Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Oh Happy Day (I still hate the red sox)

I just bought Duran Duran Christmas Ornaments. And am so excited I can't see straight. But there is some anger. Apparently I have fallen off the Duran Duran email list I was on and was not aware that they were signing their CD in New York RIGHT IN TIMES SQUARE on the 12th. You cannot imagine the weeping when I learned of this news. Lovey and I are distraught. And so we must go out and buy the new Duran Duran CD to soothe our sad souls. And possibly the Team America soundtrack. Retail Therapy at it's best.

I hate the Red Sox

I hate the Red Sox. I hate them so much. I hate their horrible, horrible hair. I hate how they must drag these playoffs out the way that they do. I hate that they cause me such stress. I hate that fucking Trot Nixon. Fucking Trot. Hate, hate, hate. Hate the Red Sox. Bad, bad Red Sox. Bad!

I cannot get those first three words from the Team America theme out of my head. Seriously. All day long I'm at work with "A-mer-i-ca, Fuck Yeah!" going on a constant loop in the back of my head. I know that at some point I'll just start singing it out loud. And then I'll get the funny looks again. I hate the funny looks. But I hate the Red Sox more. Damn Red Sox.

I just finished rereading Valley of the Dolls. Amusing book. Depressing book. I can't really remember much of the movie, but I always picture Patty Duke as Neely O'Hara when I read it. The whole evil people and drug abuse stuff aside, the book really depresses me because of the whole 'woman needs man' theme. It' so offensive. That all women desperately want to get married on some level. That a man has to be the one to support the family even if the woman has millions. That a woman needs to be married to be successful. Even if you have piles of money and a great career you're something to be pitied without a husband. And then the idea that men cheat because they're men. It's just what they do. Women accept it and move on. So gross. So very, very gross. Blech. I think the thing I really like about the book is that pills (especially sleeping pills) are called dolls. It's a habit my family has picked up, for no reason I can explain. We just call sleeping pills dolls. Like last night Mom told me to just take some dolls and go to bed.

We have lots of little in jokes, the folks and I. Like Dad and I often do a whole, "Let us go then you and I" schtick whenever we're heading off somewhere. We've done that since before I ever read the poem. It's weird and dorky, but a funny family thing. We often call Dad Sparky or Clark because of a whole Wally World/National Lampoon's Vacation thing we have going. We have our dolls. We have little nicknames and jokes and things like that. We have jokes about Dad's girlfriend and now his boyfriend (usually his roommates) and Mom's boyfriend - though now that he's going to be a father and all she hardly ever talks to him which takes all the fun out of that joke. Most of the time they make no sense to anyone else and often convince others that we are not a healthy family. But we really are. It's just our weird sense of humor. I like the fact that our brains are twisted in the same way. Drugs and poetry and mockery bringing us closer. Good times.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Woo

Daddy made Captain. So you will now all have to start calling him Captain Bill. Just so you know. Until he gets annoyed and threatens you. Then you can stop. But not until then.

See, Mommy's Magical Heart got Dad a promotion. That puppy is POWERFUL.

I'm Not Feeling Well... (excuse the swearing)

Shit mother fuck! Goddamn those motherfucking Red Sox. ARGH!

Sorry. Had to get that out. Cannot believe the Yankees haven't wrapped this up already. And with today's weather it looks like we'll have to wait until tomorrow to put that team out of it's misery. Bah.

I'm not having a happy day. Really. The Yankees haven't won yet. I just typed that as one and not won because I'm not very bright. I had to walk to work (well, to the train and then to the office from the train) in the cold and the wet (uphill, both ways, with snow as well as rain and no shoes). And it's still cold and wet. I have a really gross overflowing catbox that I just cannot be bothered with right now. My apartment is vile. Seriously. I weigh about a thousand pounds. Some bitch I work with gave my freaking cell phone number to my jackass of a boss and they both felt it was acceptable to use it on a Sunday night. And I know if I don't change it he'll start making a habit of calling me on the weekends and at night and on vacations because he is evil. Which is why I've spent the past couple of years not letting him have it. And I'm annoyed at the fuckers who trip over themselves in the elevator to let the girls out first even if they're at the back of the elevator. I'm a girl, not a freak who can't handle waiting at the back of an elevator for half a second. And it does take you boneheads longer to push yourselves up against the wall and indicate to me that I should go... and poop on you. And Muppet is leaving me for a week to go to London. And all the freakin' gross black and mint jelly beans in my jelly bean tub. And the cramps. Oh my god the cramps are making me want to cry. CRY!!! WEEP!!!

