Lawn Mowing

When I was younger, my Dad would make me mow the lawn. Which was really very reasonable of him. I was a member of the household, chores had to be done, I was 14 or so and fully capable of pushing a lawn mower around. It wasn't even that hard. Just hot and sweaty and time consuming (we had a lovely large yard). But I have a bit of a Princessy attitude at times. And lawn mowing time brought it out like you would not believe. Oh the whining and the moaning and the pleading and the "Daddy!!!" that came out of me. I really should be embarrassed. And I am. Sorta. But not enough not to continue to do it.

After much begging and pleading and whining and such, I finally admitted to myself that no one else was going to mow my damn lawn and I was going to have to do it myself. So I came home. Sat around for a little bit hoping someone would call and say, "Kidding! Of course I'll mow your lawn, silly Amanda!" When that didn't happen I sacked up, put on my scruffies, went to the basement, brought out the lawn mower and mowed the damn lawn. It was hot and sweaty and painful. And I really am not so good at it yet. It's a little patchy I think. But it's done. And I can only get better in time. And hopefully if I do it once every week or two rather than once every month or two it might be easier, right? Anyway, I did it. And the grass is mostly low now. I even got out the clippers and attacked the tall stuff crowding my bushes. And made a half-ass attempt to clip the stuff around the edge of the yard. Then I rinsed off the mower, wiped it down and sprayed it with WD-40. And then I lay down in my hammock and pondered what a bad ass I am. Because I mowed my teeny tiny lawn. All by myself. Like millions of folks do each week. And yet are not the bad ass I am.

When I was about 15 I put on my bikini to go mow the lawn. On an Air Force base. In the South. At the age of 15. Daddy was not pleased. But I do not remember having to mow the lawn after that. Though the summer I turned 16 we moved to Hawai'i and didn't really have much of a mowable lawn after that so... maybe it wasn't the bikini. I like to believe it was the bikini and that I'm all sneaky and sly. Sadly, I don't think that's going to work here. And I'm going to be out there next Friday mowing it again before my backyard birthday party. Alas.

Because I am so awesome I also did some dishes and baked chocolate chip cookies last night. After mowing the lawn. You wish you could be so cool. And I wish I could have as much sleep as y'all probably did.