pain when you get one. Whenever I'd have one female nurses, doctors and pharmacists (and even boyfriends' mothers) would be so sympathetic. We'd exchange horror stories, giggle about the evils of having sex and then jokingly blame the menfolk. My friend had a similar experience, as I think I told her she would. Her doctor was sooo sympathetic. And apparently laughed at her at one point. Her doctor was prescribing the antibiotics and then mentioned the pain killer and my friend was all eager, "Is that for the orange pills?" The doctor was confused as she thought it was her first such infection. My friend said it was but that her friend (me) told her to go to the doctor and get the orange pills right away. And her doctor laughed.

But dude, the orange pills. They're magic. They make you pee neon orange for a while, but they work super fast, numb everything up and make the bad go away while the antibiotics do their thing. Oh how I love them. I haven't had a UTI in over a decade but I think if I had any skills as a poet I would write an ode to the orange pills for you right now.

I would also like to stress for everyone who hasn't had one (you lucky, lucky people) that it's not just dirty hos who get UTIs. Granted my adult ones came from a little experimenting without enough research (Dad, you SO better not be reading now) or from impersonating a bunny after a dry spell. So yes, sex seems to be a factor. Cleanliness of girl parts is always a good thing. Peeing after sex is a good, good thing to do if you're a chica. Proper post-potty technique is wise. Drinking the cranberry juice (oh how I hate vodka free cranberry juice) is a helpful thing. But sometimes, it seems you just get them. And when you do, go to the doctor, get your orange pills (and antibiotics) and then giggle and sympathize and bond with some chicas.

Dr. Muffy is probably horrified by my unscientific entry about doctoring. Because she is wise. And a doctor.

Movies

2008-07-21T15:21:00.002-04:00

Vader and I are going to see WarGames Thursday night. Very excited. When one of her coworkers was describing what WarGames was to another coworker he said, "It's like Dr. Strangelove directed by John Hughes." Love it!

Vader and I saw a couple of movies this past weekend. Now, I normally am the one sitting next to the chatty/crazy/evil/not too bright people, but that was Vader's luck this weekend. At Wall-e she sat next to an adult woman who looked bright enough, but had to have the move constantly explained to her. Wall-e. A children's movie. Created with children in mind. Something children could understand. Apparently she had a hard time grasping the idea of robots. So, through our whole next movie I kept leaning over to Vader and asking, "What's that?" Every time she responded with, "It's a robot."

Next, we went to see Mama Mia. A move based on a Broadway Musical based on the songs of ABBA. Whether you know anything else about this movie, you should expect some singing. But, apparently there is a whole group of people out there who pay their $10+ without knowing what they're getting into. At the opening scene the girl next to her asked if it was a Disney movie. And decided Amanda Seyfried sounded like Ariel. At one point in the movie she threatened to throw something at the screen if the cast sang one more song. And she was horrified by all the old people in the movie. You know, the ancient old crones in their 50s. Who are all in better shape and look better in bathing suits than I do. Or her I think. Bah! As Vader said, "shut up, you have a side ponytail!"

My all time favorite still has to be when Muffy, Steph and I went to see Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Right before the end some guy in front of us ran off to the restroom (I assume). He came back as the credits were rolling. He seemed bummed and asked his friend what had happened. The response, "The fat kid almost drowned." And then... "And they totally set it up for a sequel." Took Muffy and I a while to stop laughing. He just seemed so amazed at the NERVE.

Another good one was when Lovey and I went to see Serenity. It was a fairly empty theater. A man was sitting in the aisle seat, then an empty seat, then me, then Lovey, then several empty seats. Plus many excellent empty seats all around the theater. But this woman comes in and tromps over the man to sit next to me. And takes up all of her seat and then some. Not because she was all that big, though she wasn't tiny, but because she had her jacket and elbows and arms and hands and hair all over the place. Right before the movie started folks sat on Lovey's other side so we couldn't really move down. So, Lovey and I watched the whole movie leaning slightly to the left. The woman wasn't quite in her right mind. Trying to chat with me during the previews and a good portion of the movie. About all kinds of things that made no sense to me at all. I kind of got where she was coming from with the cannibal talk as it sort of tied into the movie, at times, maybe. But most of the rest of it made no sense. Then, at the end of the movie Lovey fled and I turned my head to the right. The woman had bent over, I think to pick something up, and her pants fell down. And her panty clad ass was about an inch or two from my face. I was kind of horrified. She was not. It was an interesting movie going experience.

I can't wait to see what happens at WarGames.

Activity Interest?

2008-07-15T15:42:00.002-04:00

It's summer, I hate my apartment (it's messy) and I am looking to do New York things outside of it. A lot of it Girlie flavored. Vader and I are hitting the Bust Anniversary party on August 12th, if anyone is interested. Buy a ticket and let us know and we'll figure out times and places to meet up.

Also, the Brooklyn Cyclones Ladies Clinic is August 2nd. I've been the past two years and love it. Even though it makes me feel woefully fat and out of shape. Or, more accurately, reminds me that I am woefully fat and out of shape. Heh. Anyway, this year there's a meet and greet with an AGPBL All Star Pitcher. How awesome is that?

Vader and I are also planning on doing the Waterfalls free cruise, probably sometime in August. I'm looking to go on both an evening and daytime one. So drop me a line with your availability if you want to join us. We haven't gotten our tickets yet, but will soon.

And I'm sure there's other stuff too. Ideas, suggestions? Anyone ever been to that Frying Pan boat bar?

Sunday Opera

2008-07-10T13:08:00.002-04:00

I am going to this on Sunday if anyone has any interest in joining me, I'd love the company. I'm not sure about all the performers, but Beverly and Erika definitely kick ass.

@#$%^^&@

2008-07-02T17:22:00.002-04:00

For those of you who snort and make ugly faces when I mention that I am shy, an IM with my mother today:

[17:17] AuntieAmanda: But you're a more outgoing person than I am.
[17:17] AuntieAmanda: I'm shy.
[17:18] AAMom: @#$%^^&@
[17:18] AuntieAmanda: What?
[17:18] AAMom: That was my response to the fact that you think you are shy!

Apparently NONE of you understand the shy little girl within. Not even my own mother!

Birthday Week

2008-06-18T12:22:00.004-04:00

I was just now sitting at my desk feeling sorry for myself. Like a four year old.

It has been a rough year for me this past year, for a multitude of reasons. But rather than thinking about any of that, I was finding myself thinking, "no one wants to come celebrate my birthday with me." Which is both untrue and, in the grand scheme of things, such a small thing anyway. I mean, I have both of my parents healthy and alive. I'm rather healthy (despite my inability to get off my fat ass and lose weight). I have a job that is good overall, despite the whining I've been doing about it (in my head) lately. I have good friends, a lovely cat (no matter what y'all say about her), an apartment and backyard I love, a life in New York that suits me for now, a loving family, a steady paycheck and respect from my job, all that good stuff. And yet... "no one is coming to my birthday party."

But, Vader is coming. Bon Jovi is coming. Lovey is coming. The Erogenous Vulcan will be there. Sheena should be there. It's not like I'll be sitting home alone crying into deviled eggs or anything. Granted a large number of my invitees are NOT coming, but still, people will be there. And Vader, apparently appalled I wasn't doing Birthday Week on my own,* seems to have decided to have a Birthday Week for me in spite of myself.

Ma & Pa Vader were in town this weekend so we all dined together Sunday night. And it was lovely. I haven't seen them in over two decades so it was good to catch up. Monday night I was cleaning and putzing and Vader came over to hang and eat diner food with me. Last night Vader, Bon Jovi, Lovey & I all went to see Xanadu on Broadway (which I cannot recommend enough). And it was even more awesome than when Vader and I saw it last year on the first night of previews. Tonight Vader and the Erogenous Vulcan and I will be watching some documentary and making fun of Star Wars fans while hopefully eating Mac & Cheese. Tomorrow night Steph is in town!!!!! And so a few of us are getting together for dinner and drinks on my actual bday. And I will have fruity cocktails at the Zombie Hut, avoiding the Singapore Slings - I hear they're deadly. And Friday was to be cleaning and cooking and waiting for Fresh Direct but Vader is dragging my but out for mani/pedis right after work and before my groceries arrive. Which should be lovely. And then Saturday will be my party. And even if hundreds of people do not show up for it, at least a handful of lovely people will be there. To drink with and eat deviled eggs with and make snarky comments with and laugh with and look at my costumed lawn flamingo with...

So, I'm going to stop being a baby and be very grateful for what I have.

If only I could figure out how to reverse the aging process for these birthdays.

*My last big Birthday Week was for my 30th and I haven't had the energy to do such a massive one since. So, I think massive Birthday Weeks will be every five years, with mini ones in between. So, y'all get ready for the big 3 - 5 next year.

Barb is Blogging

2008-05-21T17:15:00.000-04:00

I would like to start writing frequently again. Hopefully soon. But in the meantime, enjoy a little bit of Barb Fun. Hopefully she'll attend the "Red Hatters" event at the RV Rally coming up and write about that.

W4M

2008-03-21T14:00:00.000-04:00

Turnip is looking for a man. The requirements are below:
#1: not a jerk
#2: straight
#3" not an addict
#4: smart
#5: funny
#6: not a troll
#7: not a deadbeat
#8: in our age range
#9: not related to us
#10: in my city

Now, I don't think it's necessarily a man to date, but just to know a man fitting all the above requirements exists. And for #10 I guess New York and LA would both work. So, if you know any such man... let us know.

Numbers 8-10 were added when I wouldn't stop suggesting my father. I would've thought "not married" would've been added in there too, but Mom, I guess she'd be okay with stealing your Man.

I Hate Winter

2008-02-12T19:15:00.000-05:00

I hate winter. I hate the cold. I hate layers. I hate wool and sleet and wintery mix and catching colds and flu season and winter coats and sweaters and being cold outside & hot when I go into department stores. I hate taking up a full extra third of space than normal when I'm on the train. I hate black ice and ice storms. I hate having to bundle up. I hate shivering and shaking. I hate seeing my breath in the air. I hate that hot, itchy, sweaty feeling under my layers. I hate having my hair freeze if I don't have time to dry it before going out. I hate not being able to stay outside for very long. I hate people telling me to button up my coat. I hate losing scarves everywhere. I hate walking across campus with the icy wind blowing. I hate everyone hibernating until the Spring.

But I love snow. I love getting out of school for snow days. I love the way it looks piling up on my plastic yard flamingo. I love how quiet everything gets. And how the sky never totally gets dark. I love sitting on my swing in the backyard watching the snow fall down and accumulate on my houseslippers. I love going sledding at the golf course and having someone's parent drive around while we ride on an inner tube or tire tied to the back. I love when it gets really tall and I can make a kickass snow angel. I love snowball fights and the way it feels when it melts and trickles down my bare back under my shirt. I love the way it looks on my coat and my hat and my scarf when I come inside. I love opening the door and watching my Escape Cat take one look at that wet white stuff and run back inside. I love my old Snoopy Snowcone Maker. I love the way it tastes on my tongue and feels on my face. I love that it's cold and wet and yet makes me feel so warm and safe and cozy.

The Christmas Dork Takes a Holiday

2007-12-06T12:00:00.000-05:00

I don't know what it is this season, but I'm having a hard time getting into the spirit of things. Normally I'm ALL about the Christmas stuff. But I haven't even baked a damn Christmas cookie yet and it's already December 6th. I am listening to some Christmas music on my iPod, but normally that's ALL I listen to starting the day after Thanksgiving. I'm not doing crazy shopping and gift planning. It took me a while to muster enough energy to get my decorations out and I haven't even gotten a wreath yet. And writing the Christmas Letter seemed more of a chore than usual. I also haven't gone to look at any decorations or Holiday store windows (except Barney's which I walk by on my way to/from work) or anything yet.

Maybe it's that things are crazy at work right now (they should get better next week), I don't have much money for presents and cookie fixin's and party throwing and all, I'm not sleeping well and that always makes me even moodier than usual, and who knows what else. I also think I'm a little tired of getting all into Christmas like the giant Christmas Dork I am and having no one else but my mother be quite as excited. Not that anyone has any obligation to get as into Christmas as I do, but normally I don't care how enthused everyone else is and just plow on having fun regardless. This year I feel a little more 'why bother if it's only just me who's having fun'? I think I just need a break. To recharge, be mellow, all that stuff.

Of course, I still have over 500 Christmas Songs on my iPod to listen to, I still have quite a few decorations up in my apartment, I've already started working on my 160+ Christmas Cards and I'm making plans for Holiday goodness with my folks. And I got a little excited watching The Closer's holiday episode last night where one character keeps going on about his Perry Como CDs. Because Perry Como Holiday CDs rank up there with the Muppets as my all time favorite Christmas CDs. Also, Muffy will be here for a couple of days next week to possibly drag me to a couple Holiday Hot Spots.

So, me taking it down a notch for the holidays still probably leaves me more of a Christmas Dork than most. Still, I feel a bit like a Grinch. At least by my standards. I guess I'll just chill this year and come back stronger than ever in '08. Prepare yourselves, people.

Seriously, if you don't have the Muppets & John Denver Christmas CD you MUST get it.

NYC Snow

2007-12-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

Snow in New York City is an interesting thing. I think it's gorgeous for the first hour or so. The city looks so pretty with everything covered in white. Hiding all the ugly stuff, highlighting the pretty parts. And things get so much quieter with the snow. Walking through the city with snow falling is such a peaceful time. And my neighbors are big fans of making praying snowmen with angel wings. How can you not love that?

But then the plows come and push all the snow into piles that turn to ice. People walk all over it and make it slushy and then icy with their foot steps. Dogs (& people) pee and poop everywhere. And dog owners seem less interested in poop scooping in the snow (& people never scoop their own poop). With all the walking required in the city it becomes a pain tromping all over that snow and ice, and wearing pretty shoes on the street is right out.

That's one of the reasons I love having a backyard. The snow stays pretty back there for a while. The footprints made out there are by cats or birds or me. And I can enjoy the snow all I want without worry. During the first snowfall after I moved to this apartment I ran outside and made a snow angel. And giggled like a four year old the whole damn time.

'Tis the Season

2007-11-30T17:15:00.000-05:00

Ah the Holiday Drinking Season is upon us. Such a lovely time of year.

I'm kicking it off with two birthday parties this weekend. One tonight for MC and one tomorrow night for Sheena. Both women are much younger than I am and yet pissing and moaning about becoming old. I'll have to drink heavily to survive.

Then next week are the office holiday parties. Thursday will be a circus event. I was told there would be cocktails. Which I will be needing many of, since I will be at a Circus with coworkers. Luckily, I like my coworkers. Which will be helpful for Friday night when we have our own Holiday Party involving dinner & drinks followed with wild post-dinner boozing. We're a lush kind of company it seems.

Side note: my coworkers were appalled when they learned I was a vegetarian, but accepted it. I suspect I might not have been long for this world had I told them I didn't drink. After learning I was a vegetarian, one of my bosses looked at me in horror and said, "Do you not drink either?!?!?" He was so happy when I laughed at him.

Anyway, after staying out until the wee hours with my bosses & co, I am pondering getting on a bus to Boston sometime Saturday morning so I can hit Muffy & Steph's Holiday party. At which I assume booze will be served. If I do make this party and you see me on a bus from Boston to New York Sunday afternoon, do NOT sit by me. It won't be pretty for you if you do. I'll either get ill and not make it to the bathroom, will grumble and fuss and whine at you the whole way down or I'll fall asleep and drool on you excessively. And I am sure I will REEK of alcohol.

Lord only knows what the following week will hold. Maggie will probably be visiting that weekend. And then, Christmas with the family. Which often involves a very drunk Daddy & Mandy and an eye-rolling Mommy. Good times.

Happy Holidays, y'all!!!!

Vote for Dave!!

2007-11-28T10:05:00.000-05:00

I believe you can vote 10 times, so I expect nothing less!!!
http://www.cwtv.com/contest/enter/bag-americas-choice

http://wesleyan.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6447651342
www.datedave.org

Guinness, Peanuts & Chocolate

2007-11-27T13:10:00.000-05:00

So, last night the folks and I went out to Otto for dinner. Mom hadn't been in a few years and really wanted to go. They no longer do the calzones she had when we were there back in '04, but we still managed to have a good time. I haven't been in ages either, not since Muffy decided we'd gone too often and needed a break. Not that it's Muffy's fault I haven't been, it just sort of fell off my radar after that. Maybe I should blame Muffy anyway.

But, it was lovely. Lots of wine and cheese and bread. And that honey with truffle I love so very much. I think our waiter was not pleased with us for dipping our bread in before the cheese plate came ("did he explain the cheese condiments to you?"), but whatever. That stuff is SO good. I really love dipping the pecorino in it.

And then, to top it all off, how could I resist a dessert called "Guinness, Peanuts & Chocolate"? I could not. Because that's just some tasty deliciousness right there. Even without knowing what's in it. Though next time I might just get the Guinness gelato plain. Just to see how it tastes without all that other tasty stuff mixed in.

Of course, after Otto this visit and Babbo the last visit, my Dad is making rumblings about wanting orange crocs. Anyone who knows my dad PLEASE email him and tell him what a bad idea crocs are (unless they're Disney Crocs). Thanks!

TiVo

2007-11-25T18:30:00.000-05:00

My parents are in town for the holiday and we've been having a lovely time.

Though neither one approves of what's on the TiVo. I don't record enough shows they like.

Mom isn't happy that I let TiVo record it's recommendations (when I have the space) and was upset I had no CourtTV or Animal Planet shows.

Dad was APPALLED I didn't have anything from the History or Discovery Channels. So, I agreed to TiVo a Modern Marvels, which we watched last night. Turned out to be a GREAT one on distilleries, a topic near and dear to our heavy drinking hearts. Though, when they got to the scotch section Daddy and I just got too thirsty to bear it and broke into my whisky collection. Mom wanted a mojito, but sadly I did not have rum nor mint in the house. I'm a little disappointed in myself for that. I'll have to hit the liquor store before the Christmas Holidays I think. No tequila, no rum, but two kinds of scotch, one blended Irish whiskey and a bourbon. Heh. I guess when it comes to boozing up I am my father's daughter.

Parents and Cleaning and Football

2007-11-19T16:45:00.001-05:00

The folks hit town today. And apparently the apartment passed muster. Oh glorious day. Initially I was going to do nothing but clean this weekend. But then I made plans for Sunday to see Muppet, whom I hadn't seen in a couple of weeks. And then I made plans for Saturday afternoon. And then Saturday night JBJ called up to say, "Hey, wanna see Blade Runner tonight?" And obviously that is an invitation that can't be turned down. And so, not as much time at home as I wanted.

But, I ran the roomba lots, scrubbed the bathroom, made sure the catbox was very clean (just for Daddy), made sure there were surfaces and empty hangers (just for Mommy) and hoped for the best.

And somehow I managed to go the whole weekend without watching football. Honestly, I haven't done that since the season started. Sorry, Mom, but between Monkey Man, Vader and the Erogenous Vulcan I've become quite the little football viewer. I'm even finding I like it. I just don't have a team. I root for the Patriots and the Jets sometimes because I went to Wesleyan. I root for Florida because of Vader, the Giants because of the Erogenous Vulcan, the Steelers because of Monkey Man, the Colts and IU because of Daddy... but I don't have a team to really call my own. College or NFL. Gotta figure out that one out. Any advice and suggestions are welcome. The Muppets say to go for a local team as it's a bitch to root for an out of town team. But, I don't plan on being in New York forever and I already will have to worry about being a Yankees fan outside the city. I just don't know.

New BFF

2007-11-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday a 24 year old at work said she thought I was "[her] age." She was surprised I was 33. Heh. I told her it was just because I act so immature all the time. She said no, I just look really young.

I KNOW I don't look 24. I look 33. But still, she's my new BFF.

Date Dave

2007-11-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know. I haven't blogged in a million years. I'll start again. Someday. But for now, this is AWESOME:

http://www.datedavid.org/

Come on, Ladies, fill out an application. You know you want to. Except you, Mom. You're still married. And I do NOT want to have to call David Daddy.