Anyone wanna come over and hang out tonight? Heh.

But really, I'm being a spoiled child. Because yesterday brought the best news ever. Mom is doing well. Really well. Super duper well. Best Heart Attack Ever well. She got her stress test results back yesterday and the cardiologist said if he ever has a heart attack then he wants the heart attack Mom had. YAY! My Mom really is freakishly overachieving. It's always going for the A+ with her. But yeah. There wasn't any damage to her heart. It's functioning normally and with medication and some slight lifestyle changes (though not as much of a sodium cut down as she thought) she should be good to go for a million years. Or at least to her goal of seeing me turn fifty. Though why she wants to see that after seeing how well I handle 30, I don't know. But, I'm so happy. I'm happy for me to know this and feel better about her and worry a little less. I'm happy for her because I think it's a big weight off of her and now she can get back to her life without worrying that something might be wrong that she can't really feel. It's all so good. Go Mommy, go Mommy, It's your birthday, it's your birthday...

Maybe I shouldn't've put my Mommy news at the bottom of the swearing entry? But see, I wrote about the awesomeness of her heart and now the cramps are gone. Her heart is magical. That's how she's able to love the complete idiot that she and Daddy raised. Magical Mommy Heart.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Manda Shot

Turnip is off gallivanting around Poland. Because once in a while her life is way more exciting than mine. I'm not in Poland. Though I totally get to play with Pumpkin's new PUPPY this weekend and she does not so HA! Or something.

Anyway, gallivanting around Poland for work apparently involves a lot of drinking. I don't know why. It just does. So she IMs me yesterday to inform me of a drink she saw over there called a Manda Shot. How awesome is that? She sent me photos of the menu with the Manda Shot on it as well as some advertisement or something to do with the Manda Shot and it seems like it might have something to do with a superhero. And I need to find out more about this. I mean, a superhero named Manda? A drink called the Manda Shot? Well, a shot called the Manda Shot. It's all very exciting and I must know more. Though so far my research isn't bringing up much. And I am a little worried about the fact that the superhero cartoon girl in the photo was a blonde and that's WAY off from the true superhero Manda. Because I am the true superhero Manda and I have dark brown hair.

Super Manda! Manda Shot! So cool.

Turnip never mentioned what is actually in a Manda Shot. She was probably drunk while IMing me even though she said she wasn't. Luckily she's in Poland for a while and can do some more research for me. Yay. Get on that, young Turnip!

Why he is my PimpDaddy

This amused me way more than it should've. Really.

PimpDaddy: i just had crazy night
Amanda: Dude, more car chases?
PimpDaddy: no not that crazy
Amanda: Hos?
PimpDaddy: i did see some boob though
Amanda: HOOKERS!?!?!
PimpDaddy: no
Amanda: Oh.
PimpDaddy: just some gals i was out with
Amanda: Did they make out?
PimpDaddy: no
Amanda: Why do you go out with gals other than me?
PimpDaddy: just flashed me
Amanda: For fun?
PimpDaddy: this was the first time
PimpDaddy: yes
Amanda: Just you?
PimpDaddy: just me what?
Amanda: Were you the only one they flashed?
PimpDaddy: i was the only one in easy view, although we were in a bar...so someone looking could have easily
Amanda: Were the boobies pretty?
PimpDaddy: not overly
Amanda: That's unfortunate.
PimpDaddy: its ok
PimpDaddy: boobies are boobies
Amanda: Do you feel guilty about hanging with gals who were not me?
True, but some are prettier than others.
Amanda: Jennifer Connelly had awesome ones before she became Skeletor.
PimpDaddy: yes...hers were fab
Amanda: Too bad she ruined them.
Amanda: But, do you feel guilty about hanging with gals who were not me?
PimpDaddy: no. i think its ok once in a while
PimpDaddy: better than being alone at home
Amanda: You wound me.
PimpDaddy: you're easily wounded, apparently
Amanda: So, how did this exciting evening come about?
I am. I'm sensitive.
PimpDaddy: she wanted to take me out for my birthday
Amanda: Who?
PimpDaddy: she and her friends always hit a pub in JC on wednesday
PimpDaddy: one of the secretaries from work
Amanda: You saw Jersey boobie. I'm sorry.
PimpDaddy: its ok
PimpDaddy: i'll survive
Amanda: It's still boobie.
PimpDaddy: precisely
Amanda: Wait, you saw your secretary's boobie?
PimpDaddy: nooo
Amanda: Stranger boobie?
PimpDaddy: i saw a secretary's friend's boobies
PimpDaddy: (not my secretary)
Amanda: Okay.
Amanda: Was it boobie for your birthday?
PimpDaddy: although of all the secretaries in my office, i'd probably choose to see my secretary's first
Amanda: Awwwww, that's sweet. Never tell her.
PimpDaddy: nope. just a flash for the sake of flashing
Amanda: Oh. Birthday Boobie would've been cooler.
PimpDaddy: well my secretary is also the only one under 40
Amanda: No one wants to see old boobie. I can never flash again. (Note: Daddy, I would never ever flash, this is just a hypothetical comment, going along with the theme of the conversation.)
PimpDaddy: nah you're not that old
Amanda: I'm 30. I have a gray hair taped to my desk.
PimpDaddy: its ok. you could be older
Amanda: I could be older. Tomorrow, I will be older. A year from now I'll be way older.
PimpDaddy: stupid yankees won. so upset
Amanda: Can I put the boobie conversation in my blog.
AWESOME YANKEES WON!
PimpDaddy: if you want...sure
Amanda: Thanks.
Amanda: Should I change your name to protect you?
PimpDaddy: up to you. i don't know that anyone really knows i'm pimp daddy, do they?
PimpDaddy: and i somehow doubt that anyone from work reads the blog
Amanda: Muffy and Steph.
Amanda: No one reads my blog.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Watching the Debates

