Birthday Week - Day One

Birthday Week is exhausting. But awesome.

Because of Reagan's Funeral on Friday, the markets were closed. And when the markets are closed, my office is closed. Sadly this doesn't happen enough. The markets closing, not presidents dying. I'm okay if they don't die that often. Dying upsets me. Um, yeah.

So, Birthday Week started with a day off. Which was a great idea, I think. I had all kinds of grand plans about getting up at 8 and cleaning my entire apartment before 5. But, if any of you know me, you know that didn't happen. I was up before 10. I did get some cleaning done. Crossed a couple things off the ole to do list. And that was good. But the apartment is still a pit. Ah well.

I eventually showered and suited up (my Bernie jersey and Yankees cap and blue & white sneakers) and headed on out to the 4 train. By some strange Birthday Week coincidence Muppet and Mr. Muppet managed to get on the same car of the same train somewhere around 42nd street or Union Square. So I scared the crap out of Muppet by hugging her from behind ("You do not sneak up behind someone and hug them on the train!"), giving up my seat in the process. I sacrifice, she yells. My life is very hard. We got to the stadium and headed to the Big Bat to wait for Muffy, Steph and LJ. Took them no time at all to arrive and we headed in. Where the good Birthday Week luck just decided to laugh loudly and run away. Steph got denied entrance with his bag (which was smaller than the purse that walked in right ahead of him) so he and Muffy had to wander off and try another entrance, with her holding the bag and us taking her actual bag. Yankee stadium is as sexist about terrorists as anywhere else and is 98% more likely to let in a girl with a giant bag than a boy with a tiny man purse. Just so you know.

As the rest of us headed to our seats, Muppet and Mr. Muppet asked me why I got non-alcoholic seats. I thought they were kidding. When I Ordered the tickets ONLINE I was not told they were in the non-alcoholic section! No, I was not. I would've remembered this. I would rather sit in the farthest reaches of the stadium than sit in a non-alcoholic section. A strongly worded letter is going to be written by me this week. Count on that. But, there was nothing we could do at that point but try and sneak beer. Little did we know. We had not yet seen The Beer Nazi in her khaki shorts and sassy yellow STAFF polo. Woe unto us.

I went off to get beer and dogs and pretzels while LJ watched the seats. And then the game started. As I stood in the longest line ever (yeah, our counter person wandered off to count her cash drawer midway through my line's forward progression) A-Rod hit his homer. Really, about the only good play from the Yankees that game. When asked why he didn't come rescue me after others came back to the seats, LJ told me the game had started. Putz. He was obviously not comprehending this idea of Birthday Week. He will pay. Anyway. I came back to the seats and spent the evening watching the Yankees play like a bunch of girls while my companions (a Mets fan, two Red Sox fans, a Padres fan and a Marlins fan) cheer gleefully, all the while getting yelled at by and trying to hide from the Beer Nazi. This woman was having fits whenever she caught someone in the section with beer. Actual fits. Her eyes sometimes bugged out.

She came to our row at one point but was not able to catch us. We were sneaky. At first. But, unlike what usually happens, we did not get more invisible the more beer we drank. Muffy got sodas so we could hide beer in the soda cups. But the Beer Nazi saw Steph with actual beer cups and while yelling at him was able to see my soda cup with beer. Dammit. So we were sent off to the entrance to chug our beers. So we chugged. And then we came back.

And for some reason Steph and Mr. Muppet still had beer when they came back. So she yelled and threatened to throw us all out of the stadium if she caught us with beer again. It was all just ridiculous. And frustrating. A girl needs a beer when watching a game where the Padres beat the Yankees 10-2. Really. But we managed to have fun and the Padres fan was very happy. And Ed's Shirt got to grace another torso and see Yankee Stadium and all, so that was a treat. And we did get to see the Beer Nazi throw out some folks for drinking beer somewhere around the 8th or 9th Inning.

After the game, Muppet wanted to know if we were all going out for a drink. After about the 17th time she asked we all kinda clued in that she wanted to go out for drinks. As LJ had to catch the LIRR home at SOME point we ended up at a Playwright Tavern (there are many all over Manhattan) near Penn Station. After about a million $3 Miller Lites and a round of Car Bombs (and Scotch for LJ) and some strange conversation and threats of Trivial Pursuit throw downs and photos of Ed's Shirt and a Padres hat and befriending some man named Mark (or Martin) it was somehow after 3AM and LJ had left us. In fact, I think the bar was technically closed because they were finally letting our posse smoke in the back room. And the front door was locked and all. At this point I had also been whining about leaving for an hour and I was finally allowed to go home. There was a small incident with Ed's Shirt in the train station that I'm sure you'll hear about in its blog, and then we were on the F train. And Steph was blathering about staying up until dawn. Because he is a dumbass. He kept insisting we were going to a diner and seeing the dawn. He can be a bit stubborn when he's been drinking and Muffy and I are dumbasses as well so we went along with him.

We wrapped up the evening/morning with Grilled Cheese sandwiches (which tasted so good) and french fries in a Smith Street diner. And we came out and it was light. And the birds were chirping. And I wanted to kinda cry a little. Steph babbled about seeing the bright shiny orb. Muffy and I told him to go to hell because we were going to BED. And he followed along like a good man. Finally.

I got home, sent some babbling emails letting people know that if they were running late getting to my place for the Coney Island trip, that would be excellent. And then I passed out about 5:30AM. Ending Day One. A very, very long, but AWESOME Day One.