Kill me now

2007-06-14T11:53:00.000-04:00

I have found two gray hairs in as many days. Life is no longer worth living. I am old. I am never going out again. I am staying home to become a Brooklyn spinster with her cats, her garden and her TiVo.

I will miss you all.

OJ ALL DAY

2007-05-02T23:18:00.000-04:00

Pumpkin Made Me Do it

2007-04-26T23:13:00.000-04:00

Pumpkin made me do it.

You Are 56% Girly

You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie.
You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines.

How Girly Are You?

I'm apparently not as girlie as one might think. Though some of the questions are silly. Lots of girlie girls have guy friends. I would get more manicures regularly if I could afford it (and had a dishwasher). Being tan all the time leads to wrinkles so I think it's just as girlie to be a fanatic about sunscreen. And I have pretty hair and don't want to make it less soft and shiny by using hair dye - which I think is very girlie of me.

It's apparently been so long since I've posted I had no idea there were all these blogger changes. Bad Amanda. I'll be better once my job search is over. Promise!

Shoes

2006-12-19T11:00:00.001-05:00

Vader made me watch this the other day (NSFW unless you watch it without sound, which is pointless). And along with the Robin Sparkles video it's become our favorite youtube thing ever. And I have no idea why. It's so bizarre. But it becomes more and more awesome with every viewing. So at my holiday party on Saturday we kept quoting it all night. And making everyone else watch it. To share the bizarre, as we like to do. We also started making up our own horribly offensive versions that tie into other horribly offensive jokes we have going, but I won't share that with y'all. Because despite what my closest friends might get to see from time to time, I am a really nice person. Honest!

We also wondered who the hell would come up with such madness, so the next day, having no holiday crap to do, I did some research (which took all of two minutes) and it turns out it's from this guy. Who has other songs and videos. And t-shirts. I almost bought a t-shirt. Instead I settled for buying the album from iTunes.

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy the madness as much as Vader and I did. Or do. I'm sure we'll be saying "shoes," "deck" and "betch" all through our breakfast date tomorrow. We need help.

Post Holiday Party

2006-12-17T17:45:00.001-05:00

So, my party is over, my cards are mailed (none of you apparently want cards for yourself), my gifts are mailed and I'm feeling like I have nothing to do. I do have things on my to do list, but until I pack for my trip to North Carolina there isn't anything I MUST DO like there was before. Bizarre. I'm sure I'll adjust.

My holiday party was nice. And fun. Vader showed up early as she often does and helped me clean and prep. Iolanthe and Muffy showed up a little later and helped too. Though there wasn't much left to do as being unemployed helps one stay on top of things. Lots of folks showed up early and then dashed off so that the party had wound down by about 11. Though the last guests didn't leave until 1. It was a small mellow kind of thing.

It was fun. I got to catch up with some folks and didn't spend nearly enough time with others. Lots of cookies were consumed, though not enough. I have plenty to take with me to Raleigh at least. The family will be happy. I might pawn the rest off on Lovey to share with folks at my old job. They always complained about my cookie baking so maybe it'll be my little revenge for my unemployment. The unemployment I've kind of been loving. :)

I guess now I just have to kick back and enjoy the holidays. And my friends. And my family. Not a hard thing to do.

The Christmas Dork Never Stops

2006-12-15T12:30:00.000-05:00

I have sent out 131 Christmas Cards this year. Dear god. And I might send more. I'm still trying to track down a few addresses. If you didn't get a card from me and want one (everyone seems to enjoy mocking my "annual essay" so I can't deny anyone who wants in on that), just email me your address. If you don't have my email address you can email me at my gmail account. It's AuntieAmanda.

Now I need to get back to baking and cleaning for my party tomorrow night. A Christmas Dork's job is never done...

For All My Heroes Fan Friends

2006-12-13T22:00:00.000-05:00

Some reading

Woo!

2006-12-13T17:30:00.000-05:00

I got my first Christmas Cards today! I am beside myself with excitement! Oh how I love the Holidays.

Parental Visit

2006-12-13T14:30:00.002-05:00

My folks were here this past weekend and we had a lovely time. With a combination of the drama of flying standby and high winds delays at Newark Airport it took them something like 13 hours or more to get here on Friday. Dad joked that he thought it might take less time for them to fly to New York from Hawai'i. Poor things. So, sadly we did not get to go out and walk the neighborhood looking at all the Christmas lights on the Brownstones. But maybe I can con Muffy into that at some point.

Saturday Dad ran errands and raked leaves while Mom and I did some Christmas shopping. Neither of them have any stamina when it comes to shopping. I have no idea where my ability to shop for hours and hours and hours without fatigue comes from. I look too much like both of 'em to suspect a different father. Oh well. After all the running around, Vader came over to wrap more gifts while Mom and I baked cookies and made fudge and listened to Holiday music. And Dad and Vader acted as testers and bowl lickers and such. That sounded dirty. It wasn't. And after all the holiday fun time, Mom forced Vader to try Thai food even though she doesn't like it. And we all watched Ghostbusters. SUCH a good movie.

Sunday we all hiked out to DUMBO to go to the Jacques Torres store for gifts and chocolate for ourselves. They have really good cocoa and bonbons. It was quite a long walk, but fun and good for us. After that we got ready for TARCON, met Vader and headed into Manhattan for the event. I had a good time. We were not FIRST in line like we were last time, but pretty close. Though I think we were the only ones in line NOT talking about the show. Heh. The drinks were super strong and the food not bad. Sheena's ex, Bob, showed up before the show started and we all had a good time watching the race. I think my favorite part is watching the show with 200-300 other people who love it too with all the ooohing and aaahing and cheering and booing. Though I'm a horrible person and enjoy being catty too. Making fun of people and such. Some former racers showed up as well as the top three from the current season and Mom got good pics of 'em all. And then we headed home. Sadly the F wasn't stopping at Vader's place so we hung out with her by the bus stop before going home and passing out ourselves.

Monday almost killed Dad. Mom was up and ready to go way before we were, but we headed out about 11:15 anyway. First we went to Grand Central Terminal (it's not a station) and hit the MTA store. They always have cute gifts and I like the model train display they have every Christmas. Then we caught the 12:30PM light show. It's a Kaleidoscope show this year. Very pretty. Some of the light show was stained glass and such, but a lot of it was New York themed with MTA trains and cards and tokens in the kaleidoscope style as well as things like the Terminal itself and the Chrysler Building. We got lots of pictures and I really loved it. Then Mom and I checked out the Holiday Fair there. She found one thing she really loved and is thinking she might keep it for herself rather than give it as a gift. And I can't blame her.

After that we headed to the Bryant Park Holiday Fair. I'd never been and I wanted to check out the ice skating rink they have there in the winters now. It was pretty cool. And there were some cute things at the market. This time we left Dad with some cider and his cigar while we wandered. After that it was off to the Union Square Holiday Market. That one is my favorite of the three. Mom found a few gifts there while Dad went to Forbidden Planet to browse around like the nerd he is.

Then we headed to S'mac and it was awesome. We split five small pans of the Brie, Gruyere, Goat Cheese, All-American and Mozzarellla. So good. So very, very good. I do love that place. We noticed on the website they have a Happy Hour on weekdays from 3-5 and figured that was the best time to go. More to avoid the crowds than to get the discount, though that was nice. It was pretty dead at 3 on a Monday, just as an FYI. So the owner came out to see if we were enjoying it and we got to chat with her for a bit. She seems lovely and the place seems to be doing well. Mom then decided she needed to get a photo of her behind the counter. A few minutes later she came back and took a picture of us and said we might be on the website as the fans of the week. Right now she said it's mostly ended up being the fan of the month, but... keep an eye out for us on the site. :)

After that Dad wanted to check out the tree at Rockefeller Center. He's never seen it in person. So we headed up that way. He felt the tree was a little scraggly. Heh. Mom and I wandered around taking pictures of the tree, the cool snowflakes lights falling down along the building, the snowflakes on Sak's... I even convinced them to do the staged photos in front of the tree that NBC was doing. Totally goofy, but totally fun. I think I might even order some. Family portraits! We also did a little shopping up there as well. But finally we were exhausted and couldn't walk anymore so we came home to flop down for TV and a light dinner.

They left yesterday at noon after a morning of breakfast and hanging out. I was sad to see them go, but I'll be with 'em in North Carolina in a week, so it wasn't much of a tearful parting. And it too them much less time to get home than it did to get here.

I Love Christmas

2006-12-08T12:00:00.001-05:00

I have my Christmas decorations up, I've had my Christmas Music (I have 470 Christmas songs on my iPod) going since November 24th, I've already started a little baking, Vader and I have already had part one of the Christmas wrapping party (she wraps my gifts in exchange for pizza and baked goods) and I've finished about a third of my Christmas Cards. Oh how I love this time of year!

And this unemployment thing is quite handy at Christmas. While I'm seriously job searching now and it takes up a hunk of my weekdays it still doesn't take up a full work day, doesn't involve an hour and a half round trip commute and doesn't include all the extra hours needed for end of the year projects. So I'm actually on top of the cards and the presents and all this year. Normally I'm frantically shopping at the last minute and sitting around at my aunt's or my parents' house on the 23rd finishing the last of my cards.

This weekend my folks are coming to town, in fact, if the flights work out, they should be here in a couple of hours, and I'm hoping to get in a little Christmas fun with them. Since I'm not living with them anymore, Mom and I don't really get to bake together or decorate together or any of that. So we're having a mini baking party tomorrow afternoon. Vader should be coming over to do more wrapping and maybe other folks will show up as well. We'll see. And we're going to check out the Grand Central Terminal light show as well as the Holiday Market and do a little sightseeing and shopping. I think we're also going to hit S'mac too, as it's tasty and Mom's been wanting to check it out. The main reason they're coming is for TARCON on Sunday, which will be fun, but I'm mostly excited to have them around for holiday fun time.

The Christmas Dork is in full effect!

How Well Do You Know Me?

2006-12-07T23:24:00.000-05:00

You have to sign up to have your score posted, unfortunately. But you can take it for fun if you want.

Create your own friendquiz here

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T02:31:00.001-05:00

I just had a lovely Thanksgiving at Charlotte's house with Muffy, Steph, Vader and a friend of Charlotte's. The Erogenous Vulcan even stopped by for a bit.

I love Thanksgiving with my family. I love my folks and we have all sorts of fun traditions. And we always take in an orphan or two who has nowhere else to go for the holiday. So the conversation is often fun and interesting. But since I couldn't be with my family, this was just as good. We all brought different family recipes (stuffing, corn casserole, green bean casserole), Charlotte handled the bird and Steph brought all sorts of good wine. We chatted and laughed and cooked and drank and had a great time for about 12 hours.

And so, I'm very, very Thankful to have all these wonderful friends in my life. People who are almost as much a part of my family as my parents. It's good to have people you love and are comfortable with and can just have an easy happiness with.

My Trendy Hair

2006-11-22T10:00:00.000-05:00

A few years ago Sheena told me about the Bumble & Bumble Model Project where they'll cut your hair for free. It's not a beauty school thing like my Mom originally thought. Bumble & Bumble has signature hairstyles and cuts and teaches them to their satellite salons who sell their products; while teaching them ways to use and push their products. So everyone in the class has at least two years of hair experience, and lots of instructors are wandering around, um, instructing. It's not a huge hair risk to do the model project. So, I figured I'd been rocking the straight all one-length hair for about two decades now and I could stand something new. So I went ahead and did it and have been sporting sassy layers every since.

B&B also offers styling sessions too for the hair models. I'd never gone for those as all the appointments are 2-3 hours long and during the work day. But a few days after getting laid off I got an email with the April styling session schedule and figured what the hell. You get credit towards their products and a free shampoo and style so why not. And it's been fun. I've got a ton of shampoo stored up now as well as other products floating around the house. Maggie is VERY amused that I now actually do things to my hair beyond washing and brushing. Not that I do much more than that, but still, it's a little more. Since I have products to use and all.

Anyway, yesterday I was there for a round brush blow dry and they announced that Reader's Digest was there doing an article on the Model Project and a photographer would be wandering around taking photos. Heh. I know no one who gets Reader's Digest (y'all don't anymore, do you, Mom?), but it amuses me that a magazine considered to be for the older and more bland reader is doing an article on a place that considers itself rather fancy and shi shi. But, there you go.

Oh, and no one took my picture, but the chick next to me had a ton taken of her so maybe I'll be in the background somewhere. If anyone gets RD, keep an eye out for me. I was wearing red.

Happy Halloween! again

2006-10-31T18:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm now hiding in my apartment with the lights off as I have run out of candy. I had an OBSCENE amount of candy and yet it is all gone. I think we're a very popular block. In fact, I heard at least one parent tonight say that this block was the best one. There were lots of folks out in front of their brownstones on my street. I even saw flashes of a strobe light and heard spooky noises down a ways, so some folks were getting fancy.

I was not fancy. I DID put my flamingo in his witch costume and stuck him in the planter out in my front courtyard. And I tossed a sarong around my waist, threw on a silk flower lei and my flip flops to pass for a costume. One girl actually told me she liked my costume. Another told me she was from Hawai'i. Of course, I didn't look like I was from Hawai'i. I looked like a frat boy at a luau kegger. But, whatever works.

There were all sorts of kids and parents out tonight. Way too many parents were yakking on their cell phones instead of talking to their kids for my taste, but I'm into parental bonding. There were plenty of parents following along doing the "What do you say?" "Trick or Treat!" "Now what do you say?" "Thank You." routine that I love. And a few kids wanted to pick and choose their candy. Which seemed a bit much to me. Well, except one kid who couldn't eat nuts. Poor thing must have had to tell that to every house he hit. And one cute little boy dressed as a ninja got a mini-nerds and a mini-chocolate bar from me but gave back the mini-chocolate bar as he couldn't eat chocolate. How cute. He was very sweet and polite about it. So I gave him a mini-lollipop.

I love Halloween. It's not my favorite holiday, but a it's good one when I can hand out candy to cute kids. And even not so cute kids. And even not so much kids. Still fun.

My Mom was always great about costumes for me when I was a kid and was still trick or treating. I think I started out as a witch, at least as far back as my memory goes. Who knows what tortures were inflicted upon me as a baby. Eventually I wanted to look "pretty" for Halloween and Mom came through with a darling princess costume. The dress was nice enough but I LOVED the hat. It was conical and best of all had a gauzy piece of fabric draping down from it. So princessy. Back before my tiara obsession had kicked in.

One year, I think I told my mother I wanted to be a Twix bar. I am not really sure why. Maybe Mom came up with the idea. Either way, the woman put in some effort with that costume, finding the perfect metallic material, carefully stenciling on the orange letters and sewing it all together. She even put a patch on the back with 35 cents written on it to serve as a price tag. But I wore that costume for several years, and towards the end of its life the price tag was hitting me right on my butt. And in the fifth grade or so, boys would come up to me with 35 cents in their hands. Took me a little while to figure it out. Bad little boys!

I believe it was sixth grade when I fell in love with Gone With the Wind and asked Mom to make me a Southern Belle for Halloween. Of course she did it. I'm still not totally sure how. I know she got an old prom dress from the Air Force Base Thrift Shop and altered it to fit me. And I know at one point she was trying to make the hoop from several wire hangers twisted together. I think she may have ended up sewing something kind of pipe into the hem to make a hoop. Whatever it was, it worked beautifully and I LOVED that dress. She even took the extra fabric to make me a pretty little bag for the candy and an eye mask on a stick. I was so fancy. All lacy and ruffled with curls in my hair. The only draw back was when the boys realized they could drop to the ground, roll under my dress and I couldn't do a thing about it. I tried sitting to stop them, but then the skirt just flew up in the air and I flashed everyone. Boys try and ruin all the best Halloween costumes. Bad little boys!

Thanks, Mom, for all those great costumes. So much better than the goofy ones I do these days; The Country Music Awards, Cher Impersonator, Frat Boy at Luau Kegger... Maybe you'll do my costume for next year?

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T11:45:00.000-05:00

So, I just bought a metric fuckload of Halloween Candy. And Brooklyn kids (you know, like country kids) are super cute. So, if anyone in the NYC area wants to blow off work early this afternoon and come hand out candy with me & the flamingo, please do. It's more fun with more people. And maybe we can even make orange drinks!

Iwo Jima

2006-10-18T01:30:00.000-04:00

So, I recently started reading Flags of our Fathers. The ads for the movie have sort of reminded me of my interest in Iwo Jima. I mentioned something about the book when I was in Raleigh with my Dad and he said he liked it. Though he said he liked Flyboys better. So, I bought both books and am starting with Flags.

Back in the Spring of 1995 my then boyfriend and I were trying to get to Honolulu for Spring Break with my folks. This was before Continental started its Newark to Honolulu direct flight so we had to go through Houston or California. Getting to California was a piece of cake for standby passengers (back when I was a dependant and could fly for cheap all the time), but getting from LA or San Fran to Honolulu was a nightmare. After trying for a couple of days to get out of LA my Dad hit town to fly a charter flight from LA to Honolulu. The policy is to not allow standby passengers on charter flights, but Dad asked one of the organizers if it was okay if his kid and her boyfriend could get on the flight in any open seats (with our promise we'd be the most polite and well-behaved travelers ever). The group kindly allowed us on.

The charter was for marines, veterans, going back to Iwo Jima for the 50th Anniversary. My boyfriend and I weren't seated next to each other, but I got to sit next to a lovely man named Milt. And it was probably one of the best flights I've ever had. He was a sweet guy and offered to be an adopted grandfather of sorts if I wanted. He had a video camera and filmed me. At one point they opened the cockpit and allowed the guys to chat with the pilots so he filmed my dad. He filmed my boyfriend and the flight attendants and the movie screen showing the flight stats. We exchanged addresses and kept in touch for a little bit. He even sent me a copy of the tape he'd made. With the flight. And then with the ceremonies on Iwo Jima.

At the time I didn't really know much about Iwo Jima. History wasn't a strong subject for me back then, much my to my father's dismay I suspect. But these were interesting guys on this plane. And the battle seemed to bring back powerful memories for them. And then the more I heard about it, the more it fascinated me. The large number of casualties. The large number of American soldiers, the hold the Japanese had on the island. The battle strategy. Just amazing to me. But beyond watching Milt's tape and the occasional quick internet search I didn't really do too much to find out more. And I want to.

So, for now I'm reading Flags. And rewatching Milt's tape again knowing more about the battle than I did back when I first saw it. And while I'm liking the book, I'd like to read more. I'd like to read something that looks more at the battle as a whole, as Flags focuses more on the six individuals in that famous photograph. They certainly deserve their stories told. But so do all the other men who were on that island and involved in that battle. Let me know if you have any book suggestions. Or if you ever want to watch Milt's tape of the trip back and the ceremonies. It's a home movie, not some fancy edited documentary. But I'm glad I have a copy. And like most people who've become a part of my life, I'm glad I got to meet Milt.

Turnip Comes to Town: Day Five

2006-10-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

On Saturday we dragged our asses out of bed and headed out for a nice long walk. Turnip and I are both trying to get into better shape so I told her she and I would have to walk to and over the Brooklyn Bridge while she was here. Which is what we did on Saturday. And it was lovely. It was GORGEOUS fall day with a clear blue sky, bright sunshine and weather that was perfect for walking around in the sun. We made it to the bridge and over into Manhattan and back without too much fuss. And all the while taking pictures of the bridge and various skylines and each other, like the big dorks we are. One woman stopped us as we were almost to the bridge and asked if we were walking. She seemed nice so we bit back the smartass responses and said yes. She wanted to know if we'd be up for being walking buddies with her as she was looking for someone to exercise with. Turnip lives in LA so she couldn't. I would've liked to, but my walking & Y schedule depends on what else is going on with me and is hardly regular so I said no. Though maybe a walking buddy would've gotten me out more. Who knows. Too late now. Alas.

After that we hit Bagel World and then tried to make another Yoga class but didn't manage it in time. So, Turnip ran some errands and then we went to get our nails done. Which ended up taking far longer than it should have. After that we headed home to get her ready for her wedding and then she headed off for the NYBG.

She came home after I was in bed and then headed to the airport very early Sunday morning. A lovely visit, but exhausting. So I spent the rest of Sunday just being a slug for the most part. Relaxing.