Despite my fear of Cheney, I'm watching the Vice Presidential Debates on TV right now. I mentioned my fear of Cheney earlier today to a friend. I was scared to watch the debates because I thought he might come through my TV and eat me or something. He told me I needed to get a Cheney screen for my TV to prevent that. This amused me. Of course, I now worry that writing this will put me on some list. I don't know. Is it okay to say the Vice-President scares me?

I just did a google search on "Cheney scares me" and all kinds of stuff came up. Hopefully I will be okay. He hasn't climbed through my TV screen yet...

It also seems that my Alma Mater is having a phone-a-thon tonight, calling and asking for money from Alums. Huh, I wonder if going to Wesleyan has me on a list already. Now I'll be on a list of Wesleyan alums who publicly (semi-publicly) express their fear of Cheney. Ooooh, another google... Something called Cheerleader News came up. I'm putting google away now.

Anyway. Someone from

Oh, whatever, Cheney. Like your administration gives a crap about women. This administration hates the vagina and would like to lock it up somewhere rather than letting women have control of their own bodies and wow I cannot get started on this right now.

ANYWAY. Wesleyan calls asking for money. I said now wasn't a good time and the woman on the phone laughed and said I was watching the debates, huh? Apparently everyone she's called is watching the debates. At first that made me smile being all glad that my fellow Wesleyanites are all into the debates and what's going on and all. And then I wondered what dumbasses decided that the night of the only Vice-Presidential debate of this oh so close and oh so important election would be a good night for a phone-a-thon. Silliness.

This stuff makes me so twitchy. Really. I'm glad the first debate tightened the race and that makes me happy. But reading about the election and watching these debates just makes me so tense. I'm truly terrified that Bush will win again. It's possible. And it scares the crap out of me. I fear losing my rights. I fear what horrible things this country might inflict on other nations under this administration. I fear being a non-married, non-straight, non-Christian woman in this country with Bush as a president again for a final term. I fear being asked to give up more freedom in exchange for a kind of security that I don't want and am not sure is effective. I love this country. Always have and I can't imagine me ever fleeing it. But I can also see how attractive the urge to run to Canada might be. They do have Television Without Pity there. But it's cold. But no Bush.

Dammit this election scares me. This administration scares me. And a screen for my TV might keep Cheney from coming though and eating me, but it's not going to help me or anyone if Bush wins.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Sick Girl

I have the flu. It started as a stomach ache on Tuesday. I started getting paranoid that it was appendicitis or something because that's just what I do. I'm very, very bad at being sick. Ridiculously bad about being sick. Normally I like to be all self-sufficient and mostly positive (while also being jaded and cynical - as a Gemini I can pull this off). But when I'm sick I just want someone to completely baby me; take care of me, bring me juice, make me soup and cocoa, pet my hair, change the TV channel, rent me movies and let me whine and cry about the pain and the sitting still and the not having any energy for anything and so on and so forth. I now am up to three reasons to be in a relationship; someone to travel with, someone to cook for/with and someone to take care of me when I'm sick.

