I'm not a big one for celebrity gossip. I enjoy hearing about it and I skim all kinds of celeb blogs. I'm a fan of pop culture and all that. But I don't actually care about most of the gossip. It's sad when people break up or die or go to jail or fall off the wagon or whatever, but I have enough people in my life who need my care and attention and love and sympathy. Okay, that sounds cold. Man, I really am dead inside. It's not that I'm cold and uncaring, I just figure they have folks to worry about them. If they need me they can find me and call me but otherwise I'm not going to feel more than a, "huh, that sucks" for people I don't know and/or can't help.
Anyway, my whole point is that I'm actually a little bit sad about Estelle Getty. Like really sad and not just sad in passing for her family and friends.
Anyone who knows me and Vader even a little bit should know our MAD LOVE for the Golden Girls. We've seen all the episodes a million times (bless you Lifetime Television for Women and your six hours of GG a day). We quote them or reference them all the time. I smile every time the Go Fug Yourself girls mention one of Blanche's caftan's or Dorothy's special style of dressing. Even my poor father has been subjected to a episode or two when he's been in town. And I totally hope that when I hit a certain age I'll be living with friends and eating cheesecake and talking about all the dirty sex we're having (finally, after you've gone, Daddy, I might think about having sex) and getting into inane fights and hitting each other on the head with newspapers and stuff like that. So, I'm sad that the woman who brought Sofia to life is gone. And that she had to battle an illness for a long time before.
So, this Sunday Vader and I are going to get together and have a little Estelle Memorial. We're going to watch "Flu Attack" (my favorite GG episode) and "The Case of the Libertine Belle" (Vader's favorite episode) as well as a few others. We'll probably throw in a viewing of Mannequin. And we'll eat cheesecake and some kind of Sophia food that involves red sauce. Or maybe we'll just have ear salve on pasta. And it'll be awesome.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
David Lynch goes to Boston Market
Vader, Bon Jovi and I went to Maggie's house in NH for Fourth of July weekend. We had a lovely time. It's a beautiful house and area and Maggie is a gracious host. Though she could rival my Mamaw in the pushing of food. I think she's going to make an excellent grandma in 30 years or so. But, it was a lovely weekend and I'm glad I went.
Anyway, in order to get to NH we rented a car in Brooklyn and drove all the way up there. I warned Maggie that we would arrive late and quite punchy from being in a car for so long. But even I didn't realize what a road trip it would end up being.
We started out okay, but with lots of traffic. There were a lot of people getting off the East Norwalk exit. Vader thought this was because they were all going to the Yankee Doodle Ranch. We had to break her heart a little by pointing out she misread the sign and it was really Yankee Doodle Bridge. We were all a little sad there is no Yankee Doodle Ranch.
Maggie called us a time or two from the road. She left Boston about the same time we left Brooklyn, and seemed a little surprised we were so far behind her drivingwise. She wanted to know why we weren't on I495 at one point. Vader pointed out we would be, in about two hours. I suspect she was just really excited to see us and have us see the house. But it seemed like she thought we'd all arrive around the same time.
Somewhere in Connecticut we were all getting a little hungry and Vader had to pee. So, we took the next exit promising gas and food. The vegetarian vetoed Burger King and KFC, the diabetic vetoed Duncan Donuts. That left us with Boston Market. Oh my.
We walked in and it was strangely quiet. Like really, creepily quiet. There were a few folks behind the counter and a couple of customers already there. But everyone was moving very slowly. And very quietly. Vader, Bon Jovi and I all started talking to each other in a whisper, and then sort of stopped speaking at all not long after after we went inside. There was a VERY pregnant woman ahead of us in line and she was asking the guy behind the counter (kinda cute, but hunched over the whole time we were there, he never stood up once) about the $4.99 specials advertised in the window. He looked at her blankly for a bit and then suggested the Side Sampler (which was priced at $5.99). She asked if they had a list of the $4.99 specials. "Nope." He didn't tell her what the $4.99 specials were, but didn't say they didn't have $4.99 specials either. Very strange.