Turnip Comes to Town: Day Four

2006-10-15T23:40:00.000-04:00

Friday we got up and headed to Park Slope for breakfast with Turnip's friends from Wednesday night. And that was lovely. Good food and nice people and all. Plus it was a lovely fall day.

After that we headed back to my 'hood for our treatments. Turnip wanted to be all waxed and sexy for her wedding on Saturday so she scheduled that. I figured I'd so something as well. Since I don't have enough hair to make ripping it out worthwhile I went for a massage and scalp treatment. And it was awesome. An hour and a half of massage and scalp massage plus soft & pretty hair. I think I'm going to have to do that more often. Maybe Muffy & I need a mini spa day soon.

After that we got all dolled up and headed to Macy's to buy complicated underwear to go under Turnip's halter dress for the wedding on Saturday. Complicated underwear shopping always seems to be an ugly process. It's not like buying fun undies, the pretty & sexy stuff. This has a purpose (beyond getting one laid) and is usually a pain to get into and out of and just sucks. But we found something fairly quickly and headed to Lush to treat ourselves to fun smelly stuff. And then met JCN downtown to try out s'mac. And s'mac was GOOD. So good. Heavenly. We split four smalls so we could try more things. Manchego, Goat Cheese, Gruyere (I didn't get any of that as it had bacon) and 4-Cheese. Happy, happy.

After that it was off to the West Village for drinks with a few of my friends and a few of hers. We met at Corner Bistro, but it was packed so we wanted to head for a dead bar to just be comfy and drink beer. The one we picked ended up not being so dead in the end, but we got some seats, had some beer and a good time was had. By all, I think.

Turnip Comes to Town: Day Three

2006-10-15T19:20:00.000-04:00

Thursday was a mellow day. We headed to the Y to take a Yoga class. Turnip is a big fan of Yoga and I've always kind of avoided it. But she wants me to try it so I figured I would. Sadly we had the times wrong and missed the start of class. So we hit the machines, worked up a sweat and then headed home where she did some work and I futzed around the apartment. She headed out that night for dinner and drinks but I decided to stay in and clear some TiVo, pay bills, answer emails... wildly sexy stuff like that.

Turnip Comes to Town: Day Two

2006-10-15T19:00:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, Turnip and I got up and walked to the Brooklyn Promenade to check out the view and get some exercise. Then we treated ourselves to Bagel World deliciousness. We needed to fortify ourselves before heading to Queens in the afternoon to prove our love and devotion to Pumpkin. She's trying to decide on bridesmaids' dresses so we headed out to David's Bridal to try on everything we could fit into and take photos for her. So she can have a better idea of what to put us in. There is a lot of horrible stuff out there for bridesmaids, but we saw some things that weren't so bad. And Pumpkin claims that our efforts were helpful. Of course, she's also threatening to put butt bows on us so lord knows. But, she's the bride, so butt bow be damned, I'll wear what she tells me and smile about it. I think it's in the contract you sign when you agree to be a bridesmaid. Along with a bunch of other things Pumpkin claims I'm now bound to do. Though I am starting to suspect she's making some of those things up.

After a couple of hours of taffeta and satin and zippers and snaps and petticoats we headed to the other less dismal shopping plaza across the street and treated ourselves to cute things from Old Navy, like old man boxers and soft tops. Of course, when we left the Old Navy the skies had opened and drenched us on our walk to the train. And drenched us some more on our walk from the train to Caffe Carciofo for dinner. Though the rain & puddles reflecting the street lights was kind of pretty once we were inside with tea and steamed artichoke and pasta and bread.

After dinner we headed home to dry off and warm up before hitting (don't click the link, Daddy) Toys in Babeland (now called just Babeland, I think) for a little shopping. After which we met up with two of Turnip's friends at the Slipper Room for a little burlesque and music. Her friend is a burlesque dancer these days and that seemed the best way to see her and her husband. I didn't really dig the band, though they weren't bad or anything. But the go go dancing and burlesque was more fun than I thought it would be. Though none of the dancers were my friends. Turnip might have a different take on the performance. Judging by the dancers there and one we saw at Forty Deuce in Vegas I'm thinking burlesque dancers these days are a little less well-endowed than the ones of days of yore. Not that I'm any kind of burlesque expert or anything.

After that we headed home to crash and hide from the rain. Wild times. Petticoats, boobies and vibrators all in one day. You want my rock star life. Don't lie.

Turnip Comes to Town: Day One

2006-10-13T16:35:00.000-04:00

So, Turnip hit town this week. She had a gig on Monday for a Rod Stewart show and then has a wedding on Saturday and figured she'd stay with me the time in between. It's been a fun and exhausting time so far.

Monday night I had dinner in the West Village with some friends and then made a few of them have drinks with me while waiting for Kristie's show to end. She joined us at the White Horse for a drink and then we headed to her hotel room to gossip and then crash.

Tuesday we got up, checked out and had some breakfast. Then we headed to my place to dump her bags and laze around for a bit before running some errands. We wandered the 'hood some making appointments for Friday, doing a little costume jewelry shopping and scoping out where we wanted mani/pedis later in the week. Then a very late lunch before heading home to loaf and get pretty.

Tuesday night we met a couple of her college friends for Indian food, which was lovely and entertaining. And then we wanted a drink so headed over to The Stoned Crow. While Pumpkin and Spanky claim I never take them anywhere else to drink when they visit New York (not that either of them have visited me in years), Turnip had never been. We just had a couple drinks. None of the bartenders I knew (and lusted after) once upon a time were there and the place had more of an NYU vibe than a neighborhood bar vibe. They didn't even have nachos on the menu anymore. It all made me a little sad, but we had our drinks and chatted and it was nice. And now Turnip can say she's been to the Crow. After that, we headed home to crash.

Smooch

2006-10-08T14:20:00.000-04:00

So... I was recently informed that back in the 10th grade I was not a very good kisser. If you know me, you can only imagine how well I took this news. For those who don't know me, I don't like my skills questioned. At all. Luckily the person criticizing my 15 year old lip locking abilities continued on to say that my skills improved greatly and now I am a phenomenal kisser. So this person was not maimed. And might actually get to kiss me again some day. Maybe. Though I'm still agonizing over the idea that I was not a fabulous kisser in my early days.

But, Daddy, the only thing I do with boys is kiss. Just so you know!

Let's go Yankees!

2006-06-22T19:15:00.000-04:00

So, before heading to Shea I wandered around my neighborhood trying to scope out the new restaurants and the Spiderman 3 shoot. Looks like they might be setting up for a night shot. When I was walking down Court they were putting up some fake Tae Kwon Do sign next to the Cobble Hill Cinema and possibly mocking up the Cobble Hill Cinema sign. I went back after the game and they had changed the Cobble Hill sign to say Styuvesant Cinema. I couldn't tell if the TKD sign was up. But it looks like that little corner is the only place they're prepping to shoot and everything else is just for set up. Which is impressive. They're taking up a hell of a lot of the neighborhood just for one corner. Lights and cables and shit everywhere. And I haven't seen any trailers or anything yet. Just equipment. Though there were signs for catering pointing towards Clinton or Henry or some such. I didn't explore all that much. Too bad I'm not sticking around to watch tonight. Ah well, I'll check it out in the theater.

Today The Senator and I went to my first game in Shea Stadium. I'm not a Mets fan at all but I figured I should see Shea at some point since I love baseball and love New York. It's not the greatest stadium, but I'm glad I went. They have a mascot (which I used to wish the Yankees had but am now glad they don't) and an apple in a hat that slowly rises whenever the Mets hit a homerun. I like the Durham Bull better, but still, fun in a cheesy sorta way. The Senator thinks it's a dump, but I didn't think it was that bad. But I'm not going to be sad when they finally build a new one. Though I suppose the new one will be all orangey too. What's with New York teams and orange?

The game itself was fun. Pedro pitched. While I can't deny his talent, I'm not so fond of him. And for not being fond of him or the teams he's played for, I've seen him pitch quite a bit. The Mets won, upsetting the Senator. But really, the Reds were crap on the field and the Mets do seem to be having a good season. Still, I wasn't so into the game not being invested in either team. Which meant I could just chill and drink beer and hang with a friend on a lovely day while everyone else I knew was at work. And now I can say I've seen Shea Stadium. And never have to go back.

Go Sherill!

2006-06-22T00:30:00.001-04:00

Tonight Lovey took Vader and I to a Liberty game. I'd been wanting to get to a WNBA game for a while now so when Lovey asked if I was into it for tonight I jumped at the chance. Apparently Sherill Baker is an old family friend of the Lovey clan and can get Beverly tickets from time to time. So we went and had a fabulous time. The seats were great, the game was exciting, Sherill didn't play enough for our tastes but had some good moves, the fans were fun and I really, really want to go back. Lovey loves basketball and thinks Sherill rocks so she's totally got into the team and dragged us all to the team store for a little shopping after the game. She got the Musical Genius a #10 t-shirt and I was weak and got myself one as well. So, you know, I can have something to wear for the next game. After that we headed to the green room to wait for Sherill to pop by. Vader and I got to meet her and she's just the nicest person. We also met a friend she played ball with in college who's in town for a bit. Actually, she blew out her knee and can't play ball any more (the friend, Sherill is fine) and is thinking of law school. But before she goes she's looking for legal assistant jobs (willing to relocate anywhere) to take a break between undergrad and grad and to check out life at a firm before applying to school. So, if any of you lawyer types out there are willing to talk to her or give her suggestions or help looking for jobs, let me know and I'll pass your info on to her.

Anyway, I had a great time and think I might become a Liberty fan. Woo. And watching Vader and Lovey geek out like total fan girls was excellent. Vader may betray Lovey's Baker love and pick #20 Christon as her favorite though.

In other news, tomorrow Spiderman 3 will be spending some time shooting in my 'hood. I'm going to be out and about a lot tomorrow and then am heading out of town that night, but I may spend a little bit of time poking around to see what I can see. Though one of the blocked off streets is on my own little block so I might not have to go far to see anything. And while Mom and I were poking around looking into the Spiderman thing we learned that LOTS of new things have been going on in the area so maybe I'll just go for a nice little walk tomorrow to check it all out.

I guess this means I have to finally watch Spiderman 1 & 2 so I can go see #3 and squeal when I see my 'hood. And I totally will. You should've seen me towards the end of American Psycho when my 'hood and even apartment building showed up. Just ask B. I think the squealing and pointing when Greenwich Street appeared upset the woman a few rows in front of us much more than all my earlier laughing did (dude, it's a funny movie).

Life of the Unemployed

2006-06-20T23:15:00.000-04:00

Today I got my hair done again and then went off to meet Lovey so we could walk over to Madison & 49th and check out the Meow Mix House. I'm thinking that I really might need a job soon if this is how I'm filling my days. But man, those cats were super cute. Muppet was going to go with us but had a 4PM meeting. I think looking at cats in a store front was the much better choice.

Still Happy Birthday to Me

2006-06-19T23:45:00.001-04:00

I had a lovely birthday. With the unemployed state and total flux of my life right now I wasn't really feeling into my birthday. Wasn't feeling the urge to plan a massive birthday week or crown myself Princess of Everything or whatever. My folks have been asking me what I want for a gift and I couldn't think of anything beyond rent money. I feel weird asking for birthday gifts when I'm trying hard not to spend lots of money these days. But, I knew I had to do something or I'd be very angry with myself later.

Saturday I had a party in the backyard. It was a pretty mellow thing, but great. Vader came by early to help with last minute cleaning and such. Then other folks started showing up. And with lovely gifts too. Because people spoil me. And think I'm a trashy princess since some of the gifts were booze and bath products and even a set of sassy stripper pole glasses. Hee. And of course the fancy girl air conditioner.

But it was a good time. Enough food and beer and wine for all. And dill dip. Which Beverly brought. And every time I said Lovey was bringing dill dip people thought I was going to say dildo. Leading to people laughing too much at the words dill dip all night. I manned the grill some but didn't have to do it the whole damn party like last year. So that was nice. Also, since only about 10 or 11 folks came I didn't feel like I was answering the door or hostessing as much and could sit and talk and hang out. Vader, Iolanthe, Charlotte, Britney & Kevin, Bambi, Muppet & Mr. Muppet, Lovey & the Musical Genius and Steph all came. So, a good crew. With lots of joking around, trash talking and mocking of me. Vader brought up the stuffed animal of an ex that I spent a good deal of time mending which amused those who were not aware of my good girlfriend homemaker abilities. And then at one point gynecologists came up and I said something about a tiny pink bagel. A few folks hadn't heard the tiny pink bagel story so I started it. At which point Steph giggled and said, "Ah, Amanda's vagina stories." And I actually do have a collection of vagina stories. Which is a little mortifying. But not mortifying enough that I didn't actually share all of them with the die hard folks who were still around later in the evening. It was a really nice night and I'm glad I decided to do the party thing.

Sunday was a day of Steph. We had brunch, got the AC, installed the AC, watched X-Men 3 and had way too much popcorn. Excellent Birthday Sunday.

And then today Sheena made me come into Manhattan and bought me lunch. I grabbed coffee with Lovey after that and ran into a bunch of folks from the old office which was nice. Everyone seems concerned about me and all that, a good feeling knowing that people do give a rat's ass. On Saturday, Vader insisted I couldn't be alone on my birthday night so she brought piña colada mix over tonight and we had piña coladas in the porch swing before heading to Sweet Melissa's for dinner and chocolate souffle cake. And of course lots of chatting and gossiping and eventual drunken babbling as the piña coladas were rather strong.

And then lots of emails and phone calls and such all day from friends and family. So, lots of Birthday Princess attention.

All in all a good Birthday Weekend. I have a lot of fabulous friends and family and am very, very lucky. And very, very old.

Happy Birthday To Me!!

2006-06-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

I'm just getting older and older and older.

Shouldn't I be married with kids and a career and stuff right now? Not jobless and looking for a short term gig so I can go back to school? What are most 32 year olds doing these days?

I Feel So Fancy

2006-06-18T21:45:00.000-04:00

Just two weeks shy of my 10 year anniversary of moving to New York I'm now the proud owner of an air conditioner. I feel a little extravagant. I was kind of proud of being a bad ass (idiot?) who whethered ten air conditioner free summers in the City. And now I am weak. And I suspect in a matter of days I'll be all, "What was I thinking?!?!?" having not gotten one earlier. Actually it's been lovely today enjoying it in the 90 degree heat in Brooklyn. Though I do keep inching the temp up higher and higher so I feel less extravagant. Heh.

Muffy & Steph decided I needed one as a birthday gift and so Steph and I went out and got one and then he installed it. And it's lovely. And they are darling, darling people. So good to me. And now I can't complain that I'm too hot to job search next week. Alas. I also won't have to go home with cute boys because they have air conditioning (kidding, Daddy, I would NEVER do that).

Happy Mother's Day to Me

2006-05-14T12:12:00.000-04:00

My parents just went into the bathroom together. I'm so freaked out I'm screaming. ACK!!!!!!

YMCA

2006-03-25T08:46:00.000-05:00

Oh, since I'm going to the Y all the time in the near future I figure I need to beef up my working out playlist. So, any of y'all have good workout song suggestions? Let me know!

Day Three

2006-03-24T23:30:00.000-05:00

Well, Day Three was the one where I woke up feeling scared. I know this is a great opportunity for me and all that, but I woke up this morning feeling like I was a total failure and would never find work again. And I felt terrified about being in the job market again for the first time in almost a decade. Not a fun feeling.

But I woke up and putzed around and decided to hit the Y. I figure if I have some down time I'm going to learn when the best times are to go, the best classes for me to take and thus have one hell of an ass by the time I'm back to work. They have an insane amount of pilates classes and some goofy looking fun things with the words urban, abs, belly dancing, rebounding, sculpt, kardio and such for me to try. Plus, I think next week I need to stop being a pussy about weights. So, that was something. Felt good to be doing something productive.

Then I got home, showered, chatted with Maggie & Turnip and got myself ready to head back to the office. I was meeting Muppet for lunch. When we made the plans on Wednesday it seemed like a good idea. But as I was standing on the train platform waiting for my lovely F train and following the same exact commute that was no longer mine (knowing exactly what car to be in for my 48th street exit, knowing how long it will take, etc) I thought that I must be the stupidest person who ever lived because how could I be ready to be back there. And it was hard. Riding the train. Making the walk from the train to the building and then standing there outside the building. But I called Muppet and she came out. And Lovey came out. And it started to not feel so bad. And a couple coworkers walked by to say hi and I got a hug. I also learned management was claiming that everyone who got laid off on Wednesday had interviews lined up with other departments in the firm but I certainly do not. It's annoying they didn't line up interviews for me as they apparently did with others, but I also know I don't want this same kind of job so it's not the end of the world, but still. Maybe I'll call and shoot them my resume just in case.

Anyway, Lovey went back upstairs and Muppet and I had a nice lunch. I still obsess about this layoff and apologies to anyone seeing me for the next week or two because you'll hear about it lots. But Muppet and I were able to talk about other things too. And that was nice for me and it made me happy to know I could talk about other things.

After lunch Muppet went up and Lovey came down for coffee. I think they're all going to be just fine without me, unfortunately. So that was annoying to hear. Though I am actually happy about that for Lovey & Sheena's sakes. Because while I want things to suck without me I know that they'll be the ones to get the brunt of it and I don't actually want that. But it was good to see her. She and Sheena and the majority of my bosses were all at meetings or out when it happened and I hadn't gotten to see and say goodbye to anyone but Muppet and Monkey Man. So it was good to get a little closure. And to see her. And catch up a little with her and know that while I will no longer see her every day and know all the little details of her life we still have good reason to be friends and make time to be together.

And after she went up Sheena came down to say hi & bye. And I got my first ever hug from her. Which is sort of an in joke with us. But yeah, nice to have more closure. And she had a couple more stories about people who missed me. Our supply guy has been mopey and the mail guy (a story for later I think because I have such a crush) too. And the main editor we work with apparently was shocked and said that was so odd because I'm a model employee or something like that. I told her to keep those stories coming because they help.

I headed back home feeling really good. I'm glad I went because now I know I can. And when I head back to sign my papers and drop off the last of the company stuff I have in a couple of weeks, I know it won't freak me out beyond reason. So that was nice.

Then I got to have an amazing afternoon chat with Tangerine and vent a little and catch up with her. She said she'd try to be online more in the afternoons so another plus will be catching up with her. So, I might miss more daily details of Lovey's life but then get more of Tangerine's It all balances out somehow.

After all that I decided I wanted to sit on my butt watching TV and all which I haven't really done yet. And Muffy decided to join me. So we talked about her crap day and my crap week and had pizza and watched a couple episodes of Firefly wondering when in the series Nathan Fillion's pants get properly tight and having a really nice Friday night.

Day Two Part Two

2006-03-23T23:00:00.001-05:00

So, Vader said I had to have margaritas. So I just had margaritas. And after a couple of margaritas and a little dinner Vader told the waitress I had been laid off. And the waitress brought us shots, because you need margaritas AND shots when you've been laid off. Who knew? Well, Fishboy did. He said getting drunk is something one must do after being laid off. He is wise. And now I am drunk blogging. MARGARITAS!!!!!

Again all of my friends Rock. Steph bought me lunch at the Chip Shop (deep fat fried peanut butter cups are mana from Heaven) and then because it was a gorgeous day we wandered along the Brooklyn promenade for a while. At one point Tangerine left me a delightful voicemail telling me the man sucks I am fabulous and if I need to come to DC or have her come up here to just let her know. My friends are so cool.

And then Vader came over for some watching of last night's Veronica Mars and then... well... MARGARITAS!!!! Also, apparently she told her whole office about my plight and they are just disgusted and cannot believe that they would lay me off. Hee. Good times.

And I think Lovey is still on jury duty so keep your fingers crossed that the Friday report is a disaster tomorrow. Though Sheena is very clever so she'll probably do it just fine and then they'll feel all justified about laying me off. Bastards. Maybe I need more Margaritas. I think I have tequila somewhere in this apartment...

Day Two

2006-03-23T10:00:00.001-05:00

Well, it totally feels odd to have not gotten up early this morning to get dressed and follow the commute I've followed for years. It does NOT feel like a sick day. It feels like an unemployed day. So odd. Everyone is at work right now going about their business without me. And because I am small and petty I hope it's not an easy day for them. Heh.