But really, no one should be subjected to me when I'm sick. It's a horrible thing. I am a horrible thing. I whine constantly. When I'm not blowing my nose in a disgusting manner or running off to the bathroom or changing from one shapeless housedress into another. Yeah, I bring the anti-sexy into my sickly state. So gross.

Let me give you an example of the evil that is sick me.

Years and years ago I started dating this guy. Less than two months into the relationship I came down with Mono. It took a while to diagnose it though. Well, first it took forever to get me to the University Health Center. I was convinced they'd just tell me it was a viral infection and to get plenty of rest and fluids. I figured I could tell myself that and save me the time and hassle. Not that I actually bothered to get plenty of rest at this time. I ran around like a maniac like I always did. Even went on a long, long jaunt that wore me out way more than it should've. Since the 'viral infection' wasn't getting better and I was having low energy I was finally convinced to go to the health center. They thought it was mono and took my blood. The test came back negative for mono. The health center told me that either the mono wasn't showing up yet or I didn't have mono but instead had a mono-like virus. A Mono-LIKE virus. Whatever the hell that is. They took my blood for three weeks before it finally tested positive for mono. The fourth week I got my period. So a full four weeks of blood letting. Heh. Sorry, that always amused me and no one else.

Eventually the full force of my mono hit. And it was not pretty. Apparently lots of people just sleep and sleep and sleep when they have mono. I couldn't sleep. Not more than a couple of hours at a time. Nyquil didn't work, nothing worked. I was just up a lot. But I had no energy. I could barely walk to the bathroom on my own. Lots of clinging to the walls for me. Good times. So, here I was, awake all the time and yet unable to do anything. This makes me crazy. If I'm this low energy I should be napping lots and getting better. And if I can't sleep I should be up and around doing a million things. And if neither are happening? Well, you can't even imagine the whining and crying that happens. I would just cry over nothing. Over just being sick and in bed. And this nice boy listened to it all. He even answered the phone and gave my Mom updates and such if she happened to call on the rare occasion I was sleeping. He got assignments and ran errands and did all kinds of things for me when I was sick. And yet that wasn't the worst of me. Ugh.

At one point developed a sore throat. The brilliant health center thought it might be strep. But they weren't sure. They just gave me penicillin and Tylenol with codeine and sent me on my way. One or both of which made me throw up a lot. Or maybe it was just the mono. I don't know. But the nice boy kept track of my medication schedule and held my hair when I threw up and was very sweet and patient. Especially with my cocoa obsession. See, the medicine didn't really help the throat. The only thing that made my throat feel better was hot cocoa. And god forbid I go to the kitchen and make it myself. No, I woke this guy up (this guy who was having to go to classes and work and all because he wasn't sick) in the middle of the night to make my sorry ass some cocoa. And he did it. With a minimum of fuss. After dating me for less than than two months. Oh, and in order to be there for me to wake him in the middle of the night for cocoa making, he had to share a college dorm twin bed with my gross, gross self.

I would also whine because he could go out into the world for class and work and social activity when I could not. Of course lots of his 'outside' time involved turning in assignments for me and fetching things, but I was jealous. And became a crazy paranoid person as a result. One day he went off to work. And I was home. Sick and crazed and paranoid and exhausted and just miserable. And I was waiting and waiting for him to come home. I knew when he got off work and was trying to imagine in my mind the time it would take for him to get back to my room. And he didn't come back in that time. Or even a little while later. Finally I broke down and called his work. They said he left on time. So I just sat in my bed like a crazy person having no idea where he was. This guy I'd been dating for a few weeks and was good enough to take care of me rather than let me suffer in the health center alone. WHERE WAS HE!?!?!? The longer he was gone the crazier I think I got.

He finally walked through the door and was confronted with my gross, sick, delirious self sitting up in bed bellowing, "WHERE WHERE YOU!?!?!" I swear to you I do not know how this man didn't just turn around, shut the door and flee from me forever. Really. Instead he came in and said he'd just gone to the campus center for a cup of coffee and to read the paper. In peace. Away from the crazy sicko at home. Well, he didn't say the last two, but you know it's true. And he totally earned that break as well as a million others that he didn't take. Which I know now. And probably knew at the time. But I wasn't in a good frame of mind. And so I started crying and freaking out. Insisting that he should call me if he's going to do that or some such nonsense.