The pregnant woman told us to go ahead while she just hung out looking at the menu and the sides displayed under the plexiglass. I believe she was still there when we finally left.
I ordered the Side Sampler with mashed potatoes, mac & cheese (also known as spiral pasta and yellow liquid) and green beans. I had to wait a moment or two for the "mac" & "cheese" to be brought out. The woman in front of me was waiting on corn. Every so often she would ask how long until the corn would be ready. Every time a couple of the workers would react by being vaguely surprised there was no corn, announcing they needed corn and responding that someone was getting corn. But no one ever told her when the corn was coming. Until eventually corn came. I think.
As the cute hunched over counter guy was packing up my food he said, "would you like this to go?"
Amanda: "No. I, um, want to stay."
CHOCG: "We're closing at 9."
Amanda (seeing that it's 8:52): "So, I guess I have to get it to go."
CHOCG: "I'm not saying that."
CHOCG: "But we're closing at 9."
Amanda: "We'll take it to go."
At some point a few other people came in. One woman with a full leg cast and crutches. A very strange looking couple. The pregnant woman still hanging out, letting people get in front of her. The line grew behind us. And yet it was still very, very quiet. And everyone was moving very, very slowly. Customers and workers.
I was in line to pay and wanted to make sure Vader and I got our cornbread with our Side Samplers. One worker showed it to me in a bag. Then another worker came around and tossed it in the larger bag of the person behind us (the woman waiting on corn). Vader then came up to me, asked me to pay for her food handed her wallet to me and said, "I have to..." and then wandered off. I demanded more cornbread. I have no idea why, but I was obsessed with making sure we got our cornbread. Paying took long enough that Vader was back from the bathroom by the time I made it to the drink station. It was very sticky on the walk from the cash register to the drink station. And as quiet as it was you could hear me pry my foot off the floor with each step.
At the drink station Vader was mesmerized by the two 2 liter bottles of Coke. At first she wondered if they just poured it into the soda fountain. I pointed out the coke lever was probably broken and people were to serve themselves. She didn't say anything, but kept pointing at the bottles. Later she said she was just concerned about health code violations. We got our sodas and met up with Bon Jovi and headed to the car. They locked the doors as soon as we left. Even though other people were still inside.
Apparently while we were getting drinks, Bon Jovi was insisting that he did NOT want his cornbread. But the cashier kept pushing it on him. At one point the couple behind him asked if THEY could have his cornbread. We don't know if the cashier let them have it or not.
So, we get outside and there is nowhere to eat our food. And Boston Market is NOT the kind of food you can eat while driving. Someone did leave an almost full and still cold enough the bottle was sweating Mike's Hard Lemonade in the parking spot next to us. We opted not to drink it. Anyway, we sat in the car eating mashed potatoes and sweet potato souffle (apparently largely just mashed sweet potatoes with brown sugar rocks on top) and really bad cornbread. Laughing, sweating and watching at least 8 different cop cars go through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru across the street. While we were there a couple different cars pulled up and people got out only to get back in when they saw the Boston Market was closed. At one point a red mini van pulled up with a woman talking very animatedly in the driver's seat. We couldn't see a phone or anything and thought she was talking to herself. Until a very, very short man got out of the passenger seat. We couldn't even see him when he was in the van. And we decided then it was VERY Lynchian. I don't think the guy was actually a little person, but he was pretty small and looked to be an adult. And it was all just such a weird experience with all the quiet and the strange people and everyone speaking and moving so slowly...
We finally finished our food and were ready to head out. But there wasn't a trash can for as far as the eye could see. At least on our side of the road. So, we bagged it all up and got onto the highway, pulling into the CVS when we spotted a trash can. Bon Jovi got back in the car and informed us there was already a pile of Boston Market trash in the CVS trash can. Heh. Awesome.