I had dinner with Muppet and Bambi last night which was great. Nice to be able to piss and moan about it a lot but also nice to have folks around to talk about other stuff too. They were wonderful at being a good balance of that. Plus, we were at chat 'n chew so I got a belly full of grease. Who does NOT love onion ribbons? Really. So good. Also, it seems that I might be winning the prize for most shock inducing layoff. Even more than one whole team that was eliminated. Apparently everyone was shocked and surprised and at one point there was even a conversation about how much money the firm will lose for the first six months in lost productivity. How awesome is that? It still sucks to be laid off and have the world go on without you, but it's nice to know I'll be missed. It's nice to know that all the hard work and ideas I brought to that job didn't go unnoticed. My boss even called and said something about how my contributions to him and to the group weren't always appreciated but he really did appreciate everything I did to help him and the team. So, that, and my severance package, are helping to soften all this considerably.

Plus, everyone I know is so awesome. I'm getting lots of advice, offers from people to use their contacts, offers to hang or talk or anything like that. Steph and I might do lunch today. Monkey Man and I are hanging this weekend. Muffy and I are supposed to hang this weekend and she offered even more weekend time even though she's a crazed med student in the middle of rotations. Vader and I have plans for tonight. Mom is calling, family is sending concerned emails, Fishboy emailed me, Pumpkin left a voicemail, Turnip and Maggie are doing lots of Instant Message chatting and support, Lovey & Sheen are calling to fill me in about work and how upset they are about me leaving because they like me AND because all the work they'll now have to do. Lots of stuff like that. It's great to have such a nice support network at times like this.

Now I'm debating TV and cheetos or going to the gym. Hmmmm...

Canned by The Man

2006-03-22T15:00:00.000-05:00

Today I got laid off. And, it kinda sucks in a way. I know it's not something I can take personally like a firing, but it still feels like rejection. Plus, I haven't been unemployed in forever. I have to find a job now. I don't have any kind of security. Financially I am not prepared for this with too little savings and too much debt (much like almost everyone else in the world). And my routine and a HUGE part of my life totally changed today. Even though no one else's did. So it's weird. And I kinda want to cry. But I haven't yet. I'm sure I will. But not yet.

But, this is also probably the best case scenario for me. I hated my job. I hated it for years and years. I just never got my shit together enough to go out and find another job. They gave me a small severance package, so I have a little cushion before I'm out on the street. I can take some time to really look for something I might enjoy. And that's such a good thing for me. This is a kick in the pants I need. And I just need to really take advantage of it. It also helps that I have awesome people. Mom has really been there for me. And so many people came and hung out with me between being escorted out of the building (gotta love The Man) and my appointment with my reading buddy. And lots of folks have already called to offer any help they can and to see if I'm okay. Muppet's got a spare room if it comes to that (and she knows the cats and I are a package deal). It's going to be okay. I just have to get over the initial shock and the dread of how much of a pain in the ass it's going to be to find a job. And I think I can do that.

But if y'all know of any jobs out there that I'd be great for, let me know!!!!

Upcoming Performances in New York (not by me)

2006-03-15T18:15:00.000-05:00

My cousin (son of my Dad's cousin) is going to be in New York this weekend performing with his jazz band at Fat Cat (opening for the Ari Hoenig Trio) if y'all want to check it out. Mom and I will go to one of the performances but aren't sure which yet. I'll leave something in the comments when we decide, in case you want to join us. But feel free to go either night on your own.
Update: It looks like we're going on Friday.

Rock Star Fran always has shows coming up. Schwervon is performing on March 18th at Galapagos and then she'll be solo at Cakeshop on March 27th. I think I'll try to make that one. Schwervon's CD release party should be June 2nd at Cakeshop. I definitely plan to be at that. And while I was looking at the store to see if I was missing any Fran CDs I noticed they have Schwervon t-shirts for sale. I'm soooo getting one.

And speaking of Galapagos... I'm planning on going to see Point Break Live on April 2 (along with Muppet, Lovey & others) and am totally psyched about it. You should join us.

Lovey is performing in a benefit on April 10 and singing a song in a performance in June as well as doing her own recital on June 6. I will be at the benefit, the recital and one of the 8 performances of "Celebrate Good Times (Macbeth)" though I don't know which one yet. But you should feel free to come and support her at any or all of these performances.

Muppet's dance group has been added to the roster of resident artists at Galapagos in Williamsburg and will be having their own benefit in June. Hopefully not on the 6th.

Since I have so many friends involved in performances and activities in New York I'm thinking of making this semi-regular so if you have anything coming up that you want me to mention, let me know.

Oh yeah

2006-03-15T10:20:00.000-05:00

So, Saturday night I saw a Jason Voorhees stripper. Yeah, y'all want my rock star life.

And then after the stripper I got into about four or five different conversations with different people about strippers. Male strippers vs. female strippers. How it's hot when female strippers work the pole but gross when male strippers work the pole. Male revues vs. the lone male stripper coming to your house for a bachelor/bachelorette party. How female strippers have the foxy plastic (lucite!) footwear but male strippers wear sneakers or boots. How Heidi Fleiss is opening up a male bordello for girls in Nevada. How you can touch all you want with male strippers but will lose a hand if you touch female strippers. How a girl almost never has to pay for her own lap dance in a female strip club. Male strippers for guys vs. male strippers for girls. At one point I turned to a guy I was in one of these conversations with and said, "not that I'm a stripper expert or anything." And while this is true (Daddy, I am NOT a stripper expert) I realized I'd been talking about them for about 15-20 minutes with just this one person. I am such trash. My mama must be so embarrassed.

Family (blog as therapy)

2006-03-07T11:00:00.000-05:00

I just had a wonderful weekend visit with my parents. They arrived on Thursday and I took the afternoon off so I could be home when they arrived and so we could spend a little time together. We didn't really do anything exciting. Sat around chatting and watching crap on TiVo. Mom wanted Jake's so we ordered that and just chilled. Mom sacked out early and Dad couldn't even make it to 11PM so I had one of my earliest bedtimes in a while.

On Friday Dad was up early and walked me to the subway while he went off to get coffee and scones. He wanted to check out the place where Peter Braunstein was reportedly spotted. Though I think that spotting turned out to be wrong because he was someplace else at the time. But Dad likes to see my neighborhood places that he sees in the media. After that they did little chores around my house, popped by Jacques Torres and watched TV while I worked. Friday we also wanted some mellow family time and wanted to avoid the cold so we stayed in with Buddy's Burritos and a movie. Dad got it into his head that he wanted to watch a chick flick. And somehow was stuck on the idea of Under the Tuscan Sun. I really have no idea why. I have a huge crush on Diane Lane so I was fine with the movie choice and then we found out Sandra Oh was in it so Mom was down with it. But we still thought we'd rather have Walk the Line. Sadly that was all rented out at the store. So, it was chick flick night with the family. Not the greatest movie, but I got some Diane ogling and Sandra was funny and I now have more daydream material for when I one day make it to Italy. Overall a good night. Oh, and Dad now covets the Gay & Away hats from the tour group in the movie. Poor Daddy. Let me know if you know where I can get one. Father's Day is in a few short months...

Saturday we got up and decided to have brunch. We thought Muffy might be joining us, but as she's learning to be a doctor she was up and at work before we even put on pants. Alas. We hit Banania and all got eggs of the Benedict or Florentine flavor. While there we pondered the strangeness of Banania not having pepper on a single table. But there was pepper in our Bloody Marys so we know they had it on the premises. Strange... After the feeding we headed to Barnes & Nobles to do a little book shopping and then headed into Manhattan to visit Steph at his place of work. And my folks got to experience the joy of weekend track work. Taking two trains and experiencing lots of cranky people to go about two stops. Anyway... the wine shop is a really cute little place. I liked it. And Dad ended up getting a bottle for Oscar night. So it was a good visit. And now I can tell folks I know a wine guy. So I have a wine guy, a massage guy and a real estate guy. You need any of these guys just give me a call and I'll hook you up. Heh.

After that Dad wanted to wander down to our old 'hood to see what ever became of George's. When Dad and I moved down to the financial district there weren't a ton of places to eat outside of working hours. The area was still building itself up as a residential area. But George's was just down the street and had good diner food at really cheap prices. After 9-11 we were a little worried about George's, but it survived. And when I finally paid my first visit to Ground Zero I was with my folks and we stopped at George's after. To get something to eat and also kind of ground ourselves. I really didn't take the visit well. There are so many things to say about it that I'm not ready to talk about, but one of the strongest things I felt that this was my neighborhood for two years and now it was devastated and places that were part of my almost daily life were just gone. A large part of my life for that period was just ripped away. So going to George's was, in a cheesy and corny way, very soothing. It was someplace that was the same. And that was reassuring to me. But, not long after we were there they found a crack in the building and it had to be torn down. And last we heard they didn't know what they were going to do with it. So we thought we'd wander down there and see. And it's back. It's a little fancied up. And George's now takes up two stories (making Dad a little sad about the loss of the men's salon that used to be there). But it's back. And very much like it was, really. Which was good. Because I still don't handle being down in that area well. I have yet to get through it without some tears. So, it's nice that George's is still there to help me out.

After that we hopped on the train and headed back to Brooklyn, stopping at CVS for 'a few items'* and heading home to nap and sit around. Muffy finally freed herself from work and came over that night. We headed over to Hill Diner for dinner and had a lovely time. Lots of doctor questions for Muffy and other fun conversation that would probably have bored any other four people, but not dorks like us. Then it was home for more chillin' & TV and whatnot.

Sunday we were up a little early as Mom had to be in a car to the airport at 12:30. We were thinking of doing brunch but Mom couldn't handle another brunch. So we sent Dad off to Bagel World for breakfast. And then we just putzed around talking and getting Mom ready to head off to North Carolina. Then Dad and I napped, ran errands and tidied up a bit in preparation for the Oscars. Dad hadn't watched them in years and thought we should be a little fancy about it. Well, Dad said he wanted to have a gay Oscar night, I guess in keeping with the theme of many of the movies. But Dad's kind of a goof. So we had wine and cheese and crackers and crosti and such. As well as Reese's Peanut Butter cups and Twix. And Maggie brought us a pizza because she rocks. No one else showed, but Maggie, Dad and I had a great time. Maggie was thrilled with her husband's performance at the event and I loved Jon Stewart's hosting and Dad got to ogle Jessica Alba to his heart's content. A successful night for all I think.

Monday morning we sent Dad off to Indiana and I went off to work.

And now I'm sad and really miss them. And I can't stop thinking about where they are.

Mom went off to North Carolina because my Uncle (her brother-in-law) is having a kidney removed. Well, had it removed. Yesterday. The surgery was successful. And the tumor seemed to be encased in the kidney. They didn't see anything around it. Which is good. But they won't know more until after he's recovered from the surgery and they can see what else is going on. But Mom's there helping out for a little while. And Dad went off to Indiana. He was just going for a visit, but last Wednesday we found out that my great-aunt was having surgery on Thursday to remove part of her colon. She had cancer. The surgery went well, but they found that the cancer had spread. And it wasn't good. And last night she passed away. Just one week after my other great-aunt passed away. So, it's been a rough time for the family. And I'm trying to remind myself that Mac and Jean are probably better off dying now. Jean was having a hard time doing anything anymore and Mac was in for a lot of pain with the cancer. But, it's hard anyway, even knowing that. Jean was another connection to my Nana. And she was a really wonderful woman. And I feel like I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. And Mac was my Mamaw's last remaining sister. Mamaw is now the last of the four. And I know this is so, so hard on her. They were so close. And I'm going to miss Mac as well. She was a really nice lady and made one hell of a 7-Up Salad. And I'm worried for my Uncle. I'm hoping for the best, but as Dad says, the best case scenario here is he loses a kidney. Though I do know that if that does end up being all that happens we are very, very lucky. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that.

So I'm thinking about all of that and trying not to cry at work and so I'm writing a whole long blog entry about my lovely family weekend. And now I'll probably try and work on some other projects or read something entertaining at TWoP, cause it's actually a slow day for work and I need to keep my mind occupied. You know?

*Dad likes to leave the house once a day or more. He runs to Costco or the grocery store or to do something for his car or whatever errands he can find. So when he visits me he usually runs out at least once a day to pick up 'a few items'. We often make a list of these 'few items' for him each day. It's kind of a family joke. My family has a LOT of family jokes.

It's not a Tu-mah!

2006-01-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

It's after 10 on a Friday night and I'm still at my office. Because I've been watching DVDs of American Idol and pondering song lyrics about Macroeconomics. Who wants my rock star life? You know it. At least I'm not watching Pumping Iron, right?

I know I've been lax. Thought about writing from Hawai'i but then it just seemed mean to make people jealous. Plus, I was on VACATION!!!! And then my life was taken over by song writing and American Idol. Ugh. Ah well.

Hey, y'all want to help? Anyone know any good Karaoke type songs about money? So far we've got:
9 to 5
She Works Hard for the Money
We're in the Money
Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend
Material Girl
Can't Buy Me Love
Money Money Money
Money Honey
Money (That’s What I Want)
Money Changes Everything
Money for Nothing
If You've got the Money, I've got the Time
For the Love of Money
If I Had $1,000,000
Head Like a Hole
Big Spender
Everybody’s Working for the Weekend
Pennies from Heaven
Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)
Take the Money & Run
A Poor Man’s Roses (Or a Rich Man’s Money)
Welcome to the Jungle
She Bangs

ACK!

2005-12-07T11:21:00.000-05:00

My work email is down. I feel completely lost. Unable to do anything. I really, really need a vacation.

Luckily, I have a mantra.

"I have tickets to HAWAI'I"

Fat Girl - might be boring for everyone

2005-11-14T18:00:00.000-05:00

So, the weekend before last (I think, it's all a blur), someone was telling me a story and described the woman in the story as being a fat chick. The tone of voice implied that this was a HUGE fat woman. The size of the woman was somewhat relevant to the story and I wasn't offended by it or anything. But then the person went on to describe how fat she was. "She was about this tall (gesturing) and was like [insert Amanda's exact weight here]." Huh.

Just the way he talked about her, I got the impression he sorta thought of her as much bigger than me. I didn't get the feeling that he was saying "she's as fat as you are" or anything. But, it got me thinking. So much that I don't really remember much about the story.

Stuff like that happens a lot. On two levels:

One, people talk to me about fat people in such a way that I get the impression that they think I'm not fat. Which is absurd. I totally understand that people don't think of me as a fat person first or that it's the most important thing about me to them, but come on. I'm huge. Medically considered obese. It's not like it's subtle or something. Now, I don't want everyone going around acknowledging my fat ass all the time, but I wonder about people talking about other fat people in front of me in a certain way. I don't know how I feel about it.

Two, people just have no concept of what I weigh. I think part of it is that I'm very curvy. Always have been, always will be. So, proportionally I have a tiny waist. And huge knockers. I'm not just a round fat person. And I think that throws them off in the weight guessing game. But it also makes me feel worse about my weight. Sure, it's nice that they don't seem to think I'm as fat as I am. But it also just hits home how big I am and how far I have to go and it makes me tired. And to want to sit down. With a pizza.

Just things I think about. I'm not really ready to ask friends to change their behaviors or perceptions of me, but it's something that I toss around.

And, while I'm spewing fat girl thoughts...

So, I'm dieting. For my heart. And my mother's sanity. And my desire to have more shopping options open to me. And it's going well. It's going slowly. And I keep telling myself that's good for me in the long run even though it's fucking annoying in the short term. But it's going well. The weight is going down. I'm down about 21 pounds now. Which is awesome. But...

Focusing on my weight and my eating habits and my exercise habits has made me a crazy person. I think about food & exercise all the time. I talk about it all the time. If you let me get started, woe unto you. I might never shut up. I'm sure I'm annoying the crap out of folks and I try to rein myself in, but it still seems pretty excessive.

But the worst is how fucked up my body image is now. I actually felt sexier 20 pounds ago. Right now pants that were tight a few months ago can slide off my ass without being unbuttoned. And yet, I feel huge and fat and gross and unattractive. And in the rational part of my brain I know how stupid that is. I can see with these pants how much weight I have lost. And it's awesome and excellent and not nearly enough. But I still feel like I'm a house. More so than I did before. I'm not sure how to shake that. I think it'll come with time so I'm not in a panic over it. And I'm not veering off into crazed anorexia. It's just really annoying. I liked it a lot better when I thought I was pretty. Shallow and silly as that may be, I'm happier when I feel pretty.

Frat Girl - might be boring for non Alpha Delts

2005-11-14T16:50:00.000-05:00

Just to let everyone know just how tired I am these days...

This morning I'm on the train, sitting down & zoning with my iPod, not really even feeling up to reading. And then I see a woman by the door trying to get my attention. She keeps gesturing to my shirt. After finally realizing she is talking to me I start looking down at my shirt. It doesn't seem to have a giant rip in it. It's not up around my armpits. It's not a button down or anything so it's not all unbuttoned and gaping. I'm wondering if she has a problem with my breasts or the color pink or something. But then she makes her way over to me to lean down and share with me that my shirt is on inside out AND backwards. I had no clue. I probably would not have had any clue for hours. Until Sheena stood in front of my desk to chat at me and noticed and then laughed at me. Ugh. I cannot tell you all how happy I am to be in town for the next two weekends. And then off to Boston for the annual shopping. And CT for inappropriate things (still tentative) and then Hawai'i for beach time!

This weekend was good. But strange. I was the alumni delegate to my fraternity/society's national convention. Which is both as nerdy as it sounds and yet not as nerdy as it sounds. There were lots of meetings and singing and goofiness (including a pirate a capella group I haven't the words to describe), but it was also fun with a lot of interesting people and ideas and conversations and such. And somehow, I sorta agreed to join another alumni group and signed up to do a few things. Nothing on the level of what I'm doing for the local alumni group of the Phi, but it's certainly more ammunition for my friends and family when the intervention comes.

It was a bit odd. A lot of the folks there have been involved in the Society's management since the beginning back in 1992. So there was a lot of shared history and work. Of which I had not been a part. So I felt like I was missing out on a lot of insider information. But it's still an organization of which I am a part. An organization that considers itself a family more than anything else. So I felt like a bit of an outsider and yet still part of the family. A family that embraces you as one of it's own pretty much the moment you walk in and are all "Hi, I'm [Name], [chapter], '[year]." Yeah, I know. Totally smurfy (old word, I know, but SO applicable here). But still good. And, as I learned more about things I wanted to talk about how to do things and improve upon things and all of that. As is my habit. Which gets me into trouble and causes me to not have time to sleep or clean my apartment or whatever. I did try to hold back though. And hopefully I can follow through on the things I actually agreed to do, but we'll see.

Mom and Lovey will probably hold the intervention soon and lock me up and then this will all be moot anyway. Unless of course the Phi wins in the epic battle for my soul. Hmmmmm...

This and That

2005-11-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

Dennis Rodman is very sparkly. I was exiting the subway this morning and thought to myself, "Who is that Sparkly Man being interviewed by Fox?" Dennis Rodman. Sparkly! Must be why they decided to do an outdoor interview with him in November. The indoors cannot hold his sparkle.

So, I have no voice. And I have no idea who to blame. I mean, I should probably blame myself for not sleeping and running myself ragged and opening myself up to any and all manner of nasty bugs. But... where is the fun in that. Sheena and Lovey think I should talk less and suck on cough drops more. I think they're just tired of hearing me run my mouth. So I'm going to talk more to torture them. I just hate it. Muppet says some folks find the 40-year chain smoker voice sexy, but I hate it. The tone is all weird, people can't understand me and I mainly feel like I'm just squawking at everyone. SQUAWK!!!!

And of course being sick still hasn't kept me quiet and still and home. This weekend was fun, but exhausting. Heading back to the Phi is always a little weird for me these days. I was an undergrad there and was very involved. I knew everyone and lived in the house and it was very much my space. And while I'm now still very involved and am on the alumni Board of Trustees and come back 4-6 times a year, I just don't have the same sense of My Space. I don't know everyone, they don't all know me. I don't live there (wouldn't want to live there either as I'm 31 and it's a frat house), I don't know the ins and outs anymore... But it's still the house that was a huge part of my life for three years. So I come back and I feel like it should be My Space. And it isn't. And it still throws me. Not in a bad way. Just in a "huh?" kinda way.