We stayed together for almost three years after that. Can you imagine?

Oh, and a couple of months later I was visiting him and he got mono. The symptoms consisted of a slight sore throat for three days. And that's it. After all my weeks of pain and agony that was all he got. And I was cranky about it. But I think I was mostly upset that I didn't get to repay the favor and not so much that he 'got off easy', because after weeks of sick me, he did NOT get off easy.

This go round hasn't been SO bad yet, but who knows. Maybe if Mom wasn't getting her nuclear stress test and someone was over at my apartment offering my sympathy and tea I'd be more of a mess. Like when I got really nasty sick around Thanksgiving last year. I think I remember talking (or sobbing hysterically) to my Mom in my delirium and informing her that I would obviously never be healthy again. And I think I believed it.

I can never be married. No one can put up with this shit and stay sane.

Happy Birthday PimpDaddy!!!!!!

Monday, September 27, 2004

It's Been a Busy Week. Or Two. Need Sleep

Hawai'i was good. Lot's of quality Mommy time, which is what I wanted. And I got to hug her lots. Which was good. She really seems to be doing well physically and all so that's great. I think it's still hard for her to grasp that she had a heart attack. Which makes sense. It's hard for me to grasp that as well and I didn't have one.

Didn't do too many wildly exciting things. Lots of TV watching and all. We did head to Waikiki on the 15th. Dad was flying the island hopper from Guam to Honolulu so he got a hotel room in Waikiki for his layover. So we headed down, checked into the hotel and then went out into the heat and the tourists. We headed over to The Cheesecake Factory as it seemed appropriately touristy. Ed's Shirt was a bit snobby about it, but you know how that pesky shirt is. We ordered the appetizer sampler AND entrees not realizing how much food came in the sampler. So dinner pretty much got wrapped up to go. Dad and I also got big ole fruity drinks. Well, I did. He got a margarita. But it was big. And lime was involved. So it's kind of like a big ole fruity drink. Whatever. Shut up.

After dinner we waddled around a little bit checking out the stores and the tourists and all. We took Mom back to the room so she could stay glued to CNN and all the Hurricane Ivan coverage while Dad and I went back out for more shopping. I had lots of requests for purchases like a grass skirt and mac nuts and things. But as I learned, there's a mac nut shortage or some such silliness. So I couldn't find ANY maui onion nuts or kona glazed. So weird. And disappointing. But Dad and I got a good walk in (after eating twice my weight in appetizers (and I'm a big girl!)) and amused ourselves with tourists and all. Waikiki is so odd to me now. I hung out there some in high school with friends. We'd buy crap jewelry in the International Marketplace, make fun of tourists, see movies, wander around on the beach and giggle when guys from Fort DeRussy hit on us. Good times. But now they've made it more upscale and touristy than before. Lots of fancy high end stores have moved in. The movie theaters are gone. It doesn't quite seem the same to me. I am a dork. Ah well.

Thursday morning Dad and I got up and went for a walk around Kapiolani Park. It was nice but he mocked me for my slow pace. He's been lapping the park for a few weeks now and I am hopelessly out of shape. I made it, though. After that I hit the beach for a little while. But I'd forgotten how rocky Waikiki is and how much I hate tourists when I want to be quiet and alone with the sun, sand and book (The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay right now). So I packed it in after a little bit and headed home with the rents.

That night we headed to Chiang Mai, which I love. And a fun last night (or so I thought) with both folks as Dad had to head back to Guam ridiculously early on Friday. Friday morning, Mom and I went out to Bellows and had a lovely time. It's a gorgeous beach with soft sand and trees and a breeze and a beautiful view and all that. It's Mom's favorite beach so it wasn't too hard to convince her to drive out. She got to read, I got some sun and swimming in and all was right with the world. Then that night I got to see Jello Girl for the first time in forever. Last year she was in New York the exact days I was in Hawai'i. Mean of her if you ask me. So she popped by to say hi to Mom and then we headed off to Verbano's for dinner and chatting and all. It was so nice to catch up on everyone and each other and to also just sit and chat about all sorts of things. I'm looking forward to seeing her again at Christmas. She promises me she's not going anywhere. And there was talk of an awesome Tiki Bar. We'll see.

