Friday, May 28, 2004

Friday Report of Doom

Today has been so upsetting and insane that I just bought myself a lawn Flamingo from the Oriental Trading Company. As well as a $6 tiara. And a flamingo for Lovey. This is what today has driven me too. Half our team is on vacation so my Friday workload has DOUBLED. You would think that wouldn't be possible with the insanity that is our Econ team's Friday report. But you would be wrong. I cannot tell you. And almost everyone has already gone home because it's a holiday weekend. Pain, angst. I haven't had time to work on Ed's Shirt or Birthday Week or pee or anything. And so, I purchased a Lawn Flamingo. It comes with outfits. It comes with a hula skirt and a rain slicker.

I feel all better now.

VIVA FLAMINGO!!!!!

Thursday, May 27, 2004

I feel like ass

Lovey came in to work late on Tuesday, all sick and stuff. She left early. She still had time to get me sick unfortunately. And since half the group is out I can't come in late or leave early or anything like that. So, I'm pouting today. Be very grateful you don't work near me. Because the pout, she is fearful.

Staples has moved in around the corner. It's not good. Not good at all. I'm an office supply whore and cannot resist the call of pens and paper and colored paperclips (who the hell needs colored paperclips, really). I went yesterday and got blank CDs and 100 jewel cases and pages for printing CD labels and coin wrappers and even got a staples saver card or something so I can collect points. And some folder things. I went in to get a CD mailer to send Ed's Shirt photos to the awesome webpage creating Fishboy. That's all I went to get. And I did get some. But dang! I need help. Therapy of some sort. Do they offer group therapy for this disease?

My iPod is back and better than ever and I'd be really happy about it if I wasn't so sick. Okay, I'm actually still really happy about it but I am not energetic enough to show that yet. But I will. Don't worry.

And I've finally taken some time off from Ed's Shirt to focus a little more on Birthday Week. No one seems to want to root for the Yankees with me on the 11th so I might be redoing the kick off event. Something else involving beer I guess. I really do hope folks show up to Birthday Week. I'm having a totally insecure paranoia moment that everyone I know thinks I'm a raging egomaniacal freakshow and will stay far away from me from June 11 - 20th. Heh. I blame the sick.

Ed's Shirt has more Friendsters than I do and I'm Ed's Shirt's freakin' manager type whatever. So depressing. A shirt is more popular than I am. You still love me more than Ed's Shirt, right Mommy?

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

iPod

It's back! My baby is back! Yay! It's downloading all my songs again as I type this. Bliss. My baby is back in my hot little hands.

Can you imagine a world where you had to choose between your iPod and your Tivo? Or something like that? How horrible.

What a spoiled, spoiled princess I am.

Doctor, Doctor

I think I picked up a tapeworm at Wesleyan or something. Seriously, I'm hungry almost all the time. I'll eat a meal and then be ravenous again 20 minutes later. Really not so good as I am trying to lose weight and all. Dammit. Well, the eating all the time thing isn't so good that is. Maybe the tapeworm isn't so bad. Do tapeworms help you lose weight? They look kinda gross though. The hookworm? Have you seen it? Ew.

Okay, I don't really think I have a tapeworm. But I should probably get a physical. I haven't gone to a Doctor in so long. I come from the "walk it off" kinda people. I once tried to scotch tape together a wound that had fatty tissue coming out of it. A friend's promise to meet me there and his threat to call 911 if I didn't show up was the only thing getting me to the ER that day.

But I'm turning 30. It's probably time to start getting check ups and having official type people yell at me that I'm seriously overweight and telling me that I don't have a tapeworm and letting me know what that rash on my foot is and so on and so forth. So, my goal is to set that up before the end of June. Anyone have a physician they like who takes my insurance? Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield. I'm taking recommendations now. I also need a new girly doctor. Any recommendations on that front are also welcome. Oh, and a dentist. Anyone have a dentist they like who'll take my insurance? Fuck if I can remember what dental plan I'm on. Heh.

Man. Going to a doctor. I'm getting old.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Have a Great Summer!