But it was a good time. I got to see lots of friends and meet new people. The board meetings were long and boring, but stuff was accomplished so they didn't make me cry or anything. People humored me. And mocked me. And there was a lot of talking and laughing and singing. Pumpkin's cutest dog in the world gave me lots of good lovin'. And while Mrs. Skipper was not around to girlie it up with Dr. Muffy, Pumpkin and I added two others to our circle of sparkliness with Cricket and Dancing Girl joining us in the ladies lounge for changing, glitter application, giggling, "you're so pretty"ing and clothes sharing. Good times. Maggie was off flirting with hot undergrads but got glittered later and will be dragged into shopping & changing girlie nonsense next time, I have no doubt. And hopefully Mrs. Skipper will be back in the fold then as well as she was sorely missed. I also got some good time sitting on the stairs late at night giggling with Dancing Fool and SpyGuy while watching gee_tar in all his drunken glory. And some time sitting on the new porch. I don't know. It's all kind of a blur. But I do remember that I had fun and that I didn't get nearly enough sleep. But such is the way of the Phi.

Oh Glorious Day

2005-11-02T12:10:00.000-05:00

Some of the Ed's Shirt photos have been uploaded and I got a big thumbs up from my doctor today. And I have no time to revel in it because I have so much on my to do list. So y'all enjoy Ed's Shirt and I'll go weep softly in a corner. With my lunch.

Go buy Bernankular shirts before Muppet goes insane and cuts me.

Rock Star Living is Too Exhausting for ME

2005-11-01T19:00:00.000-05:00

A coworker just canceled on a piss & moan dinner with Lovey and I tonight and I am so excited. I'm doing a happy dance right now at the though of going home, cleaning the cat box, putting on my comfy pants, heating up some soup and putting on hot water for tea. So I can snuggle down on my sofa with the kitties and the TiVo. Though I really do want to update Ed's Shirt (if you have photos of the shirt - send them to ME!!!) between now and the weekend and have to work on a couple other things so. Eh, screw it. TiVo, kitties & sofa for me.

I have been having a fabulous time though.

On Thursday Lovey and I headed up to Alice's Tea Cup for dinner. And tea. Iolanthe was going to join us but get held up by her boss and some labor strike. Poor thing. We missed her but still had a great time. The tea was divine and we ate way too much. I had tea with a vanilla caramel thing going on and Lovey went for the Christmas blend. We both ordered the fancy-pants grilled cheese. I wasn't sure if I would love it as I feared the raisins and fennel, but it was so tasty. I really got the full effect of the fennel on the first bite but then it was all good. We hadn't planned to eat as much as we did, but then we heard they had pumpkin scones. And we thought we'd share one of those while drinking tea and waiting for grilled fabulousness. And there was some excellent crÃ¨me brulee I had to get. As I'm not one to ever turn down a chance at crÃ¨me brulee. I am my mother's daughter. I hadn't realized how stuffed I was until I got onto the train and thought I might just explode. And, on top of the good food & drink, Lovey and I had excellent conversation about families and childhoods and a smidge of religion and boys. Good times. I love that we have so much in common even though in some ways we're so very different. Makes for good talking.

Friday was Halloween at the office. Lovey and I wore tiaras as a few folks in the office have nicknamed us the Princesses. We thought it appropriate. And then we went to a horrible party the department was throwing. These things are always so odd. Nerdy finance folks don't have much in the way of social skills so they don't understand small talk. So, work parties are pretty much the same thing as working. Except you're standing up. With food. And beer. And, in this case, a few folks wandering around in strange costumes. So we fled. Lovely, her sister, Muppet, Mr. Muppet and I were all supposed to hit the Chip Shop for dinner before Dr. Muffy's 30th birthday party (she's very old - "one of us" "one of us") but... it was not to be. Lovey's sister really wanted no part in anyone's birthday or Brooklyn or anything. And technology decided to bite Muppet in the ass. It affected my Friday report slightly so I stuck around the office for a while, but not nearly as long as poor Muppet.

I showed up a little grumpy at Floyd for Dr. Muffy's party but tried to shake that off. Dr. Muffy was turning 30, after all. And with Steph running to the Chip Shop for take out and Charlotte showing up as a pregnant prom queen (looking GORGEOUS) all was soon right with the world. And Dr. Muffy looked very foxy on her 30th. Which is really how you want to do that. It was a fun night. Dr. Muffy seemed to have a good time. Big D was working his Ron Burgandy schtick hard. And I got to talk to some fun folks. As well as eat fried food and drink vodka. What more could a girl ask for? Possibly a bed time earlier than 3:30AM, but I can't resist a drunk and adorable Dr. Muffy. Nor the opportunity to take ridiculous photos in a bar late at night.

Saturday I was going to get up, go for a walk, do some chores around the pad and run some errands. Oh yeah, that sooo didn't happen. Bloomberg's campaign woke me up JUST to ask me if I planned on voting for him (I'm thinking no now) but I went right back to bed and overslept by about 3 hours. Good times. So I had to scramble and get ready for Maggie's birthday brunch at Dr. Muffy & Steph's house. Maggie's friend Nano baked a cake and brought truffles and Steph did a yummy egg thing. There was salad and I think I ate about a pound of cheese. So it was a lovely brunch. That I stayed at way too long. But I was having a good time. What can I say?

I left with barely enough time to get home, shower and change for Iolanthe's Halloween Party. She's invited me to two birthday parties and a couple others and I've always had to bail at the last minute for a variety of reasons. "Sick mother" met with a lot more sympathy than "we spent longer gambling at Mohegan Sun than I thought we would" did. Anyway, since Dr. Muffy was spending the night of her 30th all quiet and snuggled with Steph I figured I MUST make this party. Big D wanted to hit a costume party and Maggie decided she wanted some party time as well so we all banded together. Which is good as Iolanthe is up in Inwood and Maggie drove us from Brooklyn to the Upper East Side to the party and back again. Not only is she fun, but she's handy!

The party was okay. They were playing some sort of drinking game called "What the Fuck?" I think I would've enjoyed it more if I had known more of the people or if I hadn't initially walked in on a question involving poo. But I had a giant glass of vodka, chatted with some fun folks, saw Lovey rock a super girl costume, Iolanthe rock green face paint like nobody's business and Maggie work a last minute Barbarella even as the dress shredded around her. Good times. My last minute, pulled out of my ass costume was that of a Red Shirt. And either folks immediately got it and laughed, or they just looked confused. This possibly makes me a nerd, yes?

We also found out just how popular Ron Burgandy was around the neighborhood. Ron interviewed quite a few young men and they alseemedmd happy to chat. Which we found very reassuring after one group of guys were able to peg which car was Maggie's while we were still almost a block a way from returning to it. Apparently the guy knows all the cars on the block and that one was a new one. But he, like everyone else, adores good ol' Ron.

After that we drove back to the Upper East Side and Maggie and I went for dinery goodness while Big D went to Karaoke up a storm. Completely in character. So I hear. I was enjoying Grilled Cheese and girl talk. After that Maggie and attempteded to enjoy some Karaoke before admitting we were worn out. Well, I did last about two songs more than Maggie before realizing that I would rather be sleeping than watching Ron get his mack on while other people sang off-key.

Not that I slept that much. I don't sleep so well in other people's beds. And Big D has a TV right there at the foot of his bed. With HBO! My TV is several feet to the right of the foot of my bed and just doesn't make TV viewing as easy. Plus, Ron Burgandy is not as popular with the Upper East Side Ladies as he is with the Inwood Gents so... he arrived home around 5 in the morning babbling about Aqualung and then mumbled around in character for a good long while. That man is very lucky that he is adorable and that he was kind enough to let me crash at his place.

And the reason I wanted to crash at his place is because my alarm was set to go off at 7:20AM. So I could get up and head out to Central Park. Last month Maggie ran her first Big Girl Race of four miles and this month Dr. Muffy was going to run her first Big Girl Race of five miles. And Maggie was joining her. Yes, Dr. Muffy gets her PhD., turns 30 and runs a five mile race all in less than a month. Yes, she does make me feel completely inadequate. Why do you ask? I figure I will be living in a sanitarium with my stuffed cats and imaginary friends when she turns 35 after establishing herself as some kind of crazy super doctor.

So, I got up, weeping. Dressed myself and decided I was going to walk to our meeting spot. Woo. Yeah, I'm a badass. Heh. Met up with Steph and the Fabulous Girl Racers, saw them to the starting line, took some photos, cheered their start and then wandered off for coffee with the man where we could chat and sit in awe at the super fast racers who came tearing around the final curve six seconds later. Give or take 20 minutes or so. Then we cheered our girls to the finish line and were impressed with how not out of breath and not wet non angry non beet like they were.

Then we attempted brunch. Maggie and Nano wanted to go to this place called Prune and once Steph heard of their Bloody Marys we were in a cab heading downtown. But we were a party of five waiting for super trendy brunch. After about an hour or so, upon learning there was ANOTHER party of five ahead of us, not including the one just called in or the large assortments of 2s and 3s and 4s... I suspected I wasn't going to be able to wait as long as it would take to get in and still make it home before my parents, let along make it home in time to tidy a little. So I bailed. I hear the food was good.

Got home to tidy a little before my parents called to say their flight was in early and they were on their way to Brooklyn. Oh, and there was a brief lecture from the cats about staying out all night after not being home much the two weeks prior and you really don't want to hear it. The cats have potty mouths and they were mad.

The folks arrived about the same time my cold symptoms did. But luckily they were tired and jet lagged after an awesome week in Germany and we all just sat around moaning and chatting before enjoying an evening of Pizza and TV. Then Mom passed out and I made cupcakes. She actually valiantly roused herself at one point with the intention of helping her baby girl ice the cupcakes, but they weren't cooled enough for that. And she went back to bed, down for the count. But, I soon got the cupcakes done and headed to bed.

Monday my adorable father insisted on walking me to the subway platform with my cupcakes as he didn't want me to have to carry them along with my bookbag and purse. Cutest man ever. The office party Lovey, Sheena and I held was fun, but mellow. And much needed after my surreal performance evaluation.

After work I met Dr. Muffy for coffee and had a fabulous chat with her. We were supposed to hit the Natural History Museum with Muppet for some fun Halloween thing, but Muppet had a board meeting and I got stuck late at work and Dr. Muffy was Dr. Science on her own until our coffee time. Then, instead of going home like a sane person I got sucked into helping Monkey Man with a paper he has due today. And the bitch better have gotten an A on it. Dangit. After which I got to ride the F train post parade with all the crazy costumed folks. Most of them were fun but some ho in a prison costume (complete with visitor window & phones) moved someone over so she could take up the two seats next to me and dig the edge of her wooden window ledge into my thigh. Lots of folks taking pictures of her probably have my obnoxious eye roll next to her.

Anyway, this is all to say that I am very happy to be heading home soon to my soup, my kitties and my TiVo. Bliss.

Bernankular

2005-10-31T10:45:00.000-05:00

I know only about seven of you read this, but I thought I would try and do my tiny little part to spread the word.

BERNANKULAR

Buy a t-shirt. Magnets and buttons make great stocking stuffers. Support the cause.

Shopping

2005-10-27T17:45:00.000-04:00

I shopped a good portion of the day away on Friday. I shopped even more on Saturday. Then, on Sunday, I shopped a little more. I took Monday & Tuesday off from shopping and then was at it again last night.

My all-girl puppet band (Lovey, Muppet & Bambi) and I went to one of those cheesy Shecky's parties. Muppet thought it would be fun and I adore a goodie bag so we all got tickets for last night. Muppet was very excited, but Lovey and I worried when Lovey, Muppet and I arrived around 6 to a long LINE. Just to get in the damn door. And then we saw what we think was a bus from Jersey pull in to dump a ton of women out. Lovey started dreading the crowds and I started wondering how many folks I'd have to physically knock to the ground before they threw me out. It was a dark mood.

And some of the event wasn't so great. The organization was kind of all over the place. And it was PACKED. They also promised dessert fondue and snacks. I NEVER saw dessert fondue and I'm pissed about it. One nice woman who sold Bambi a sexy top claimed it was there earlier, but I'm not sure I believe her. And the snacks? Hmmmm... I had a cookie and about 10 M&Ms. That does not count as good cocktail party snack food. Dammit. And the crowds. Damn. TONS of people and about 75% of them were the stupid type who think stopping in the middle of a walkway is fine. Stopping to look at the vendor tables I understand. Hanging out in the lounge areas is fine. Stopping just mere footsteps away from the lounge areas to gossip while people are trying to pass you? Not so good.

But, it was still fun. Hanging with the girls was good. The goodie bag was excellent and came with a metric buttload of crap like body wash and bath salts and trashy novels and sampler CDs and tons of tiny free samples and coupons and a map and other such nonsense. Going through it at home, I thought it was the neverending clown car of goodie bags. There were also free drinks. Amstel Light isn't my beer of choice but the pineapple juice & vodka of some sort drinks were lovely. Bambi got a totally hot top that would even be work appropriate under a jacket. Lovey got a ton of stuff and I was peer pressured into an excellent (and very me) ring as well as a couple of watches. And Muppet got something for her niece, as well as something I will not be discussing here. And there was lots of mocking of folks, getting TWO Chanel gift bags after chatting with the rep for a bit (and I think I now have an appointment for a makeover sometime in December), spritzing with cucumber & green tea something or other, using the word cute a million times, the bliss in discovering the cookie tray, and just doing the friends hanging out thing. I don't know if I'd go to every single one of these, but I might be talked into going again some day.

And then today Muppet, Dr. Muffy and I went to the back room with the awesome purses and I got a fabulous brown "prada" bag. I may have to go again. There was a red & black "gucci" that I covet. Hmmmm... Maybe AFTER Christmas. Or maybe I can do some shopping there... Anyone on my Christmas list who adores a fab fake bag?

Sadly, Dr. Muffy is making us celebrate her 30th tomorrow, so I just don't know when I'll find the time to shop.

Speaking of... Dr. Muffy joined me at the office for lunch today. She's got some time between doctoring degrees and figured she'd check out corporate life. I had a fabulous time, but I fear I bored her silly and introduced her to way too many people. I always feel like such a dork taking people on tours. I find they're rarely fascinated by the same inane stuff that intrigues me. So then I just try and show them everything and eventually we end up with, "and this is the freight elevator doors and this is the supply cabinet..." We did learn that Dr. Muffy has a cooler supply cabinet. I have file folders and paper clips. She has ethanol and nitrous. She wins. She did get to meet the mail guy that Lovey & I find to be adorable but we were not able to spot the hot married man that I try hard not to lust after. And she met one of my crazy bosses. The craziest one. As well as tons of other folks. Good times. I love hanging out with people in the office rather than doing work. You should all come visit.

Too busy to blog

2005-10-26T00:15:00.001-04:00

After posting yesterday I realized it had been a little over a month since my last post and well over a month since my last valid post. I kept meaning to write about the things I was doing and had all kinds of funny stories (that I may still write), but I just never got around to it. Because I am lazy. But, things aren't going to get any less busy so I'm just going to have to buckle down. Toe the line. Blah blah something. I don't know. Whatever. I just wanted to list all the awesome things I've been doing over the past month so you all become insanely jealous of me and wish you had my rock star life. And I thought I needed an intro paragraph for that. I really don't though.

I:

Went to the Central Park Zoo to see MONKEYS and sea lions and penguins (Muppets favorite) and polar bears.
Saw the Penguin movie (with Muppet, of course).
Finally checked out the museum of sex which houses loads of imagines of nekkid men and allowed me the opportunity to watch hours of porn (old and new) with Muppet and Bambi.
Watched Muffy become Dr. Muffy. She did it brilliantly and beautifully (as is her nature) and I was and still am insanely proud of her.
Shopped Boston.
Ate at the Salty Dog.
Pigged out at Chat 'n Chew.
Purchased a Big Box o' Chocolate.
Walked for miles and miles.
Attended a fabulous art opening.
Attempted Weak Ass Canadian Bowling (and failed at it spectacularly).
Sampled the tasty bean & rice hospitality of Vader.
Reunited with my fabulous reading buddy, the feisty and witty Troublemaker.
Drank beer and ate pizza with IT boys.
Took the ethical slut quiz jointly with Dr. Muffy. After taking it again without Dr. Muffy I find we are less ethical but also still a wee bit less slutty together than apart. But either way we're very slutty, ethical women. Bow before us.
Learned about vegan porn with Dr. Muffy & Steph. Heh. Google that, bitches.
Went to see Serenity with Lovey where I was sad to see Mal with pants that are slightly less tight than they were in Firefly but the topless mostly made up for that. And then. I got to see... CRAZY LADY PANTIES!!!!!!!
Celebrated my PimpDaddy's aging process and ruined the ending of the latest Amazing Race for his brother because I am, unintentionally, the world's biggest asshole.
Ate vegetarian at Meat Heaven.
Battled a stomach bug of epic proportions. And walked it off. Doctors schmoctors.
Shopped Boston.
Cursed the rain.
Vacuumed my comforter.
Cheered and photographed Maggie as she ran her first big girl race. I am in awe. Running five yards pisses me off. Five miles? Rock on, little Maggie. Rock on.
Stayed up most of the night with a drunk friend who needed to vent and then went off to view the horrible Cry Wolf and then the even more horrible Venom (only paid for one!). And would not have done that with anyone but my adorable Buzz.
Went to a rugby game that included cheers such as "cover your ears" (after we learned it's not unheard of for them to be ripped off), naked rugby boys, "gatorade, corona, coconut mojitos" and fireworks.
Rocked out with Rock Star Fran and others. Well, drank beers and ate Indian food, but that's totally just like rocking out.
Suffered through a work party that offered psychics and an open bar (thank you, jeebus!).
Worked way more than I'd like.
Saw Wallace & Gromit (with a couple OTHER THAN Dr. Muffy & Steph).
Lunched with Charlotte and her O Magazine self.
Enjoyed the new Fall season. I'm talking the TV season. I hate the start of cold weather and am refusing to wear my winter coat until it's November.
And some other stuff that I'm sure was awesome but that I'm just forgetting.

In the future I will:

Attend Homecoming.
Welcome Dr. Muffy to her 30's. Heh.
Have Sunday dinner with my lovely & jet lagged folks.
Scrub my bathroom.
Cheer and photograph Dr. Muffy as she does her first big girl race.
Avoid the flu.
Attend the Phi's national convention in providence. Which should only involve about 20 or so hours of board meetings - yes, you do want my rock star life.
Go to Shecky's night out to drink Amstel Light, eat dessert fondue, score a goodie bag and mock the women of New York mercilessly with Bambi, Lovey and Muppet. Bambi, Lovey and Muppet? Hell.
Introduce Dr. Muffy to the International Bar in my company's cafeteria. I think it's only Italian Nation day on the day she's coming. Which is sad. Monday was Comfort Food Nation day. But Thursdays are usually Tapas Bar days so that'll be nice for her. Then she can tour my two by two inch cubicle and see the IT room where boys will mock and throw balls at us. Call me if you'd like to schedule a hot lunch date like this with me.
Christmas shop until I drop. In Boston. And New York. And Honolulu.
Spend Thanksgiving with Turnip. Hopefully?
Attempt the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Again. Maybe this will be the year I actually go.
Finally make plans with the guy I've been playing phone tag with for the past few months. (You matchmaking freaks stop that thought right now it is NOT like that!)
Survive November Sweeps.
Attend a Halloween party. Maybe even in costume (a costume I will pull together in about 30 seconds, much like I did with previous costumes such as Cher Impersonator and The Country Music Awards).
Throw a work Halloween Party to celebrate what is sure to be a shitty performance evaluation and the announcement of no raise or promotion ever.
Have tea with the nicest Opera Divas I know.
Visit my doctor to see if the 15 pounds I've lost have helped anything.
Begin my Christmas insanity.
Help organize the huge work birthday party Sheena will demand.
Celebrate Maggie's birthday with brunch and festivities and such.
Take a nap?