So, we hit the road once again. Maggie checked in from time to time, Bon Jovi supplied awesome tunes (Blondie, Bon Jovi, Rick Springfield, etc) and we did well until I got ired. Between laughing over Boston Market and just being pooped I started to lose focus on the road. Not a good thing So, we looked for a place to pull over so Vader could take on driving duties. We saw a sign for a rest area and pulled over.
Now, most rest areas have at least a bathroom, some lights, picnic tables, something. This one was just wooded area and some parking spots. You should also know that Vader hates nature and the woods and all of that. Okay, I'm not sure she actually hates nature, but she's afraid of it. She's convinced nature or axe murderers or some such are going to come out of the dark and murder her. In a violent and painful manner. Lots of people have this fear, but hers is a bit grander than most. So, we pull up into a spot with dark woods on one side and a couple of dark parked trucks. Sh e jumped out of the car, ran over to the driver's seat and got in, locking her door as quickly as possible. I wasn't paying much attention and got out of the car to dump some more trash (there WAS a trashcan nearby) and stretch my legs. Until Vader and Bon Jovi threatened to leave my ass there if I didn't get in the car 'RIGHT THIS MINUTE.' Between Boston Market and this stop it we decided I'm not allowed to pick any more of our stops. Though the sleeping truckers did give us a nice long conversation about trucks, Modern Marvels, truck stop hookers, Lifetime-esque movies about truck stop hookers and a little look into my bizarre psyche.
Things went along smoothly until we hit NH. I was in the middle of some story or talking point and I saw the welcome sign. My first instinct was to say "Welcome to New Hampshire" to the car. Really, that was my intent when I stopped mid sentence. What came out of my mouth was an extremely loud, rather angry, "LIVE FREE OR DIE, BITCHES!!!" that scared Vader, Bon Jovi, me and possibly any other cars within a 100 feet of us. It was very bizarre. And I think that was the moment we broke poor Bon Jovi.
Not long after we hit the town which hosts Maggie's lake house. We pulled out her instructions and learned that they were thorough and correct, but really only useful in daylight. In the dead of night without street lights or house lights it's very hard to make out fields and meadows and farmhouses and such. But, we made it almost to the house when we ended up on Hemlock Lane. And hit a dead end. The Soundtrack from Grease 2 was on the stereo, Vader was freaking out because the nature is dark and scary all around us and all Bon Jovi could do was sing "Wa a a" from "Girl for All Seasons" over and over again. Well, until he saw a house with four guys hanging out inside. He wanted us to just drop him off there, but we didn't think having Bon Jovi ringing a doorbell at 1:30AM in a remote part of NH singing "Wa a a" would end well. Also, while she called us several times over the course of the drive, now that we were lost and needed her we couldn't get her on the phone. I know now that her house isn't in a great service area and her phone wasn't ringing but at the time there was a lot of swearing. So, Vader is in the car freaking out thinking nature is going to kill us, Bon Jovi is singing "Wa a a" on a constant loop and I'm swearing up a storm. Don't you so wish you were there?
We turned back around and right before the turn saw the house number on a tree and also on the house. We weren't sure it was the right street, but with the proper number we figured we'll chance it. There were lights on in the house unlike most others. We got to the front door and Bon Jovi wouldn't go in. He claimed he'd "seen this movie" and thought he'd be shot. I would've barged right in, but I was at the back of the group. Finally we saw Maggie's cat coming towards the door and knew we're in the right place. At which point we stumbled in with all our crap and promptly freak out Maggie and her friend with our inane babbling. And Bon Jovi's "Wa a a"'s.
So, who's with us for the NEXT road trip?
Anyway, in order to get to NH we rented a car in Brooklyn and drove all the way up there. I warned Maggie that we would arrive late and quite punchy from being in a car for so long. But even I didn't realize what a road trip it would end up being.
We started out okay, but with lots of traffic. There were a lot of people getting off the East Norwalk exit. Vader thought this was because they were all going to the Yankee Doodle Ranch. We had to break her heart a little by pointing out she misread the sign and it was really Yankee Doodle Bridge. We were all a little sad there is no Yankee Doodle Ranch.