Saturday was just mellow time. Errands and hanging out and doing laundry and watching TV and all in prep for me heading out on Sunday. Which didn't happen. The flights were suddenly all packed out of Honolulu. And loads of standby passengers were all trying to get out as well. So, I missed all the flight options and had to inform work I would not be there on Monday. Luckily they decided not to fire me so that was a win-win. Monday looked bad as well and the folks and I (Dad got back Monday morning) thought we'd have a nice little picnic after I missed the 3:35PM Newark flight. They even bought me treats and everything. But, miracle of miracles, I got on the flight.

I was stuck in a middle seat. Not fun. But at least I was on. And ended up with a nice person next to me. He started off on the phone bitching about how his friend was supposed to be sitting next to him but then his friend decided to switch seats and get an aisle seat. So it didn't seem promising. But then I pulled out How to Make Love Like a Porn Star with Jenna's boobs all hanging out in a photo and he became very friendly. Heh. He let me put all my stuff on his tray when I wanted to root around in my bags, he got a breakfast for me while I was dozing and held it on his tray until I woke up towards the end of the flight. He recommended a book he was reading. Chatted about Jenna, life, all that. Made it much easier to be squeezed into the middle seat. And no, for those of you like Muffy and Steph who have dirty minds, I did not have sweaty airport sex with him. Some people just belong in the gutter.

So, landed at 7AM, hopped on all my various trains and got to work. Where I actually did work. It was odd. Then, off to meet Vader and Taylor so we could go to TARCON 5 at Play by Play at the Garden. The website I love, Television Without Pity, has forums for all the shows they recap. And back in season one, lots of New Yorkers from The Amazing Race forums (as well as the recapper I think?) decided to gather at a bar to watch the finale. The racers ended up showing up after the CBS finale party and since then it's ballooned into this huge event. Vader went last year, but I've never been. I love the show and Dad and I plan to be on it one day. So I figured it was time to attend a TARCON. And I did have fun. But it was, um, interesting. It seemed a little cliquey to me at first. I felt like there was a bit of an attitude of superiority for the folks who posted on the forums a lot and have been to lots of TARCONs and all. And the goodie back table had a LOT of snottiness. I don't post on the forums a lot because I just don't have the time. But I bought my TARCON ticket like everyone and even contributed to the goodie bag fun financially since I couldn't give the time. And the woman manning the goodie bag table just didn't want to give me a goodie bag. I wasn't worthy. I don't know. It was so silly. Really. It's a goodie bag. I didn't even want the stuff in it, I just wanted to see what cute jokes people came up with for the bag. And there were some funny jokes. I know, because I did end up getting a goodie bag. It just all seemed so silly, you know? The day after there were apparently some little spats on the forums. Over goodie bags. Mind boggling. I'm going to TARCON6 for sure but am staying so very, very far from the goodie bag table. So far away.

Um, yeah. Okay. Now to bad moment number two. We get in and are told they have no room in the sit down bar area so we have to go to the overflow terrace area. Fine. It's a big crowd. They say we can order food 'to go' at the bar and will have no problems. I don't think they told the bar this. I went to get food for the three of us and it was madness. The bartender I got was really nice. He just seemed confused by it all at first. I don't think he knew LOTS of folks would be ordering to go for the terrace. And he also informed me that in order to get a veggie wrap (the only other vegetarian option but cheese sticks) I had to talk to a manager. Yeah, whatever. I got cheese sticks. And then waited forEVER for the food. It was a madhouse. My sweet bartender went all the way down to the kitchen to check on my food twice it was taking so long. Apparently they kept screwing up my order (two sandwiches and some cheese sticks). The worst of it was this AWFUL woman standing next to me at the bar. She was so loud from the moment she pulled up to the bar. Shrieking for the bartender, "Hey, barkeep, barkeep, I need food. I need to place an order to go!" This place was packed. He was at the other end of the bar serving people. It wasn't like he was standing around drinking and ignoring folks. He was just going to take a minute to get to her. But she was bellowing like nobody's business. And continued to do so after placing her order. She kept bellowing about where was her order and is that her order and why are other orders coming out before hers and blah blah blah I am an asshole... Then if anyone came up next to her and wanted to order she'd bellow at him again about THEIR order. I wanted to cry. She was so rude. So rude. And did not leave a tip. No one did in that corner except for me. Poor, poor bartender. He must've hated everyone that night.