Small town Indiana

2005-10-25T18:30:00.001-04:00

So, yesterday I went in for my annual vaginal poking. Good times. Apparently my pelvic exam is fine and now I just wait to hear how my cervix is and if I have the HIV, the syphilis, the Heps (B&C), the gonorrhea, the chlamydia and the something else. I have forgotten what the something else is. It wasn't the HPV because they're only testing for that if the swabbing shows abnormality. Hmmmmm... Yes well, I guess it's only important if I have it and I'm sure they'll give me the name of it when they tell me I have it. Or don't have it. Whatever. More girlie info than you ever wanted, huh boys? It's good to know about the wiminfolks sometimes though. Really. I'll let you tell me all about your last boy poking if you want.

Anyway, I had the day off so between poking and a lovely dinner with Vader I had some time to kill. A weekend in Boston left me a little tired of shopping and running errands so I figured I'd go see Elizabethtown. It looked like crap. I heard it was crap. No one was ever going to see it with me. So, why not a matinee.

Now, you might be thinking why go at all, right? Well... my Daddy is from a small town not too far outside of Louisville. So, from the moment I heard Kirsten Dunst lecturing Orlando Bloom on the pronunciation of Louisville I sorta knew I had to go see it.* I actually watched all of Varsity Blues because Daddy liked it and said it kinda reminded him of high school and playing on Salem's football team and all. Yes, I have mad love for my Dad and a serious sentimental streak. Whatever. We can't all be cold-hearted bad asses all the time, can we?

Anyway, the movie is crap. Really. It had the potential for a good time, but it wasn't a good time. And yet, on more than one occasion I actually found myself crying a little in the theater. Because I am an idiot. And because I am a sentimental fool.

It's not like I watched it thinking, Oh MY GOD THAT'S JUST LIKE SALEM. 'Cause it's not. At all. But there was enough of it in there that reminded me of my Dad's family. And my mom's family. Little goofy not quite right things that about small town life that reminded me of the true things about small town life. And with the story's funeral and memorial planning, it brought up a lot of memories from my Papaw's funeral. Which was my first funeral. And my last. And one of the most horrible things I've ever attended. Not that it wasn't well done or that it didn't honor my Papaw's memory. It did. But because it honored his memory and not his living, breathing self sitting next to me, it was agony.

So I thought a lot about that. And about my family. And about all the ridiculous things that make my family what it is. And how much I love all those ridiculous things. Even the ones I hate. I wish I could be with my family more. I wish I lived closer to all of my family. Not just my parents, but the whole freakin' clan. All the freakin' clans. But that's not possible. And really, I don't think I could give up my life in New York. And if we're being honest, we'd all probably kill each other if we lived close together. Though the survivors would totally feel guilty about it after a few years. But I don't see any of them as much as I'd like to. Which is sad. But I see enough of them to love them, and to want to see more. Enough to feel like the time I do spend with them isn't enough.

When I was watching that movie a ton of memories came flooding back. Just little things. Mostly ones involving sitting around, saying silly things, getting into little fights and cooking or eating obscene amounts of food. Just the hanging out and being a family sorts of memories. Some of which I can't ever recreate because four out of the six grandparents I knew are dead. And we're all older and more scattered. But I have them. And the weddings and the babies and those of us still around create the potential for more memories. Which is good.

And I haven't even gotten to get into all the road trip memories the last little bit of the movie brought up. But I won't. Not right now, as this entry would never end.

*One Thanksgiving some family from Salem actually quizzed me on the pronunciation to make certain I wasn't too New Yorkified. I passed.

Vacation

2005-09-21T13:02:00.000-04:00

So, I'm trying to find something fun to do, outside of New York for sometime around October 12-16. Any suggestions? Any interest?

I Talk Too Much (Skip the first paragraph, Daddy)

2005-09-12T16:00:00.000-04:00

I spent the majority of today's morning commute thinking highly inappropriate thoughts about the Xavier Rugby player sitting across from me. Please let me know if you have the name and number of an appropriate therapist for me. In my defense, he was really, really cute. And I think he was probably a senior. At the very least a junior. And really, really cute. Plus, I think I'm in heat. Normally it only happens when I ovulate, but maybe September is special. You know what I mean by heat, right? Not all catlike and rubbing my butt on things and yowling. Just noticing the hotness of boys more and wanting to climb the walls a little? Yeah. It's that. And in this vulnerable state the powers that be threw a teenaged hottie rugby player in front of me. Then sent me off to the dermatologist to get groped (in a very polite & professional manner). Then put the smokin' hot married man of my dreams (no, I am not a homewrecker. Yet. So dreamy...) in front of me in the caf at lunch. Later today I'm supposed to get a massage from a friend. Maybe I should reschedule. I mean, how many times in one day can a girl take off her clothes and lay down on a table to get groped by some guy? Ugh, I've now made myself feel dirty. Actually I think I made myself feel dirty back when I typed ovulate.

My weekend was good. Spent very little time in my apartment which upset the kitties. When I got home last night Nani meowed endlessly and then jumped on my chair and wedged herself between the back of the chair and my ass and meowed until I finally gave her some attention. I am such a bad mom.

The weekend was exhausting, though. Worked late on Friday, went for a walk and got to bed way too late for the 6:45AM alarm the next day. Drove to CT with Steph and Maggie for a 37 hour alumni board meeting. Though there was lunch at some point in there and I think some hanging out with friends I hadn't seen in a while. The meeting was fairly productive but way too long. But then again anything more than two hours is too long to me so... We picked up Charlotte for the trip home and ended up stopping at the Super Duper Weenie (original) for a snack on the way. The dogs were tempting but I went with the Tuna salad and the onion rings. Awesome onion rings.

Then we unloaded Charlotte at her place, got Maggie to her place to change into a bra-revealing top for her later activities, grabbed Muffy and drove out to Red Hook for dinner. We figured we had the car for the night and might as well go someplace that's best reached by car. After lottery ticket purchasing we settled in at 360 for a late, long dinner. The menu is not veggie friendly, but when Steph asked the waiter about it, he said they could do a veggie plate for me. It turned out to be rather good. Though I still don't like broccoli rabe. The wine was tasty and the company excellent. Though the other patrons... my god. It was pretty noisy in there which wasn't fun, but the woman at the table next to us was special. Our waiter was at our table discussing wines with Steph when he suddenly looked a little startled and turned around. The woman there had been Pinching His Ass! When he turned around all confused she said, "Hey, babe, can you get us some dessert when you get a chance?" Dude. They had JUST finished their dinner. It wasn't as if they had been sitting around waiting or anything. And he was very obviously in the middle of discussing the wine list with us. She just pinched this guy's ASS outta nowhere. He was very polite, said he'd get someone for her, went and got one of the other guys there and then came back and stood on the other side of the table to finish our orders, saying it was "safer" over there. Poor guy. He was really nice too. Turns out Muffy & Maggie had thought the woman was a friend of his and called him Dave. We asked him about it towards the end of the meal and had a pretty funny conversation about it. Then we spent a hunk of the rest of our time there making ass pinching jokes. As well as stuffing our faces. I tried to be good and avoid dessert but Waiter "Dave" brought me some anyway. And who am I to turn away free caramel dessert something or other? Takes a stronger woman than this one.

Sunday was brunch at Lobo with Muffy and Steph. After that we were going to head to the bookstore to look at travel guides and ponder a trip in October. Brunch ended around 1:30 or so. I got home about 9 that night. We spent hours and hours on the internet hashing over what we wanted to do. We are all really excited about Rome, but are now having problems deciding where to stay and what's the cheapest way to do it. Muffy and I thought we'd finally settled on a package/hotel when Steph came over with an article he'd read talking about cheap fabulous hotels/hostels. Turns out it was written by Pumpkin's old college roommate. A travel writer. Who I knew was a serious expert on Italy but had forgotten about as I haven't seen him in ages, partially because Pumpkin hasn't been to visit in ages (yes, that was a hint). So, we thought we'd see if we could hire or badger him into giving us advice and help and are tabling things for a couple of days. I think Muffy, Steph and I are just so different, opinionated and talky that we may end up spending more time planning the trip then we'll actually spend on it. But I'm really in love with the idea of Rome. Especially with a day trip to Pompeii. Though it makes my head hurt to think of how much it's all going to cost. But it should be worth it, right? Yes. Once we get our tickets and reservations. Heh.

I've always wanted to go to Italy. It's going to be Awesome. And they totally have hottie rugby players in Italy. Right?

Friday Quiz (not)

2005-09-09T14:00:00.000-04:00

So.... Since my first attempt at a quiz was a disaster I will skip it this week and ponder trying again next week.

Today, I will list things I love about New Orleans and the Gulf Coast.

And hopefully I will be able to see and experience these things again. Soon. Well, most of them.

1) Sitting on the bank of the Mississippi eating Toblerone and Muffalettas from Central Grocery.

2) Going to see Romeo & Juliet (the ballet) with Tangerine, spotting the hottest dancers a couple of hours later in the French Quarter and then stalking them around the Quarter for ages before giving up in a fit of giggles.

3) The first time I ever caught a crab in a crab trap down in Montrose (Fairhope), Alabama.

4) Casting the net with the official "Mullet Man" of Fairhope (it IS official, I have the certificate) off various piers; catching lots and lots of mullet for him to smoke and give away.

5) Eating a crawfish po-boy at the Fairgrounds at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival.

6) Being confronted with a Natchitoches Meat Pie and being powerless against it. Years of vegetarianism out the window. And it was so worth it. Especially when later eating a Muffaletta.

7) Running around the USS Alabama like a demon child with my cousins almost every Easter when we'd go to visit my grandparents.

8) Watching tons of ParrotHeads at the NO Jazz & Heritage Festival acting like awesome dorks while Buffett sang onstage.

9) Sitting right outside the Gospel tent at the Jazz Fest on a Sunday morning with my iced coffee and my beignets listening to the Nevilles - best Church Service in the world.

10) Aw hell, ANYTHING at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival.

11) Sand crabs on the beach in Gulfport.

12) Purchasing a stuffed crawfish that I later named Cheeto.

13) Riding the streetcar past all the pretty, pretty houses.

14) Eating dinner at the Commander's Palace on prom night with my folks, way before I was old enough to go to Prom. Back before Emeril's name was a household one.

15) Spending Easter Weekend at Nottaway Plantation with my parents and grandparents, during my Gone with the Wind obsession, pretending I was Scarlett O'Hara with flouncy skirts and a billion potential boyfriends. I was about 11, it was a totally acceptable fantasy.

16) Eating black olives and cottage cheese from the Fairhope Yacht Club salad bar and then polishing off a huge steak to please my grandfather.

17) Sitting on the lower level of my cousin's pier house in 'bama while he showed me glow-in-the-dark jelly fish in the water right below us.

18) Riding in a boat with my family down in Alabama and seeing dolphins swimming next to us.

19) Sitting on the porch at my cousins' house. My grandmother had died and we had all gathered together for her memorial at the church. After that we went to my cousins' place and watched the sun set talking about family and my grandmother. And it helped me deal with losing her. Being there and being with my family, remembering her in a place that suited her well.

Dismal Failure

2005-09-09T12:00:00.000-04:00

Well, it appears none of you watch Charlie's Angels. I'm disgusted with all of you. And I will be having a mandatory party soon where we will watch about 17 hours of Charlie's Angels episdoes. Be there or feel my wrath.

Answers below. No one wins. You all suck.

1) Which Angel is the only one to star in all five seasons?
Kelly Garrett/Jaclyn Smith (2)

2) In "Night of the Strangler" (episode 3), what did the killer use to strangle his/her vicitms?
Rag Doll (2)

3) From what cities did each Angel come when they joined Charlie's team?
Sabrina - LA
Jill - LA
Kelly - LA
Kris - San Francisco
Tiffany - Boston
Julie - LA (5)

4) Which Angel was Kate Jackson originally set to play?
Kelly Garrett, in the end played by Jaclyn Smith (1)

5) From what profession did each Angel come when they joined Charlie's team?
Sabrina - Police Force
Jill - Police Force
Kelly - Police Force
Kris - Police Academy
Tiffany - Police Academy
Julie - Modeling (5)

6) What profession did Jill chose after leaving Charlie's team?
Professional Race Car Driver (1)

7) How many seasons saw Farrah Fawcett-Majors as one of the three starring angels?
One, she returned for guest starring roles in three episodes each for seasons 3 & 4 (1)

8) Which Angel's boyfriend was played by Tom Selleck?
Kelly Garret (1)

9) What sport did the Angels play in "Angels in the Backfield" (Season 2)?
Football (1)

10) Who was the final actress to be added to the Angel line-up? Extra point for her character's name.
Tanya Roberts/Julie Rogers (2)

11) Between which two seasons was there NOT a change in the Angel line up?
Season 2 & 3 (1)

12) With what other Spelling show did the Angels combine casts for the Season Four premier?
The Love Boat (1)

More of My Rock Star Life

2005-09-08T14:02:00.001-04:00

I am in desperate need of a vacation. So bad. The long weekend was lovely, but not nearly long enough.

I headed to Branford in Connecticut to hang with Pumpkin, Fishboy and Pumpkin's aunt. She has a cute little house right by the beach so most of the weekend was spent walking dogs, sleeping and lazing around the beach with a book. It was great to see all of them and to catch up on sleep and dog time. We also watched Super Size Me which made me grateful that I'm currently working on eating healthier and also made me reconsider ever eating McDonald's fries again. In one of the DVD extras Spurlock puts various Mickey D products in glass canisters to see what happens compared to a standard restaurant burger and fries. Ten Weeks later everything else had molded but the fries. They looked exactly the same as they did when he got them. So disturbing to me. We also watched Monster-In-Law as well, but the less said about that the better. I think I'd rather eat the fries than see that again. And I love Jane Fonda and topless Michael Vartan. So very sad.

The beach was awesome, though. Just laying around talking a little, swimming a little, reading a little and dozing a little was great. We had good weather, lots of sun and one visit by the ice cream man. Monday was the prettiest day and it sucked to have to leave early to head home. It's been a while since I was in Hawai'i for any length of time and I didn't realize how much I missed just laying around in the sunshine with the sound of waves and water birds and people playing around on the beach. I need to get outside more. New York is making me a pasty, doughy, indoors girl and I don't like it.

This week has been pretty busy. Lots going on at work now that the summer is over and we have to get back to being more productive. Which sucks. As I hate my job. Plus lots of friend time. Late dinner at Gravy with Maggie on Tuesday and then a bit of a walk searching for the mythical bus that goes almost straight to her 'hood from mine. Turns out it's not so mythical but it does stop running around 9something at night. But now we know. For the future. Though the bus does scare me a little. I'm so comfortable with the subway now that I've forgotten all I knew of bus etiquette.

Tuesday was also my first dentist visit in about 7 or 8 years. What a way to kick of the day after Labor Day. It was pretty bad and apparently two "quadrants" needed deep cleaning as opposed to the regular kind. Who knows. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And we were all (me, dentist, hygenist and receptionist - VERY friendly dental office) quite pleased that my teeth are pretty good and I have no cavities. Now I just have to decide what I want to do about my wisdom teeth.

Last night Vader came over for pizza, beer and Veronica Mars. I was one of the seven folks who watched and loved it last season and Vader (as well as PimpMama) got into it through reruns this summer. I've been TiVoing a few for her over the summer and kept the season finale on TiVo so we could watch a bunch of them together. Last night was the second to last episode so I had her over to watch that and then the finale. She's hooked and we now have only 20 days until the premiere. Woo.

The rest of the week involves walking (still obsessing over weight & diet), making cupcakes, TiVo catch up and an alumni board meeting. Because I am that exciting. That damn exciting.

Rival Friday Quiz

2005-09-02T13:15:00.000-04:00

So, PimpDaddy keeps having Friday quizzes on his blog. And they're all fancy pants ones like architecture and world leaders and fancy beer and things. All that highbrow stuff at which I suck so completely. So, I'm going to have a rival Friday quiz for the lowbrow crowds. We're kicking this off with a Charlie's Angels Quiz.

Email me your answers, don't post them in the comments section. These questions apply to the TV Angels, not the movie ones. Also, no looking any of this stuff up on the magical interweb or anything like that. There are 23 points possible. When names are involved you get 3/4 a point for the first name and 1/4 a point for the last name - the full point requires both names. You have until Tuesday night.

1) Which Angel is the only one to star in all five seasons? (1 point for actress's name, 1 point for character's name)

2) In "Night of the Strangler" (episode 3), what did the killer use to strangle his/her victims? (2 points)

3) From what cities did each Angel come when they joined Charlie's team? (1 point per Angel)

4) Which Angel was Kate Jackson originally set to play? (1 point)

5) From what profession did each Angel come when they joined Charlie's team? (1 point per Angel)

6) What profession did Jill chose after leaving Charlie's team? (1 point)

7) How many seasons saw Farrah Fawcett-Majors as one of the three starring angels? (1 point)

8) Which Angel's boyfriend was played by Tom Selleck? (1 point)

9) What sport did the Angels play in "Angels in the Backfield" (Season 2)? (1 point)

10) Who was the final actress to be added to the Angel line-up? Extra point for her character's name. (2 points)

11) Between which two seasons was there NOT a change in the Angel line up? (1 point)

12) With what other Spelling show did the Angels combine casts for the Season Four premier? (1 point)

Hurricane News

2005-09-01T11:25:00.001-04:00

My Mom's nightly email from last night discussed some news she read about Fairhope, AL. It appears the yacht club down there is destroyed and the piers are a mess as well as a lot of homes and things. I know it's so small in the grand scheme of things; people losing their homes forever, all the death and destruction. But it breaks my heart a little to think of all the places that my grandparents used to take me being reduced to rubble. It breaks my heart more to think of what everyone is going through down there. But I guess it brings it home a little more for me to think of all those wonderful memories I had of the pier and the yacht club. All the dinners Bz would buy for me at the club. The salad bar I loved as a kid 'cause they'd let me just fill my salad plate with cottage cheese and black olives. The 'fancy' ladies room with green couches. The time Vader and I were visiting and after dinner went to wade in the water. We ended up totally soaking ourselves and spent the ride home on the floor of the backseat so we wouldn't mess up Nana & Bz's pretty car. My great-aunt Jean taking us to dinner there the last time I was down, right after my grandfather passed away. Fishing off those piers with Bz, getting mullet and crab.

And also thinking of all my wonderful trips to New Orleans. Not with my grandparents but with my parents. And one spring break with Tangerine. And one jazz fest with a guy who's family still lives there. And all the stuff that's probably beyond repair down there. It's such an amazing city.

I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. And I'm still having a hard time dealing with the fact that there is very little I can do to help. But, I guess even my little donation helps. And this country rebuilds and survives. And everyone will get through this. And it's probably good to remember that.

Katrina

2005-08-31T17:00:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of friends and family down South. No direct friends and family in New Orleans, but friends of friends and such down there. And I love the city so much. I was even planning on heading down there next Spring for Jazz Fest and really looking forward to it. And it's so hard to think of everything going on down there right now.

Most of my friends and family have gotten in touch and are okay overall. But a lot of them have had to leave their homes and aren't sure when they're going to get back. And they're worried a lot about the people still there. A friend of mine described the damage to New Orleans as "devastating" and urged a bunch of us to donate to the Red Cross if we can. So I'm passing that along.

It just seems so weird to know what's going on down there and to get emails and calls from friends but to be so far removed from it. All Katrina has given New York is a lot of humidity. And everyone at work going on about the economic implications. It just seems unreal and no matter how much film I see, I can't wrap my head around it. This morning my Mom started talking about how she doesn't think New Orleans will ever be the same and that she's glad we went so many times and that we'll have those memories.

I want to send my thoughts and prayers, but don't know what to wish for. So much has already happened. I guess I just hope that everything goes as well as it can from here on out and people are able to salvage a lot of their homes and lives, and that the death toll isn't too high.

Update: Not all of my family and friends are accounted for yet. But they're in areas that are without phone service and such. And hopefully we would've heard by now if things were serious. My friend in Baton Rouge says it's horrible down there and, "I would say the best thing to do is to have you and your friends make monetary donations to the red cross - they are begging for them down here." Give if you can.