Maggie called us a time or two from the road. She left Boston about the same time we left Brooklyn, and seemed a little surprised we were so far behind her drivingwise. She wanted to know why we weren't on I495 at one point. Vader pointed out we would be, in about two hours. I suspect she was just really excited to see us and have us see the house. But it seemed like she thought we'd all arrive around the same time.
Somewhere in Connecticut we were all getting a little hungry and Vader had to pee. So, we took the next exit promising gas and food. The vegetarian vetoed Burger King and KFC, the diabetic vetoed Duncan Donuts. That left us with Boston Market. Oh my.
We walked in and it was strangely quiet. Like really, creepily quiet. There were a few folks behind the counter and a couple of customers already there. But everyone was moving very slowly. And very quietly. Vader, Bon Jovi and I all started talking to each other in a whisper, and then sort of stopped speaking at all not long after after we went inside. There was a VERY pregnant woman ahead of us in line and she was asking the guy behind the counter (kinda cute, but hunched over the whole time we were there, he never stood up once) about the $4.99 specials advertised in the window. He looked at her blankly for a bit and then suggested the Side Sampler (which was priced at $5.99). She asked if they had a list of the $4.99 specials. "Nope." He didn't tell her what the $4.99 specials were, but didn't say they didn't have $4.99 specials either. Very strange.
The pregnant woman told us to go ahead while she just hung out looking at the menu and the sides displayed under the plexiglass. I believe she was still there when we finally left.
I ordered the Side Sampler with mashed potatoes, mac & cheese (also known as spiral pasta and yellow liquid) and green beans. I had to wait a moment or two for the "mac" & "cheese" to be brought out. The woman in front of me was waiting on corn. Every so often she would ask how long until the corn would be ready. Every time a couple of the workers would react by being vaguely surprised there was no corn, announcing they needed corn and responding that someone was getting corn. But no one ever told her when the corn was coming. Until eventually corn came. I think.
As the cute hunched over counter guy was packing up my food he said, "would you like this to go?"
Amanda: "No. I, um, want to stay."
CHOCG: "We're closing at 9."
Amanda (seeing that it's 8:52): "So, I guess I have to get it to go."
CHOCG: "I'm not saying that."
CHOCG: "But we're closing at 9."
Amanda: "We'll take it to go."
At some point a few other people came in. One woman with a full leg cast and crutches. A very strange looking couple. The pregnant woman still hanging out, letting people get in front of her. The line grew behind us. And yet it was still very, very quiet. And everyone was moving very, very slowly. Customers and workers.
I was in line to pay and wanted to make sure Vader and I got our cornbread with our Side Samplers. One worker showed it to me in a bag. Then another worker came around and tossed it in the larger bag of the person behind us (the woman waiting on corn). Vader then came up to me, asked me to pay for her food handed her wallet to me and said, "I have to..." and then wandered off. I demanded more cornbread. I have no idea why, but I was obsessed with making sure we got our cornbread. Paying took long enough that Vader was back from the bathroom by the time I made it to the drink station. It was very sticky on the walk from the cash register to the drink station. And as quiet as it was you could hear me pry my foot off the floor with each step.
At the drink station Vader was mesmerized by the two 2 liter bottles of Coke. At first she wondered if they just poured it into the soda fountain. I pointed out the coke lever was probably broken and people were to serve themselves. She didn't say anything, but kept pointing at the bottles. Later she said she was just concerned about health code violations. We got our sodas and met up with Bon Jovi and headed to the car. They locked the doors as soon as we left. Even though other people were still inside.
Apparently while we were getting drinks, Bon Jovi was insisting that he did NOT want his cornbread. But the cashier kept pushing it on him. At one point the couple behind him asked if THEY could have his cornbread. We don't know if the cashier let them have it or not.
