A friend of mine just called to tell me his grandmother died. And I just feel so bad for him. It brings back all the memories of when my grandfather died last Spring. And it makes me want to cry. Thinking about my Mom losing her final parent. Thinking about how my Dad already had. Being glad that Grandpa John was out of pain and wasn't suffering but more just wishing he was healthy and alive and with me.

I hope he's okay. I wish there was something I could do. But there wasn't really anything anyone could do for me whenever I lost someone. Though I guess the little things help. When my first grandparent died some of my friends got together and made a donation in her name to the American Cancer Society. And it really touched me. That while I was down in Alabama with my family they would get together and do this for me and for her. I don't hold a high opinion of people in general most of the time, but that really was pretty awesome. I just wish I could think of what to do for my friends in times like these. Mostly I feel helpless.

Bon Jovi is mixing it up with Aerosmith

So, last night I was going to clean the apartment, pop some more songs on the iPod and futz with my scanner software. But no, Muffy had to come and get her coat and then we absolutely had to watch Top Gun. See, I try to be good and right and productive and that Muffy and Steph always come along and mess me up with the drinking and the sinning and the movie watching. Bad, bad Muffy & Steph.

Anyway, Muffy hadn't seen Top Gun in years and figured it was time. Hmph! She kept complaining about too much testosterone and how they were ALWAYS sweating in every scene. She even said that the macho stuff was distracting from the hotness of the boys. At one point when they're flying the planes and being all sexy with controling the big, fast, powerful machines she turned to me to clarify the point of this extended scene. Oh Muffy...

But she is considerably better than my Mom. Yesterday Mom was saying she'd seen the movie again recently and really didn't think it was worth much of a second viewing. I was all, 'but the volleyball scene was worth it, yeah?' Mom's response? "What volleyball scene? I don't remember a volleyball scene?" Yes, I have disowned her. How can we be related? It's so hot with the buff and the topless and the sweaty and the flexing and the jumping and the sand and oh my. At least Muffy had the good sense to watch it with me a couple of times. And made not a single complaint about sweat or testosterone. She just enjoyed the hotness. And then we continued our discussion of just what happened to Tom Cruise. How did he go from Top Gun hot to... well... whatever he is now. We have some theories to explore.

Then we watched some of the Dirty Dancing extras like the Jennifer Grey screen test and the music videos. We watched the trailer, made some "I carried a watermelon" jokes and decided we had enough time to watch the whole dang thing. And so we did. And there was much loving of the Swayze body and mocking of the sister and the creepy boys and the bad dancing and loving of the good dancing and the Swayze bod and the good daddy moments and the Swayze bod and the Swayze dancing and the awesome seduction scene and there was lots of 'SQUEEEEE' going on. Ah, good times. Such a fabulous movie. Such a girl of my generation movie. Man, I remember when I wore shorts just like Baby's and whole outfits like that and the Keds without sox and listening to the soundtrack cassettes a million times and thinking that She's Like the Wind was an okay song (before realizing that she was like the wind through his TREE!?!?!?!?) and that horrible Dirty Dancing dance tour which I never saw but loved that it existed... Ah, Dirty Dancing.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

Ex Attack

What is it about March 2nd? I keep bumping into other people's exes. If any of mine start crawling out of the woodwork I'll lose it. I always liked the way Miranda put it in an early episode of Sex and the City. Something about how odd it is when people are friends with their exes and how she feels, 'you and I didn't work out, you need to not exist now.' Anyway...

Yesterday I ran into a friend's recent ex. She hates me and generally tried to keep him from ever speaking to me. And yet, when she saw me on the street yesterday morning she actually flagged me down and chatted at me for 10 minutes. I couldn't even think to flee because I kept thinking, "YOU HATE ME?!?!?!?" But then I snapped to and said I had to get to work. Muffy and I are going to practice later so that if it happens again I'll be prepared and can say, "You hate me, why are we chatting?" and then walk away. Cranky as I am and as bad an attitude as I have, I spent too much of my childhood with an Air Force Wife or something because the fake nice thing just pops up 9 times out of 10. I wonder if she reads this. Hmmmmmm....

Anyway, then last night I got an email from a friend's fairly recent ex. He's a really sweet guy and all, but he's my friend's ex and we really can't be friends otherwise. So I have to figure a nice way to say that to him. Another friend's ex once long ago thought we could all stay friends. Strange. I hope he doesn't read this...

See, dating is just such a frustrating activity in so many ways. This is reason #742 why I do not do it. The Exes. Tomorrow, we'll discuss reason #275, the care and maintenance of boys.

*Still enjoying the Aerosmith too much but am taking a moment to enjoy the random song feature on the iPod. Loving that. Bon Jovi thinks my love is like a Bad Medicine. Awesome, yes? Love the iPod, pops. Woo.

Five

I feel like a little pissy five year old right now. I HATE when I get like this, but I haven't found a good way to shake it yet, other than riding it out. I'm cranky at everyone. I'm bored and want something to do and yet I have a ton of work things I need to do as well as other stuff. Yet I don't feel like doing any of that so I think about how I'm bored and cranky. Because, really, that's the more productive choice.

And every little thing sets me off in a fussy little fit. In my mind. I generally try not to throw fussy little fits at work. I actually try not to throw them at all, but I'm only so strong. So right now I'm throwing a whole bunch of pissy little fits in my mind, mad at myself and some coworkers and crappy friends and just thinking how I need a nap. Because I'm five. And naps help the five year olds with their pissy fits.

God, I need to grow up. Off to be productive. And listen to Twisted Sister. 'Cause five year olds LOVE singing 'We're not gonna take it!'. We do. Honest!

Spring? Maybe?

So very tired. Muffy and Steph made me drink lots and lots of wine and some cognac last night and forced me to stay up late and watch the Oscars. Mean, mean people. I'm hoping to get to class tonight but it might kill me. Ugh. Bad, bad Muffy & Steph.

Actually the weekend was kinda nice. Friday was cold as always, but when I finally dressed myself and ran some errands Saturday afternoon it was GORGEOUS out. So I went out for a lovely long walk (with Aerosmith, yes) around the 'hood. Went to the promenade and it was lovely. Tons of folks out enjoying the warm weather and the view of Manhattan sparkling in the sun (I love the shiny shiny Chrysler Building, myself). It felt good to be outside again and enjoying it. Not just curled up in my coat pondering the possibility that I might never be warm again. I hate that pondering. Then the rest of the day was spent putzing with the iPod, watching the TiVo and napping. How cool of a day is that? So cool.

Yesterday Muff, Steph and I went to the MALL! They can call it the Time Warner Center or THE SHOPS at Columbus Circle all they want, but it's a freaking mall. Though I don't remember seeing a GAP... It was fun, but not the greatest mall. Not much in the way of cheesy stores (like Claire's Accessories, ba-bee) and not much in the way of shoe stores. Plus, aside from the William-Sonoma store a lot of the shops were kinda small. The Sephora didn't even have anything Muffy and I wanted. But we were able to get Oscar snacks and wine at Whole Foods and I finally got to experience this Jamba Juice that my LA folks babble on so much about. Not bad. Smoothies are good. Better with vodka, but you can't have everything. So, not sure yet how I feel about the new Mall at Columbus Circle. We'll have to do another visit after the CT Mall visit later this month.

I'm listening to my Big Hair Monster Metal CD right now. Loving it, but will have to switch back to Aerosmith soon. "Here I go Again"... Whitesnake - ahhh Tawny Kitaen. What a crush I had on her.