Work Outings

2005-08-31T13:15:00.000-04:00

So, I'm still trying to figure out if trampolining in front of my bosses, coworkers, assorted stuffy economists and strategists as well as the head of our department was the right thing. Whatever, after the initial 30 seconds of hooting from the peanut gallery Lovey and I had a lovely jumping time. I haven't been on a trampoline in ages and it was a blast. Though I can no longer do the thing where you jump, jump, jump, bounce down on your ass and bounce back up on your feet. Well, I don't think I can. I only tried it once.

Overall the outing was okay. It was not as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still a work outing. So it wasn't piles of fun. Drank a bunch of wine, ate very little as very little veggie stuff was offered, embarrassed myself in front of all on a trampoline, played with a huge dog, told some fun stories and went home. I've had worse nights. Like tonight. When I have to make fundraising phone calls and then take a long walk in some nasty humidity. Blech.

Love my friend time

2005-08-30T13:45:00.000-04:00

This weekend was excellent. Though busy. I wanted to spend all of Monday in bed recovering. Sadly, there was work. And meetings. And such.

Friday I ducked out early and went home to mow the lawn. Weeded, mowed, raked, pruned and yanked vines. Good times. Actually, it sucked. And the lawn needs some serious rain and lots more work. But it looks kinda good. So I showered and took an afternoon nap. Love those.

Then off to Frankie's with Muffy and Steph. It was before the nasty Katrina humidity set in so we wanted to eat outside and settled down with drinks for the long wait for a table. I now have a new favorite drink and it's the ginger martini. Sooooo good. It was a fun night. Caught up with Muffy and Steph after a way too long away from them, ate good food, drank wine, enjoyed the night, watched a little mouse run around, that kinda thing. Nights like that make me love living in my 'hood.

Saturday I got my ass up and dragged it to Muffy & Steph's at 10AM. On a Saturday. So we could brave train madness and get to the Guggenheim. For some reason last weekend, the F wasn't stopping at our 'hood, the 4 wasn't running to Borough Hall, I think something was up with the C and maybe the R. Madness. Whatever. After a little fussing, we got ourselves to the upper east side for brunch at Sarabeth's with Iolanthe. Lovey and the Musical Genius were supposed to join us but cancelled that morning. They claimed illness but I suspect at least part of that was due to a strong desire to sleep in past 11AM. Their loss as we had a great time. Sarabeth's makes a tasty bloody mary and good eggs.

And then off to the Guggenheim for some Mapplethorpe fun. I'm not a huge fan of the Guggenheim but the exhibit sounded cool. And it was a nice mix of folks I think. People who could appreciate the work but still giggle a little too. Which I learned right off the bat. First, as we're reading the intro explanation wall one woman turns to the guy she's with and asks, "Do you like art?". Weird question to begin with, and as Iolanthe pointed out, kinda late to be asking now. Of course, when I asked Iolanthe if she liked art, she said no. Then, we see the photograph of a marble statue from behind. And the way the light hit and the polish of the marble, this guy had a VERY shiny ass. It was a little distracting. Nothing else was so shiny. Just the ass. And Iolanthe came up and told me she could focus on nothing else in the photograph. My kinda girl.

I really liked a lot of the work and the comparison with a variety of classical engravings and such was interesting. Though some comparisons looked like someone was really trying to put an exhibition together rather than something more natural. And, as Muffy pointed out, the Guggenheim kinda sucked for a black and white photography exhibit. With the light coming through the glass ceiling and the spiral walkway creating white horizontal striped reflections on the glass fronts, it was hard to see some of the photographs. Annoying but still fun. And I got a nice postcard of Ah-nold for Lovey. To remind her of our conference planning of doom in January and to let her know the fun times she missed. She now has the photograph as her computer's wallpaper. I'm contemplating calling HR to report her. Beefcake should not be allowed in the workplace.

After that we sent Iolanthe off to a massage and a possible date and wandered down to Tiffany's for bling window shopping and to get wedding rings polished and resized. I could not find a single engagement ring I liked. But at least Muffy enjoyed the testosterone panic in the room and the pearl cowboy, fireman and monopoly guys. And I did see a few emerald and opal pieces to buy when I have my millions.

After that some errands, dinner at Hill Diner (VERY alcoholic Sangria!) and off to the Cobble Hill Cinema for The Aristocrats. I kinda like the big theater a little better. Better seats and screens, but I think mostly I prefer the sketchier crowd with all their comments and rowdiness. Cobble Hill gets a little pretentious for my tastes. But the movie was hysterical. I hadn't heard the joke and I'm kinda glad as it was a surprise of sorts for me. But it was so funny. All three of us had at least five or so moments when we just lost it. And I didn't even get too fazed by all the poo talk. Though George Carlin almost did me in at the start of the movie. I completely recommend it and would be willing to go again. After that was some down time in my back yard with a bottle of wine and discussions on life and the after life. And poo. You know how it goes.

Sunday I slept in, did a a few chores and then headed off to Jersey. Getting to Jersey from Brooklyn ain't easy. Especially when the MTA doesn't want to provide any trains for me to use to leave the 'hood. So, after much walking, a couple of trains and more walking I made it to the home of PimpDaddy and PimpMama and had a delightful night. PimpMama made a great dinner and we chatted and caught up and had a good time. And all that walking and train hopping was good for me. I think I must've sweated out a few pounds. So sick of this humidity.

Last night was a gathering of Muffy, Steph, Charlotte, Maggie, PimpMama and I at Pop to discuss Sesquisentenial plans for the ALS. I managed to dump a full glass of Merlot in my lap and we did have to discuss event planning and all, but it was fun. And I got another glass of wine so everything worked out for the best.

Today we have our Econ/Strat outing at the big boss's house. I skipped out last year but am going this year. Skipped the golf clinic though. Golf and I no longer mix. I think it's better this way. I really hope it rains soon and kills the humidity before we head to CT for drinks around the pool. As wet as it is in the New York Metro area right now we might as well have drinks IN the pool. HATE the wet. HATE.

I'm That Girl

2005-08-25T16:05:00.000-04:00

I have become that girl. The one who is obsessed with her weight and food and exercise and calories. The one who used to be interesting and funny and talked about sex a little too much but is now boring and looks at your cheeseburger as if she's counting how many calories it is and how many grams of saturated fat it contains and is thinking of how much she'd like to eat it RIGHT NOW.

I am so, so sorry. For my friends, for anyone who reads this blog, for anyone who works near me or sits near me in a restaurant. So, so sorry. Because now I just babble about what I'm eating or my latest grocery delivery or how many calories lawn mowing and weeding burn and how I'm healthy but won't be in a few years and how I really need to be careful about saturated fats and sodium and OH MY GOD SHUT ME UP!!!!!!

I want to talk about books and things I've done recently and travel and stuff like that. I haven't read a whole magazine in months and haven't touched From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler in days. I'm too obsessed with planning menus and weeding and planning walking schedules. But, it's not like it's a hard book that takes weeks to finish or sucks up huge amounts of time. I actually love it and have read it a million times. Whenever I read it I start talking about how cool it would be to live in the Met and what I would do. And then I start wondering if there are other museums I'd like living in more and ponder if they'd really have sheets on a bed in a museum. Though when I do that, it takes very little time before people call me a dork and run away. So maybe it's better that I talk about calories than that? I don't know. I just worry about me.

I just met up with Charlotte for coffee and chatting. Haven't seen her in ages and she's going to be working in my 'hood now. And the first thing I started talking about when she asked how I was... Yup, you guessed it. My doctor's visit and my weight and how I've lost 11 pounds and am eating healthier and walking more and sitting on my ass less and OH MY GOD SHUT ME UP!!!!! Though, after I got that out of my system and she nodded politely and said the right things we moved on to other topics like work and gossip and sex and wedding stuff and fall plans. So that's something. Still, I worry about me. Becoming so damn boring.

Don't even THINK about writing to tell me I was boring before.

Crazy lady (with cats!)

2005-08-23T16:45:00.000-04:00

I was pondering last night, with Muffy & Steph, what my upstairs neighbor must think of me.

I sing in the shower. Loudly. Usually 50's pop tunes. "CUUUUUUUUU-pid, draw back your bo-ow, and let, your arrow flo-ow, straight to, my lover's heart, fo-orr meeeeeeeeeee."

Whenever I walk by the fly paper with the flies all stuck to it I yell "Die, motherfucker," because I really hate the flies. And I love me some Janice Dickinson. Last night, while doing my fave fun time activity of scooping the catbox, I discovered these flies had been trying to lay eggs in my kitties's poo. Well, some choice words yelled at the fly paper. Worse than "die, motherfucker". Yelled at flypaper. Full of fly carcasses. While holding a pooper scooper and a plastic grocery bag (double-bagged, of course) of poo. Picture it.

The stuff I yell at the cats when they fight each other, scratch the screen, scratch me, pee outside the box or throw up on my Playboys? It's not pretty and rarely makes sense. Growling "think inside the box, bitch" probably sounds a little off. Though if she could just see Nani standing in her litter box, happily peeing off the side and onto the floor she would totally understand. Cooing, "Did you kill something, baby? Good job, you kill that toy, Peanut," at 3 in the morning when DKE has woken me up to announce that she's killed her catnip mouse toy for the three millionth time has to sound kinda weird too yeah? Hopefully the upstairs neighbor sleeps through that.

But I KNOW she's seen me out in the back with the weeds when I see a bug, and then squeal like a four year old girl and do the bug dance with flailing arms and head shaking for about a minute. She's gotta think that's odd. Oh, shit. What if Hot Cop next door has seen me do that? Ooooh, so not good. But then again he's probably also seen me take out the trash in my house dress.

Ah, another thing. Yesterday, rather than taking 30 seconds to throw on shorts and a t-shirt to take out the trash, I just threw a short sleeved hoodie over my sarong (wrapped around me like a towel) and went out in my koala slippers.

I am so totally the crazy lady in the 'hood with the two cats and the slippers and the housedress (nightshirt, same thing) and the garden. Never getting married. Living to 102 and spending the last 50 years of that alone and inside while the neighborhood children make up scary stories about me. And when I die, my cats will eat me.

I heart Winn

2005-08-20T12:00:00.000-04:00

I love the Winn Discount in my 'hood. It took me a while to discover it. Mom was visiting me around the time I was moving from my first Brooklyn apartment in Carroll Gardens to my second Brooklyn apartment in Cobble Hill, just three blocks away or so. She was gossiping with my neighbor for a bit during the move and the woman mentioned Winn. Which was just up the street from my old place. And she was shocked and appalled that Mom had never heard of it and that I had never been there. And so Mom trudged over and fell in love. And bought an ashtray and lectured me for not getting out more.

It's one of those great places that sorta seems to have everything and they have it for rather cheap. This Twinkle copper and silver polish that my Mom hasn't been able to find in years? Winn has it. Backyard parties need a cheap tablecloth, cups and possible a baby BBQ? Winn has it. I couldn't find my wrench to work on my shower head of doom and didn't really want to spend a lot of money on a new one? Went to Winn. Got a decent wrench AND a pipe wrench all for under $10. Plastic tubs and wrapping paper and bathroom trash cans... all at Winn. Good times.

And just recently I was scouring all over looking for fly paper. No one has any. You can get a Raid spray thing that bombs your whole house, but it involves spending half an hour outside of the house with the cats and I fear I'd want to wash all my pots and pans and dishes after. And I don't have a dishwasher. Sooooo... I want fly paper. And finally on my way home from work I remembered WINN! Oh yeah, they had it. Flies are dying horrible deaths in my apartment right now. Good times. And while I was there, the woman at the check out counter complimented my purse. Such a happy place. Winn Discount.

Pot Luck

2005-08-19T16:15:00.000-04:00

I work with Economists. Nerdy economists. With fairly poor social skills. Very awkward folks to be around sometimes. I think when I started here I sorta terrified them. With my talking about things other than finance. I'm just wacky that way. One of the guys I work with, who has come a long way socially since I first started with the group, once responded to my hello with, "What? What? Do you need some data?"

But since that time Sheena and I have become friends and Lovey joined the group and now things are a bit livelier. And we work very hard to find ways to entertain ourselves to keep from losing our minds. We sneak out for the occasional movie. We joke around all the time. We bitch and moan and mock. We have huge (covering entire conference room tables with food and drink) parties for our own birthdays and the occasional holiday. And on Thursday we decided to try a pot luck, just for the hell of it. And because the fussiest of my bosses was out.

We had seven layer dip, hummus, veggies, chipitos (the first tortilla chip to come out against double dipping), a chicken poppy seed casserole, fruit salad, and a very garlicky guacamole. Oh, and chocolate chip cookies. We've been the most popular section of the floor for two days now. With everyone wanting to know what the occasion was. And of course the whole time we were here gorging and talking smack about the firm every member of management on our floor walked by. Good times.

We think we'll do it again soon. Maybe I'll even make Spaghetti Pie!

Slacker

2005-08-18T16:00:00.000-04:00

I have been a horrible slacker. In so many ways. For one thing, I've slacked with the blog. Others have commented upon it. Including Daddy. Apologies. I will try to be better. Especially since one of the main reasons I started this damn thing was to encourage me to write regularly.

I have also slacked in many, many other ways. Which I've come to realize lately as I complain about one thing or the other. (I complain a lot, I'm a Gemini.) In many of the cases the person I'm complaining to (complaining at?) expresses sympathy and while I appreciate that sympathy I end up saying, "well, I only have myself to blame" or some variation on that. I have brought all these evils upon myself and now I'm going to have to work about a thousand times harder to fix everything so it can be maintained with average effort.

My Lawn. My beautiful, beautiful back yard. After my glorious day of mowing a million years ago I have neglected it. It was too hot or I was too tired or I wanted to do some weeding before mowing again or I had big plans or I know nothing about gardening (this last one is very true, I know NOTHING - Help ME!) blah blah blah. Whatever. I pussed out and now it's a jungle. The grass is super tall and I may have to whack it down before I can even mow it. Weeds have grown up so big and bad I think they might have devoured my azaleas. The back area which could be a great garden of some sorts is almost completely made up of weeds. The hammock is covered in twigs and things. The porch is littered with dried earthworm carcasses. It's a jungle. And it's my own damn fault. And I have to fix it. I've been yanking tall big weeds and pulling vines that are growing into the lilly bed. I have a few more hours of this before I can mow. 'Cause I want to try and yank the weeds out by the roots now that I can see them as weeds, which I don't think I'll be able to do so well once I've mowed them down. After I do that I'll mow. And after I mow I'll need to do more weeding and attack the back plot. And salvage the hammock. And sweep the porch. And clean the grill. All the while doing whatever I can to save the azaleas. I've cleared the weeds from them and have been watering them. But they're so brown and sad and I fear it might be too late. Still, it's not too late for the whole yard. And maybe after all this work I can have a yard that requires only a few hours of mowing and weeding a week in the spring and summer and only a few hours of maintenance a month in the fall and winter. We shall see.

The House. My apartment has gotten gross. It's a cute place but I have become the world's worst litterbox cleaner. And of course I chose to claim this title in the summer. When it's hot. And stinky. When the flies come out to play. Ah. The flies. One particularly bad time I just let the box go. For way too long. And the flies came. And now they won't leave. And I'll have to buy fly paper. And pray. And hopefully the flies will be gone soon. And one day the cats will remember that they're supposed to pee in the box and not on the floor beside the box. And life will be good. But, sadly, it's not just the catbox. Cat hair is on everything because I have some kind of aversion to my vacuum (maybe I need the Roomba). And I own too much crap and need to get rid of it. And I need to learn more about this verb "dust". I'm familiar with the noun "dust" as said noun is all over my furniture. I need to file all my papers and keepsakes away. I need to have a stoop sale and unload all the crap I collect because I have my Dad's compulsion to buy, buy, buy. I need to admit I'm never going to listen to the majority of my cassette tapes again and unload them. Things like that. I need to do my dishes and clean my fridge and reorganize my pots and my linen closet and all that crap. And I've started. Tuesday night, while avoiding more weeding (I weeded on Monday so hush up) I decided to clean the cat box which led to vacuuming which led to mopping which led to a pretty floor. Yay. And I tried out this pet hair/odor carpet thing last night that kinda works. You still need to put some effort into the vacuuming but it helps. Anyway, lots to do there, but I'm working on it.

My Fat Ass. As explored earlier this week, my eating and exercise habits are just embarrassing and it's led to a fat butt and a thick heart. Sometime in my adulthood I decided that eating a bag of chips while waiting for the mac (of boxed mac & cheese) to boil and then eating another bag of chips with the mac & cheese constituted an acceptable dinner. There are many other food crimes I used to commit on a daily basis, but I think I've embarrassed myself enough. You get the idea. And, as with everything else, it's all really my fault. My doctor was talking about getting me to a nutritionist and was asking me about how many calories I eat in a day. He was thinking I must have a slow metabolism and might need some help. And then I explained I eat about 3000 - 4000 calories a day. The fat ass, is all my own dam fault. I don't want to be as big as I am. I want to be in better shape. But until now I've never really wanted it enough. I would try diets for a while and eventually say screw it and inhale food again. I have tried different gyms and work outs and eventually gave those up. But it's just too much of a problem for me and now I must fix it. And I'm making progress so far. I'm down 10 pounds from my late June doctor's visit of doom. I'm paying more attention to what and how much I put in my mouth and I'm going out walking and all of that. Plus, the housework and yard work is making me more active and thus helping the ass as well. Though my poor interweb and TiVo are starting to feel a little neglected. Poor, poor little TiVo. Stuffed full on all those Daily Shows and bad shows I won't admit in writing that I watch.

My Job/Career. Once upon a time I was going to save the world. Then I was going to go to med school and become a doctor. And then I decided I was going to be an actress. The hell? A career where who you know and how you look matters more than anything else combined? Yeah, that's a wise choice for me. Or not. But I chose it, so I came to New York to do a little theatre and hang out while waiting for my fiance to graduate, at which point we could move elsewhere. The fiance didn't work out, New York and I fell in love and the acting attempt was rather half-assed. I quickly became disillusioned with the NYC theatre scene and decided to take a break and just make money and have a good time. That break has lasted years and years and I think I'm finally admitting I'm never going back to acting full time. Or even mildly part time. My current job pays me fairly well, but it's a crap job and I'm never going to go anywhere in it. And this is where I've been for a couple of years. But I don't know what to do and I don't know how to get out of the rut. But I have to get out of it. I have to find a job that gives me something more than a paycheck. It might just be me sending my resume out and seeing what sticks, trying something in theatre production or management. Or maybe going back to school and looking into becoming a therapist. I don't know. But I have to do something and I have to do it soon. 'Cause I'm tired of being a slacker in a job that kind of embarrasses me and makes me angry way too often. And that's the one thing on this list I've made almost no progress on. But it's on the list. This anti-slacker list.

I'm never going to land a husband now, am I? Now you all know the truth? The bad housekeeping, the fat ass, the constant complaining. Dammit.

Thickness in the heart

2005-08-15T15:00:00.000-04:00

So, it turns out I am too fat.

I haven't been a skinny little thing since I was a little girl. And a little while after that I was curvy and mostly happy with my body. Well, I was a girl growing up in America so of course I dieted and stressed about my weight and hated my thighs. It's a rite of passage these days. Sadly. But really, I was cute and all. In great shape; dancing, running around, active, not eating too badly. It was all good.

And then in college it started to go wrong. I'm not entirely sure why. Probably because of a whole bunch of things, as is usually the case. I wasn't dancing anymore. I spent more time being still than I used to. I developed horrible eating habits and learned I was capable of consuming whole bags of chips. I got older so my metabolism probably shifted some. I also just started to do fewer and fewer active things. So... I gained a lot of weight.

And I moved to New York. And went through much stress. And lost a bit of the weight. And it was good. But then, I went back to the bad college habits with twice the vigor. Consuming huge amounts of crap all the time. Spending lots and lots of time home in front of a computer and/or TV. Hermiting more than usual. Working at a desk job for 8-12 hours a day. Nothing scary. I have friends, I go out, I eat the occasional fruits and vegetables. It's not good. But it's not so bad I'd end up in a special interest story on fat hermits or something.