So, we get outside and there is nowhere to eat our food. And Boston Market is NOT the kind of food you can eat while driving. Someone did leave an almost full and still cold enough the bottle was sweating Mike's Hard Lemonade in the parking spot next to us. We opted not to drink it. Anyway, we sat in the car eating mashed potatoes and sweet potato souffle (apparently largely just mashed sweet potatoes with brown sugar rocks on top) and really bad cornbread. Laughing, sweating and watching at least 8 different cop cars go through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru across the street. While we were there a couple different cars pulled up and people got out only to get back in when they saw the Boston Market was closed. At one point a red mini van pulled up with a woman talking very animatedly in the driver's seat. We couldn't see a phone or anything and thought she was talking to herself. Until a very, very short man got out of the passenger seat. We couldn't even see him when he was in the van. And we decided then it was VERY Lynchian. I don't think the guy was actually a little person, but he was pretty small and looked to be an adult. And it was all just such a weird experience with all the quiet and the strange people and everyone speaking and moving so slowly...
We finally finished our food and were ready to head out. But there wasn't a trash can for as far as the eye could see. At least on our side of the road. So, we bagged it all up and got onto the highway, pulling into the CVS when we spotted a trash can. Bon Jovi got back in the car and informed us there was already a pile of Boston Market trash in the CVS trash can. Heh. Awesome.
So, we hit the road once again. Maggie checked in from time to time, Bon Jovi supplied awesome tunes (Blondie, Bon Jovi, Rick Springfield, etc) and we did well until I got ired. Between laughing over Boston Market and just being pooped I started to lose focus on the road. Not a good thing So, we looked for a place to pull over so Vader could take on driving duties. We saw a sign for a rest area and pulled over.
Now, most rest areas have at least a bathroom, some lights, picnic tables, something. This one was just wooded area and some parking spots. You should also know that Vader hates nature and the woods and all of that. Okay, I'm not sure she actually hates nature, but she's afraid of it. She's convinced nature or axe murderers or some such are going to come out of the dark and murder her. In a violent and painful manner. Lots of people have this fear, but hers is a bit grander than most. So, we pull up into a spot with dark woods on one side and a couple of dark parked trucks. Sh e jumped out of the car, ran over to the driver's seat and got in, locking her door as quickly as possible. I wasn't paying much attention and got out of the car to dump some more trash (there WAS a trashcan nearby) and stretch my legs. Until Vader and Bon Jovi threatened to leave my ass there if I didn't get in the car 'RIGHT THIS MINUTE.' Between Boston Market and this stop it we decided I'm not allowed to pick any more of our stops. Though the sleeping truckers did give us a nice long conversation about trucks, Modern Marvels, truck stop hookers, Lifetime-esque movies about truck stop hookers and a little look into my bizarre psyche.
Things went along smoothly until we hit NH. I was in the middle of some story or talking point and I saw the welcome sign. My first instinct was to say "Welcome to New Hampshire" to the car. Really, that was my intent when I stopped mid sentence. What came out of my mouth was an extremely loud, rather angry, "LIVE FREE OR DIE, BITCHES!!!" that scared Vader, Bon Jovi, me and possibly any other cars within a 100 feet of us. It was very bizarre. And I think that was the moment we broke poor Bon Jovi.
Not long after we hit the town which hosts Maggie's lake house. We pulled out her instructions and learned that they were thorough and correct, but really only useful in daylight. In the dead of night without street lights or house lights it's very hard to make out fields and meadows and farmhouses and such. But, we made it almost to the house when we ended up on Hemlock Lane. And hit a dead end. The Soundtrack from Grease 2 was on the stereo, Vader was freaking out because the nature is dark and scary all around us and all Bon Jovi could do was sing "Wa a a" from "Girl for All Seasons" over and over again. Well, until he saw a house with four guys hanging out inside. He wanted us to just drop him off there, but we didn't think having Bon Jovi ringing a doorbell at 1:30AM in a remote part of NH singing "Wa a a" would end well. Also, while she called us several times over the course of the drive, now that we were lost and needed her we couldn't get her on the phone. I know now that her house isn't in a great service area and her phone wasn't ringing but at the time there was a lot of swearing. So, Vader is in the car freaking out thinking nature is going to kill us, Bon Jovi is singing "Wa a a" on a constant loop and I'm swearing up a storm. Don't you so wish you were there?