Today was my last reading buddy day of the school year. And so I'm a little sad. Little Beyonce and I drank blue Capri Sun and ate donuts. And her little friend joined us. Her friend sometimes joins us because her adult reading buddy is a tool and sometimes just doesn't show up. Which sucks. When that happens she joins us and we read and giggle and play hangman - where they put the names of their boyfriends as the word. Heh. Today we read Chapter One of Judy Blume's Blubber. Everyone agreed that the other fifth graders were very mean and we all felt bad for poor Linda/Blubber. I also got a couple cute pictures of Beyonce and her friend as well as one of just me and Beyonce.

We did have a bit of an odd moment. Beyonce had a few of those rubber bracelets that were all the rage when I was 10 and are now making a fierce comeback. She and her buddy were explaining to me that Beyonce's bracelets didn't mean anything but that the older kids, like the high school kids, refer to them as sex bracelets and different colors mean different things. Like black means sex and light blue means french kissing and lapdances. My god. I had a 10-year old say lapdances to me. But we all agreed that the sex bracelet thing was very stupid and that high schoolers are stupid and that they're just bracelets.

Since when do french kisses = lap dances? Huh? Since when?

I usually feel uncomfortable in such discussions with kids. I don't want to freak out and make it bigger than it is. But it's such a touchy subject with someone else's kids. If they were kids that I was related to and had any sort of control over or guardian type role with I could just be frank and normal. But you can't just be frank about sex with someone else's kids. Especially when you only see them about 30 times a year. So, I try to just gloss it over and move on to something else as best I can. I am glad that they agree that sex bracelets is a dumb idea. Because, well, it is.

Speaking of Dumb Ideas... This Ed's Shirt thing has gone mad. Pimp Daddy and I have been fussing with Ed'sShirt's Friendster profile for the past couple of days. Fishboy is setting up Whereisedsshirt.com and is working on "Where Is Ed's Shirt?" shirts (awesome idea I think). Muffaletta is wandering around New Orleans showing Ed's Shirt the sites. It's all really very exciting. And silly. Though I am wondering when it will be a good time to reveal all of this to the Ed of Ed's Shirt fame. Maybe it's best just not to and wait see if someone else does it. I wondered if it would just end with 50 or so photos of people wearing Ed's Shirt at Reunion this past weekend. That's apparently not the case. Heh.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Dirty, dirty blog

Someone this weekend apparently stumbled onto my blog while searching for "undressed in front of my auntie". This is not a dirty blog. These searches make me feel dirty. I don't believe I've been undressed in front of an auntie since I was about 5. Or so. I don't know. I was actually a pretty naked child until I was about 10 maybe. Or later. Mom knows better. Yeah, anyway...

A friend of mine from early high school in Louisiana (let's call her Princess Pointy Butt) and I wrote a couple songs my sophomore year. One of them stemmed from the fact we would say, "anyway..." all the time. I think she said it once and I said anywhere and she said anysomething else and so on and so forth. And we started doing this all the time. So we wrote "Anyway, Anywhere, Anyhow, Any Position". As well as "Let me Be Your Fuck Toy".* Because we were complete dorks with way too much time on our hands. I wonder if I still have the lyrics somewhere. I really am just a constant embarrassment to myself aren't I? This must be part of the reason I scored so low on the 'shameless' portion of that goofy purity test. I just don't care enough that most folks think I'm a jackass as long as the ones I love realize the awesomeness that lurks below the idiocy.

This weekend was good. I had a great time but am exhausted. Sorta. Not nearly enough sleep. It's just fun to be surrounded by lots of interesting people whom I like, so I feel like I need to stay up late and enjoy them and get up early and enjoy them. Not that my New York friends aren't fabulous, but they just aren't all so concentrated for so long usually. At Wes's reunion there's always someone doing something, even if it's just sitting on the porch. And if some move on or want to do something else there's always another group handy that's just as fun. Kinda like college was but without the classes and things I guess.


*Disclaimer: We were 15 and 16 and had NO CLUE what we were talking about, really. And this is so going to get me more dirty search hits isn't it? Ugh.