But that might be part of the problem. It was bad, but not so bad I worried much about it. I'd want to lose weight to be a little healthier or to be able to go hiking on harder trails or to look pretty or get massive amounts of sex (just kidding, Daddy). But it wasn't a huge thing for me. I've always kinda thought I was still cute and it's not like I can't do lots of physical stuff.

But, I've been to the doctor now. And at first he seemed happy about my attitude. I think he sees a lot of anorexics and bulimics and wasn't used to someone like me. Who has the opposite problem. Instead of seeing myself as fat even if I'm thin, I still have the idea that I'm the thinner girl I once was. I don't think I've ever truly seen how fat I am. Even when I think about how much I weigh, it didn't phase me. It didn't seem real. I would hear about people who looked huge and kind of unhealthy and they would weigh less than me and I would ignore that. Pshaw.

But I can't really Pshaw that now. Now I have to really look at my body. I'm not healthy It's not okay and I'm not able to go on like before, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (which is all the time). 'Cause I finally went to see a doctor for a physical. And we did some tests.

Now, it's nothing to freak out over. Right now I'm actually mostly healthy. But, all signs point to some seriously ugly health issues down the road. My blood work, my thyroid ulstrasound and my echocardiogram all show that if I don't fix things fast I'm well on the way to diabetes and heart disease, two of the very limited number of illnesses that do run in my family. And this has all scared the crap out of me. My doctor is a nice guy and keeps reminding me that I am healthy now. Which is good. But the echo showed I have some "thickness" in my heart. The hell. My god. I don't care how healthy I currently am. Hearing that freaked the fuck out of me. And thinking about it now it still scares me.

But, I need to keep a grip and remember that I'm lucky because I can fix this. The majority of this can be stopped and possibly even reversed if I just get my fat ass in shape. It's scary, but it's all under my control right now. If I sensibly lose weight and get more active I can fix this. And so I'm going to try. I've tried before and failed. Miserably. But now I have "thickness" in my heart. And hopefully that'll get me to where I need to be.

I also have a lot of support. Sheena and Lovey and Muppet all let me obsess about food and exercise as much as I want at work. Sheena is even cracking the whip over what I eat while I'm at work. Bitch made me give up half & half and mayo on my Subway sandwiches and American cheese on my breakfast burritos. And for that I hate her. And love her. Turnip is letting me vent and moan and whine and cry and is in it with me. And when it gets really hard my Mom is there to remind me that she had a heart attack and could've died and gave up smoking (a habit she had for longer than I've been alive) and I'm just being a damn pussy about the cheetos. Though she doesn't quite use those words. And I think when more folks figure out what's going on with me they'll probably be pretty good too. And won't make too many faces when I become that girl who can't talk about anything but food and calories. Oh dear god. Don't let me be that girl. Though, I guess right now I'd rather be that girl than the girl I will be if I don't get it together.

So. There you go. Just thought I'd share.

Baby Panda!

2005-08-03T17:15:00.000-04:00

Amanda: What's better than a baby panda?

Lovey: Nothing!

Amanda: You know it.

My mother is getting revenge for all the TV Shows I got her addicted to over the last few years.

I cannot stop watching the Baby Panda. I'll be doing some work, get cranky and turn to Baby Panda! Eating lunch and can't do much work while shoveling yogurt, turn to Baby Panda! Coffee hasn't kicked in yet, Baby Panda!

Lovey, Muppet and I are working on our plot to head to DC, visit some friends, snatch the Baby Panda (all Charlie's Angels badass like) and head back home. Muppet and I will share custody. She gets it Wednesdays and every other weekend, I get him the rest of the time. Lovey will visit as much as she can. Though really, I have the backyard, I should get him all the time. Sadly, if this does not work out, Monkey Man has refused to come down and bail us out of jail. Any volunteers?

He's so cute when he wiggles. Which is like, all the time. When Mom goes off to eat and he's all alone he kicks his little legs and grabs his ears or nose and I almost squeal out loud at work. Sheena is quite tired of the cooing coming from Lovey and I. Because she does not understand the unbelievable cuteness of Baby Panda! And Lovey and I are forced to quote Paula Abdul lyrics about her. And Monkey Man. Bad Baby Panda! non loving people...

Baby Panda!

Duran Duran

2005-07-29T10:15:00.000-04:00

Anyone have any interest in going to see Duran Duran with me on Sunday at Jones Beach?

Cobble Hill

2005-07-27T19:30:00.000-04:00

It appears that they are, recently have been or soon will be filming something for The Sopranos in my 'hood. If the signs are to be believed. Normally filming on the street doesn't thrill me beyond reason or anything because I have lived in New York for nine years now (can you fucking believe it - longest I've ever lived ANYWHERE?!?!?!). But I like The Sopranos and there are trucks and lights and a limo hooked to a tow and trailers and all of that about half a block from my pad.

If it weren't so hot, wet and miserable outside right now I'd be tempted to wander around and see what I could see. But it is hot, wet and miserable and should be storming soon. So the discomfort is high and the chance of seeing anything low. But it should be fun to watch this season and see what they shot here.

You know, filming on the street actually never thrilled me now that I think about it. Because the first NYC film crew I ever encountered filmed right outside the first apartment I had here in NYC. Not long after I moved in because Charlotte's bed hadn't arrived yet and we were both sharing mine. Which isn't nearly as sexy as it sounds. But nothing that happened in that apartment was as sexy as it sounded. Very sexy sounding stories out of that place. Anyway, we were sleeping at night and were suddenly blinded by lights from the street. From the damn film crew. At a ridiculous hour. Pissed me off more than anything else. And I never figured out what it was for.

I DO get a kick out of seeing my neighborhoods (I've lived in five while in New York) in movies though. Like when I saw my building in American Psycho. Right after he tries to feed the kitty to the ATM. Awesome. Christian Bale's hot bod was at one point just outside my window. Bliss.

Boys

2005-07-06T21:15:00.000-04:00

Turnip and I were having a discussion about the evils of boys.

"I hate how they can be totally adorable and then suck donkey balls and then act so adorable again that you can't remember why you thought they sucked donkey balls."

"EXACTLY"

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.

Walk it off, bitch

2005-06-22T10:15:00.000-04:00

This morning I have my first doctor's appointment in forever. And I am terrified. I am not really sure what I'm afraid of. That he'll tell me I'm the least healthy person in the world and I'll die on Tuesday? That he'll yell at me for never going to the doctor? That he'll be all doctory? The last time I saw a doctor (who wasn't a birth control prescribing girly doctor) was when I split my knee open. And I wasn't even going to go then. I was in my bathroom trying to push the fatty tissue back into my knee and pondering if I could use scotch tape instead of medical tape to put it all back together. And I called a friend to see if this was wise. And he said that if I was not at the ER when he got there, he was sending an ambulance for me. I needed six stitches and the doctor said scotch tape would NOT have worked.

I just come from a long line of folks who believe you can walk it off. Anything. Sprained ankles, kidney stones, shredded chins & knees. Though, Mom's gotten much better. Especially with the heart attack and all. The poor thing is even getting a colonoscopy today. Which will be far worse than my little wimpy physical, I'm sure. GO Mommy! So I will try and think of her. And suck it up. And go. Think happy thoughts for me. And Mom.

Update: I am a total pussy. The doctor's visit was a piece of cake. He was very nice and seemed intelligent and thorough. And apparently my medical history forms were very detailed (thanks for letting me know my maternal great-grandmother had type 1 diabetes, Mom). He even said I was one of the healthier people he's seen. Though I won't have my blood test results for a couple of weeks. But it was a good visit. He seemed a bit taken aback by my utter lack of doctor's visits in the past. But was pretty understanding about it. Though I did not tell him the above scotch tape tale. Might've pushed him over the edge. He also seemed to grasp my problems with insomnia and my weight and was not horrified by me at all. So that kinda rocked. Sheena recommended him so go her. And I would be more than happy to recommend him to anyone looking for a doctor in New York. Of course, I now have recommendations for dermatologists (you really should go about once a year), opthomologists (you really should have your eyes checked every few years or so), gynecologist (I'm looking for a new one) and dieticians (because my weight hasn't caused me health problems yet, but can in the future). So I have to get my courage up to make all those calls. Oh my. It is nice to finally be using my big piles of health insurance...

Air Conditioning Whore

2005-06-14T18:00:00.000-04:00

I don't own an air conditioner and I'm not really sure why. When I moved here I think Charlotte and I just figured we couldn't afford the machine itself and everyone always told us it cost so much in Con Ed bills. I also don't really remember feeling horribly hot those first couple of years in New York. Well, once. The day we moved from our first apartment to our second. One fourth floor walk up to another in late June/early July. It wasn't pretty and it took forever, even with some gracious friends helping. By the time we were done it was crazy late, crazy hot and the apartment was unlivable. So we went to Charlotte's boyfriend's place and relaxed in cool, air conditioned comfort.

After that I moved to Chelsea and had a shoebox with one window. Best bath tub I've ever had in New York, but it was small, had no cross-breeze and was SO HOT in the Summer. The one window was huge though, and I had a hard time finding an air conditioner that might fit in it. Plus, I feared the "Huge Electricity Bill" so many friends spoke of. So, I never got AC there either.

Then, Daddy and I moved in together and he said we were NOT living without AC. I was game. He'd probably buy the machine and then would split the "Huge Electricity Bill" with me. But our apartment had bars on them to prevent a child from falling out the window. And it took us MONTHS to get the super to remove them on one even window. I'm not quite sure why we didn't break down and attack the bars with a saw ourselves, but by the time we could put a machine in the window, it was Fall. The next Summer we figured we'd survived one NYC Summer without AC and could do it again. We're pretty but not too bright. Also, we lived in a huge, high-ceilinged loft and finding one machine that could reasonably cool that apartment down wasn't going to be easy. Or cheap.

Then, I moved to my first Brooklyn apartment. And I realized that the "Huge Electricity Bill" wasn't all that Huge and was certainly worth paying to keep cool. But I didn't have bars or anything on my front windows (the bedroom windows - where I would want the AC). They faced the street and I was on the first floor. And I worried that it would be so easy to pop out my AC and rob me blind sometime when I was at work. It really makes no sense, but there you go. Also, I'd gone so long without one it seemed strange to break down and finally get an air conditioner at that point. I think I started to believe I was some kind of Heat Surviving Badass instead of the more honest Moronic Heat Stroke Victim. "I survived Louisiana summers with mad crazy heat and humidity! New York has NOTHING I can't handle." Of course, I had AC in Louisiana.

Then I moved into my current apartment. It's basement level, but the kitchen window has the bars curved out far enough to fit an air conditioner back there. So there really isn't any big reason to not have one. I fuss about how if I plug up that window with an air conditioner I won't be able to get a cross breeze on days I don't want AC. And I'll need a big machine as I don't have doors in my apartment and will need something that can cool the whole place, not one room. Also, purchasing and lugging a huge machine to my apartment will be a pain. But really. I think I'm just in the habit of tossing and turning and whining about how hot I am. Because I am that silly.

Stop reading, Daddy.

I need to just buy one and put it in and pipe down. Because the lack of sleep is killing me. And yesterday I actually pondered whoring myself out just to sleep in air conditioned comfort. And the reason I didn't wasn't because it seemed wrong to exchange sex for a night's sleep with AC but because my potential johns/friends/whatever were not conveniently located. Going home and getting a change of clothes and then going there in this heat seemed annoying. Yeah. Need to go get a machine. Maybe Sunday.

Happy Hour

2005-06-10T15:15:00.000-04:00

Had a FABULOUS night with Rock Star Fran last night. Happy Hour at 2A and then a tipsy couple o' slices at Two Boots and hours and hours of girl talk. How can you top that? I mean, maybe if we'd ended the night in the hammock... but only Maggie seems to like hanging out in the hammock with me. We gossiped about boys, looked at photos of one of her recent European Tours (I had no idea there were so many cute Euro indie band boy types), complained about working for a living, talked about family and friends and the narcissism inherent in blogging. It was great. We talked a little bit about the kind of friendships where you don't have to be involved with a person regularly to still have a great connection with them.

Like how I don't get to see Fran nearly as much as I want to, but we can grab drinks and dinner and talk for hours and not want it to end. I actually don't get to see any of my friends as much as I'd like to. Work and life and geography and the limited 24 hours in a day prevent that. But it's so good to know that even if I don't get to see or talk to most of my friends on a daily, weekly, monthly or sometimes yearly basis we can still get together and have the same closeness and warmth and respect we've always had. Even with friends from long ago who have gone off and had lives completely different from mine. We can still appreciate the things we have in common and enjoy the differences.

I sometimes get the impression that my friends who are married with kids in someplace a little quieter than New York believe I find them boring or frumpy. Which couldn't be further from the truth. For one thing, my single New York 30something lifestyle is not as exciting as Sex and the City might lead you to believe. For another, I think where someone lives or their marital/parental status has very little to do with how exciting they are. I've recently gotten back in better contact with a couple of friends from early high school and I love seeing their kids and hearing about their lives. They have all kinds of fun stories. And I sometimes think they have more wild, exciting times than I do. And it's not like they think my life is empty and meaningless because I don't have a man or babies. We still have plenty in common and lots to talk about and laugh about.

Even with all the ups and downs, long absences, misunderstandings, miscommunication and the general mess that comes with having people in your life I am so grateful for my big ole pile of friends. Because I am a cornball.

Lawn Mowing

2005-06-09T10:30:00.000-04:00

When I was younger, my Dad would make me mow the lawn. Which was really very reasonable of him. I was a member of the household, chores had to be done, I was 14 or so and fully capable of pushing a lawn mower around. It wasn't even that hard. Just hot and sweaty and time consuming (we had a lovely large yard). But I have a bit of a Princessy attitude at times. And lawn mowing time brought it out like you would not believe. Oh the whining and the moaning and the pleading and the "Daddy!!!" that came out of me. I really should be embarrassed. And I am. Sorta. But not enough not to continue to do it.

After much begging and pleading and whining and such, I finally admitted to myself that no one else was going to mow my damn lawn and I was going to have to do it myself. So I came home. Sat around for a little bit hoping someone would call and say, "Kidding! Of course I'll mow your lawn, silly Amanda!" When that didn't happen I sacked up, put on my scruffies, went to the basement, brought out the lawn mower and mowed the damn lawn. It was hot and sweaty and painful. And I really am not so good at it yet. It's a little patchy I think. But it's done. And I can only get better in time. And hopefully if I do it once every week or two rather than once every month or two it might be easier, right? Anyway, I did it. And the grass is mostly low now. I even got out the clippers and attacked the tall stuff crowding my bushes. And made a half-ass attempt to clip the stuff around the edge of the yard. Then I rinsed off the mower, wiped it down and sprayed it with WD-40. And then I lay down in my hammock and pondered what a bad ass I am. Because I mowed my teeny tiny lawn. All by myself. Like millions of folks do each week. And yet are not the bad ass I am.

When I was about 15 I put on my bikini to go mow the lawn. On an Air Force base. In the South. At the age of 15. Daddy was not pleased. But I do not remember having to mow the lawn after that. Though the summer I turned 16 we moved to Hawai'i and didn't really have much of a mowable lawn after that so... maybe it wasn't the bikini. I like to believe it was the bikini and that I'm all sneaky and sly. Sadly, I don't think that's going to work here. And I'm going to be out there next Friday mowing it again before my backyard birthday party. Alas.

Because I am so awesome I also did some dishes and baked chocolate chip cookies last night. After mowing the lawn. You wish you could be so cool. And I wish I could have as much sleep as y'all probably did.

Let's Dance in style, let's dance for a while.

2005-06-07T16:45:00.000-04:00

Lately I've had a hankering to hear the song Forever Young. The one by Alphaville. I think it's partly because I'm not entirely happy with my relationships right now. Any of them. Well, a couple of them have had good moments of late. But no more than two or three.

Some of it's probably me, some of it's my friends. I don't know. I honestly don't care. I'm just pissed. I feel very unwanted right now. Needed, yes. Used, played, tolerated, handled, patronized, and probably loved, sure. But not wanted. And I'm the kind of person who would rather be wanted and liked than needed. I would rather have people tell me they love me, they love being with me. I like compliments. Specific ones. Not, "you're responsible or useful or there or a good listener or somehow capable in a way that helps me." Not something generic like, "you're fun, funny, friendly, nice, whatever." Something specific to me and my awesomeness. Because while I am flawed and will probably always have room to grow and things I want to work on and traits that people just don't like; I do believe I'm awesome. And I don't really think anyone else knows this right now. And it's pissing me off. But, that's neither here nor there, really. Sometimes people suck. Sometimes people are shitty friends. It happens. Whatever.

There ARE times when people don't suck. Sometimes there are perfect moments of contentment with friends. And so many of those moments stay with me. Some memories are stronger than others at different times. But when they're strong I can remember them so clearly it's almost like I'm still there.

Once, long ago in high school, MeatBoy, FlyBoy, Felicia and I went to Waimanalo Beach. No special reason. Just because. We went swimming and goofed around and probably had a picnic or something. I don't recall.

I do remember FlyBoy and Felicia going down to the edge of the water to build a sand castle while MeatBoy and I stayed up near the trees listening to some mix MeatBoy had made.

It was a gorgeous day. Sunny. Beautiful blue skies. Hot, but with a strong enough breeze that it felt cooler. Lots of families were out on the beach and you could hear folks playing in the water, the waves hitting the shore, birds now and again, the wind through the trees. At one point I laid down and put my head in MeatBoy's lap. He started playing with my hair and I love when people play with my hair. It feels so good. So, I just laid there thinking about how amazing life was. I was in Hawai'i on a beach on one of the most beautiful days I've ever seen. I was with friends I could feel comfortable with to the point where we just were there together. No deep conversation was had, no one needed anything, I didn't feel like I had to be entertaining or charming. We were just there together. MeatBoy and I weren't really even talking, and we could hear FlyBoy and Felicia giggling and goofing around with their castle. And then MeatBoy said that I would love the next song on the mix. It was Forever Young. And it was perfect in that moment. At some point in the song FlyBoy and Felicia came up and started building a pyramid on my legs. You know, because I was laying still and there was sand so why wouldn't you do that? And we were all happy and enjoying the day and enjoying being together. So now, every time I hear that song I think about that day and it makes me feel a little bit like I did then.

A few years later Felicia decided that I was not a good friend and dropped out of my life. MeatBoy and I still see each other a couple of times a year and FlyBoy and I stay in touch with the occasional email. But none of us have the same relationships with each other that we did then. But it was so good then. And I'm so grateful for that time. And all those other times that trigger similar feelings of peace and total happiness.

Keeps me going during the crap times while I wait for people to be more appreciative and me to be more accepting of the way the world works.

Why would you want my Number? (don't read, Daddy)

2005-06-07T11:30:00.000-04:00

So, a total stranger saw me walking to the train this morning, turned around, chased me down and introduced himself. Then asked me for my number.*

I honestly had no idea what to do. I HATE giving out my number. I'm actually more willing to go home with someone than give them my number (sorry, Mom). I've done it before (given out my number, and, um, well, I've also gone home with someone I didn't give my number to (sorry again, Mom)), but it feels weird. Giving out my phone number. Going home with someone feels awesome (sorry again, Mom). Usually I only do it because I'm drunk, in a panic or so totally amused by the situation that I cannot help myself. Like the time the guy driving the 1 train asked me for my number. He was so cute and I was so amused I couldn't help myself. And, um, that ended up working out real well for me for a few weeks. Heh. But, back to my little dilemma.

Is it okay to give out my number to someone one the street that I don't know at all? We didn't get to chat in a bar for a little bit or meet through friends or even chat on a train for a while. Nothing. He looked kinda cute and told me his name, but that was it. And really, why would he ask for my number? What makes you ask someone for their number. I don't think I've actually ever asked for someone's number so I have no clue. And it's not like I look devastatingly beautiful today. It's not even one of my "pretty days". I must look easy. God, that's totally it. I put a little mascara on and have my ass swinging iPod listening walk going and I look like a total ho. I don't wanna look like a ho. Dammit.

I should've given him my number, huh? It's not like I've never ignored a boy who called me before. I'm so odd. I cannot date. I'm completely incapable.

*This is not the first time this has happened on my morning commute. Why must people ask for my number before I have had coffee? It seems unwise.