We turned back around and right before the turn saw the house number on a tree and also on the house. We weren't sure it was the right street, but with the proper number we figured we'll chance it. There were lights on in the house unlike most others. We got to the front door and Bon Jovi wouldn't go in. He claimed he'd "seen this movie" and thought he'd be shot. I would've barged right in, but I was at the back of the group. Finally we saw Maggie's cat coming towards the door and knew we're in the right place. At which point we stumbled in with all our crap and promptly freak out Maggie and her friend with our inane babbling. And Bon Jovi's "Wa a a"'s.
So, who's with us for the NEXT road trip?
Fun Being a Girl
(Dad, just stay away from this entry, you really don't want to read this.)
A friend of mine is experiencing her first UTI this morning. And hopefully if I don't mention her name, she won't mind me writing about it.
I had 'em when I was little. And then again a time or two in college, when I was probably at my most sexually active. And it's just the worst thing ever. I'd rather have a festival of yeast infections than a UTI. It hurts and you want to pee all the time. When I have one all I want to do is sit on the toilet and cry. I had to be threatened once in order go to the ER when I had an open wound with exposed fatty tissue, but I will barely bother to put on shoes or pants in my rush to get to the doctor if I have a UTI. My friend is someone who is usually trying to convince me to see a doctor but as soon as she said she thought she had a UTI I was all, "go to the doctor, NOW." I think she may have thought she was dying since the 'walk it off' girl was so vehemently recommending a doctor's visit.
And it really is such a girl thing. Yeah, guys can get them, but I think over half of all women in this country have a UTI at least once in their lives. On the Mayo Clinic's website under risks for UTI the first one is "being female." Bah! Most women will totally feel your pain when you get one. Whenever I'd have one female nurses, doctors and pharmacists (and even boyfriends' mothers) would be so sympathetic. We'd exchange horror stories, giggle about the evils of having sex and then jokingly blame the menfolk. My friend had a similar experience, as I think I told her she would. Her doctor was sooo sympathetic. And apparently laughed at her at one point. Her doctor was prescribing the antibiotics and then mentioned the pain killer and my friend was all eager, "Is that for the orange pills?" The doctor was confused as she thought it was her first such infection. My friend said it was but that her friend (me) told her to go to the doctor and get the orange pills right away. And her doctor laughed.
But dude, the orange pills. They're magic. They make you pee neon orange for a while, but they work super fast, numb everything up and make the bad go away while the antibiotics do their thing. Oh how I love them. I haven't had a UTI in over a decade but I think if I had any skills as a poet I would write an ode to the orange pills for you right now.
I would also like to stress for everyone who hasn't had one (you lucky, lucky people) that it's not just dirty hos who get UTIs. Granted my adult ones came from a little experimenting without enough research (Dad, you SO better not be reading now) or from impersonating a bunny after a dry spell. So yes, sex seems to be a factor. Cleanliness of girl parts is always a good thing. Peeing after sex is a good, good thing to do if you're a chica. Proper post-potty technique is wise. Drinking the cranberry juice (oh how I hate vodka free cranberry juice) is a helpful thing. But sometimes, it seems you just get them. And when you do, go to the doctor, get your orange pills (and antibiotics) and then giggle and sympathize and bond with some chicas.
Dr. Muffy is probably horrified by my unscientific entry about doctoring. Because she is wise. And a doctor.
A friend of mine is experiencing her first UTI this morning. And hopefully if I don't mention her name, she won't mind me writing about it.
