I miss the days of instant friends.
I was miserable when my Dad came home and said he was being transferred to Louisiana. I'd been in North Carolina for four years or so and loved it. All my friends were there. And I didn't even know where this Louisiana place was. Was it even a state? Hey, I was 8. But, the Air Force wasn't going to keep us in North Carolina just because I wanted it that way. So off to Louisiana we went.
Just a little aside. My first memory of my new home was being woken up outside the house, noticing the search lights in the sky, walking in the house, finding a dead cockroach in the carpet of the stairs and being put to sleep on a bare bed under this fur blanket that I loved. Good times.
Anyway, the next morning (being at Barksdale AFB less than 24 or even 12 hours) I went out to get the paper and let the dog in the yard. Within seconds, a little girl came out of the house next door and over to me. "Hi, I'm Holly, want to play?" So I put the dog in the house and told my Mom I was off to play. "Want to meet Denise?" Within in about an hour I had 2 or 3 new best friends. By the end of the week I knew every person under 18 within 20 blocks. I'm sure part of that was military base mentality but it was still InstaFriend.
Later in the week another new girl, Vader, was over at Denise's with us, playing Barbies. At that point we were getting out of the Barbie habit so all the dolls would do is get ready for a party, go to a party, pair up, go home together, get undressed and get into bed together. And then we didn't know what to do with them. So we just kind left 'em there for a bit until we felt it was time to get ready for the next party. Because it was a Southern military base and Mom hadn't fully indoctrinated me into the feminist way, whoever had the Ken doll of the heterosexual couple, took charge of the couple. At one point we were all overseeing couples except for Vader. She had one Barbie who hadn't found a Ken. So Vader kept her doll at the party and just had a fabulous little monologue going. Barbie talked to herself for a while. She talked to an imaginary janitor. I remember her talking about curtains for a very long time. I knew that this little girl was going to be my most awesome new friend. After less than an hour I knew this. And yeah, we still hang.
Vacations also seem to lead to instant friends. The summer either before or after sixth grade, the family dragged me on a trip to Canada. Part of the trip was spent traveling across the country by train. Three days I think. I met another little girl on the train early on and she and I became nearly inseparable except when our families made us have family time. By some fluke I ended up with my own room on the train so we hung out there and pretended it was my apartment. We hung out in the observation car drinking Perrier and being goofy. We'd run around terrorizing or charming everyone. It was great. New Best Friend.
There are also the times it seems you're bound to be friends with your parents' friends' children who are roughly the same age. My dad's buddy in Louisiana was divorced with a daughter who lived with her mother. She'd come to visit a few weeks a year and whenever they were working, she was with me. I didn't really think of her as my new best friend, but we had some common interests and were the same age and we made it work. Plus, she introduced me to Real Genius and for that I will always be grateful. That and the fact that she hung out and watched Headbangers Ball with me when our Dads went into hour 7 of the Fourth of July firecrackers. I don't even think I'm exaggerating.
And there are dozens more stories like those. But eventually it stopped being so easy. And I'm trying to figure out why. High school in Louisiana was kinda hellish, but I still remember instances of being sudden buddies. Befriending a girl in my carpool on day one. Having slumber parties with my lab partner in the first month of school. Things like that.
It did start to seem harder in Hawai'i though. I came into the school and tried making instant friends and it didn't work so much. I did make friends, but it took a little more effort. People seemed a little less willing to get close. One girl even told me a few months into my time there that I terrified her when she first met me. Apparently I just started talking to people. How strange am I? Pumpkin even used to give me a hard time for approaching folks and just yammering at them. Like Fred. I remember when I met Fred. I'd heard about him here and there and didn't know who he was. So when I found out I was very excited. "YOU'RE Fred!!?!? Awesome." And then I tried to chat his ear off. Pumpkin lectured me for not introducing myself before trying to instantly bond and then told me he might not actually want to even listen to me yammer. She had a point, but still. No instant friending with Fred. Or anyone there.
When I met Buzz here at work, I remember thinking he was awesome and would be my new best friend. But I didn't just tell him that. It was a slow process, making him my new buddy. A whole relationship building thing. Over time. And he's a good buddy and all my friends are good whether they were instant or slow building. But I kinda miss the instant thing. Just saying hi and hanging out with someone for a few days and having them in your friend file forever.
