So, I was poking around Wesleyan's alumni website tonight to track down the spelling of some guy's name. I'm a little anal retentive about photo labeling and wanted to get this person's name right. I didn't find him because the site is a little wonky, but then I thought I'd log into my old email account and see if it still worked. And it does. And I had email in there dating back to June of 1996. As well as some old email messages I guess I saved or something, some from 1994 even.

It was so weird. Emails from friends I never knew I'd gotten, career center emails I'd never seen, some really cute Happy Birthday emails I never knew about. A bunch of stuff I wish I'd gotten. People remembered my birthday and I never knew. And old boyfriend emails. Those always get'cha. Oh god do they get you. Well, they got me. Hard. And there were lots of emails from Pumpkin about life at Davis. Flirty emails from old flirty friends who are now married and no longer flirty with me. Some emails regarding my time as President of Alpha Delt. Also a couple from the parents. Apparently my mother used to sign emails to me with a b. rather than Mom or Mother or something. Odd. Think folks would find it strange if I responded to emails that were 5 or 8 years old? Yeah?

It's been a week of nostalgia for me. Not sure why. Maybe being 30 and all, wondering about where my life has been and where I am and where I'm going. I think I'm just a little out of sorts because I hadn't saved the world by now like I always thought I would. I suppose there's still time, but I don't know if I have the energy for it anymore. Or maybe I just know better now. And you can never save the world when you know better.

I miss the old me. Not that the current me is bad or anything, but I miss the old me.