I had 'em when I was little. And then again a time or two in college, when I was probably at my most sexually active. And it's just the worst thing ever. I'd rather have a festival of yeast infections than a UTI. It hurts and you want to pee all the time. When I have one all I want to do is sit on the toilet and cry. I had to be threatened once in order go to the ER when I had an open wound with exposed fatty tissue, but I will barely bother to put on shoes or pants in my rush to get to the doctor if I have a UTI. My friend is someone who is usually trying to convince me to see a doctor but as soon as she said she thought she had a UTI I was all, "go to the doctor, NOW." I think she may have thought she was dying since the 'walk it off' girl was so vehemently recommending a doctor's visit.
And it really is such a girl thing. Yeah, guys can get them, but I think over half of all women in this country have a UTI at least once in their lives. On the Mayo Clinic's website under risks for UTI the first one is "being female." Bah! Most women will totally feel your pain when you get one. Whenever I'd have one female nurses, doctors and pharmacists (and even boyfriends' mothers) would be so sympathetic. We'd exchange horror stories, giggle about the evils of having sex and then jokingly blame the menfolk. My friend had a similar experience, as I think I told her she would. Her doctor was sooo sympathetic. And apparently laughed at her at one point. Her doctor was prescribing the antibiotics and then mentioned the pain killer and my friend was all eager, "Is that for the orange pills?" The doctor was confused as she thought it was her first such infection. My friend said it was but that her friend (me) told her to go to the doctor and get the orange pills right away. And her doctor laughed.
But dude, the orange pills. They're magic. They make you pee neon orange for a while, but they work super fast, numb everything up and make the bad go away while the antibiotics do their thing. Oh how I love them. I haven't had a UTI in over a decade but I think if I had any skills as a poet I would write an ode to the orange pills for you right now.
I would also like to stress for everyone who hasn't had one (you lucky, lucky people) that it's not just dirty hos who get UTIs. Granted my adult ones came from a little experimenting without enough research (Dad, you SO better not be reading now) or from impersonating a bunny after a dry spell. So yes, sex seems to be a factor. Cleanliness of girl parts is always a good thing. Peeing after sex is a good, good thing to do if you're a chica. Proper post-potty technique is wise. Drinking the cranberry juice (oh how I hate vodka free cranberry juice) is a helpful thing. But sometimes, it seems you just get them. And when you do, go to the doctor, get your orange pills (and antibiotics) and then giggle and sympathize and bond with some chicas.
Dr. Muffy is probably horrified by my unscientific entry about doctoring. Because she is wise. And a doctor.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Movies
Vader and I are going to see WarGames Thursday night. Very excited. When one of her coworkers was describing what WarGames was to another coworker he said, "It's like Dr. Strangelove directed by John Hughes." Love it!
Vader and I saw a couple of movies this past weekend. Now, I normally am the one sitting next to the chatty/crazy/evil/not too bright people, but that was Vader's luck this weekend. At Wall-e she sat next to an adult woman who looked bright enough, but had to have the move constantly explained to her. Wall-e. A children's movie. Created with children in mind. Something children could understand. Apparently she had a hard time grasping the idea of robots. So, through our whole next movie I kept leaning over to Vader and asking, "What's that?" Every time she responded with, "It's a robot."
Next, we went to see Mama Mia. A move based on a Broadway Musical based on the songs of ABBA. Whether you know anything else about this movie, you should expect some singing. But, apparently there is a whole group of people out there who pay their $10+ without knowing what they're getting into. At the opening scene the girl next to her asked if it was a Disney movie. And decided Amanda Seyfried sounded like Ariel. At one point in the movie she threatened to throw something at the screen if the cast sang one more song. And she was horrified by all the old people in the movie. You know, the ancient old crones in their 50s. Who are all in better shape and look better in bathing suits than I do. Or her I think. Bah! As Vader said, "shut up, you have a side ponytail!"
My all time favorite still has to be when Muffy, Steph and I went to see Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Right before the end some guy in front of us ran off to the restroom (I assume). He came back as the credits were rolling. He seemed bummed and asked his friend what had happened. The response, "The fat kid almost drowned." And then... "And they totally set it up for a sequel." Took Muffy and I a while to stop laughing. He just seemed so amazed at the NERVE.
Another good one was when Lovey and I went to see Serenity. It was a fairly empty theater. A man was sitting in the aisle seat, then an empty seat, then me, then Lovey, then several empty seats. Plus many excellent empty seats all around the theater. But this woman comes in and tromps over the man to sit next to me. And takes up all of her seat and then some. Not because she was all that big, though she wasn't tiny, but because she had her jacket and elbows and arms and hands and hair all over the place. Right before the movie started folks sat on Lovey's other side so we couldn't really move down. So, Lovey and I watched the whole movie leaning slightly to the left. The woman wasn't quite in her right mind. Trying to chat with me during the previews and a good portion of the movie. About all kinds of things that made no sense to me at all. I kind of got where she was coming from with the cannibal talk as it sort of tied into the movie, at times, maybe. But most of the rest of it made no sense. Then, at the end of the movie Lovey fled and I turned my head to the right. The woman had bent over, I think to pick something up, and her pants fell down. And her panty clad ass was about an inch or two from my face. I was kind of horrified. She was not. It was an interesting movie going experience.
I can't wait to see what happens at WarGames.
Vader and I saw a couple of movies this past weekend. Now, I normally am the one sitting next to the chatty/crazy/evil/not too bright people, but that was Vader's luck this weekend. At Wall-e she sat next to an adult woman who looked bright enough, but had to have the move constantly explained to her. Wall-e. A children's movie. Created with children in mind. Something children could understand. Apparently she had a hard time grasping the idea of robots. So, through our whole next movie I kept leaning over to Vader and asking, "What's that?" Every time she responded with, "It's a robot."
Next, we went to see Mama Mia. A move based on a Broadway Musical based on the songs of ABBA. Whether you know anything else about this movie, you should expect some singing. But, apparently there is a whole group of people out there who pay their $10+ without knowing what they're getting into. At the opening scene the girl next to her asked if it was a Disney movie. And decided Amanda Seyfried sounded like Ariel. At one point in the movie she threatened to throw something at the screen if the cast sang one more song. And she was horrified by all the old people in the movie. You know, the ancient old crones in their 50s. Who are all in better shape and look better in bathing suits than I do. Or her I think. Bah! As Vader said, "shut up, you have a side ponytail!"
My all time favorite still has to be when Muffy, Steph and I went to see Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Right before the end some guy in front of us ran off to the restroom (I assume). He came back as the credits were rolling. He seemed bummed and asked his friend what had happened. The response, "The fat kid almost drowned." And then... "And they totally set it up for a sequel." Took Muffy and I a while to stop laughing. He just seemed so amazed at the NERVE.
Another good one was when Lovey and I went to see Serenity. It was a fairly empty theater. A man was sitting in the aisle seat, then an empty seat, then me, then Lovey, then several empty seats. Plus many excellent empty seats all around the theater. But this woman comes in and tromps over the man to sit next to me. And takes up all of her seat and then some. Not because she was all that big, though she wasn't tiny, but because she had her jacket and elbows and arms and hands and hair all over the place. Right before the movie started folks sat on Lovey's other side so we couldn't really move down. So, Lovey and I watched the whole movie leaning slightly to the left. The woman wasn't quite in her right mind. Trying to chat with me during the previews and a good portion of the movie. About all kinds of things that made no sense to me at all. I kind of got where she was coming from with the cannibal talk as it sort of tied into the movie, at times, maybe. But most of the rest of it made no sense. Then, at the end of the movie Lovey fled and I turned my head to the right. The woman had bent over, I think to pick something up, and her pants fell down. And her panty clad ass was about an inch or two from my face. I was kind of horrified. She was not. It was an interesting movie going experience.
I can't wait to see what happens at WarGames.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)