Anyway, I finally got the food and made it back to my peeps for the start of the show. I pouted a little bit but quickly got over it. Well, quickly for me. Vader might disagree. And then I started to have some fun. A lot of the people there kind of scared me. For so many reasons. Reasons I will not mention for fear of insulting people more than I already have. But the episode was awesome and some of the folks were a lot of fun and it's just kind of interesting to watch a show you love with several other hundred folks who like it just as much.

After the finale the racers started coming in. I was amazed at how many folks showed up. As far as I can tell the folks there were:
Host
Phil!!! (didn't see)
Season 1
Brennan
Joe & Bill - Guidos
Kevin & Drew
Pat &/or Brenda (didn't see)
2
Oswald & Danny
3
Andrew

Derek & Drew
Flo & Zach
John Vito & Jill
Ken & Gerard
4
Jon & Al
5
Brandon & Nicole
Chip & Kim
Colin & Christie
Linda & Karen
Mirna
Other:
Wanda Sykes
Shii-ann - Survivor
Ken - Survivor
Mitchell - Survivor


I was sad about missing out on seeing Phil and have no idea why Wanda Sykes was there, but it was interesting seeing all the racers up close and personal. Lots of tiny people on this show. Dad and I should be able to squash them all easily. I hope. Vader and I aren't big celebrity whores so we didn't feel a huge need to take pictures with everyone. Also, we are awful with names and faces and weren't even sure who everyone was right away. So we sat and mocked quietly for a while. Which was great fun. Then we figured that we should go get seats at the bar while everyone was out in the entryway greeting racers. Good call on our parts. I had been awake and in the same clothes for over 30 hours, she was getting over the flu. Drinking was a good choice for us. Rather than, um, going home. It was. Really. The better choice. And we got a great view of all the racers as they came by. Which was nice.

At one point Andrew, a former cheerleader, came out and did a cheer/dance routine making fun of past and current contestants and all which was quite a sight to behold. I cannot describe it. I wish I could. He did end up without a shirt and "Phil" written on his chest. He looks pretty without a shirt. I might've asked for a picture if he hadn't put a shirt back on after the performance.

I had Ed's Shirt with me and I laid it out on the bar so I wouldn't forget to take it home with me once I was very drunk. Flo (one of the winners of Season 3) wandered up and said she went to school near there in Poughkeepsie. I asked if it was Vassar and of course it was. That's where she met her teammate and other winner, Zach. Heh. We chatted about Vassar for a bit and she sorta called me old (being class of '96 as opposed to '0something like she was) and then she asked me about Ed's Shirt. I explained it to her and asked if she wanted her photo with it. She did and made Zach come over so they could pose. For me being drunk the photo seems to have come out really well. Yay! And then I gave Zach one of Ed's Shirt's business cards. Hee. Muffy, a reality show contestant has a picture of your boobs in Ed's Shirt and a purple bra. How proud are you? Anyway, that was the only racer photo I got, I think. Ooooh, I got a butt shot of Team Cha cha cha at one point because they were right there while Vader and I snarked and it was too easy for me to take the shot. Towards the end Vader seemed bummed to have not chatted with Colin & Christie though so I think next time we'll sit at the bar a little less and torture racers a little more.

Anyway, it was good time and I am looking forward to next season. I've learned a few lessons such as eating ahead of time and avoiding the goodie bag table and tackling more racers. Plus I'll be bringing PimpDaddy and the folks. So it should be a blast.

I got home a little before 3AM though. Making Wednesday at work PAINFUL. And then Wednesday afternoon Turnip arrived for a New York minibreak. Woo. She actually was sweet and went out with other friends Wednesday, Thursday & Friday night giving me some quiet time. And instead of taking this chance to go to bed early those nights I just went wild with the clearing of TiVo and doing assorted home things. I don't know why. Turnip even tried making me go to bed before 2AM on Wednesday but I was too wired and having none of it. And while she was out with friends lots then, I still got to spend some quality time with her. Which is good.

Saturday we got up and had brunch with a friend of hers. Lovely guy. I think he thinks I'm a bit odd, though. Then she and I hurried to make the last three-hour full island circle line boat tour of the day. Turnip keeps coming to New York and doing lots of shows, bars, restaurants and friends but was complaining about not doing tourist things. So we're now going to do at least one a visit. The boat ride was a lot of fun. Good photos, fun times and excellent sightseeing. Woo. Then it was off to Don Giovanni's to meet another friend of hers from college. Lots of wine there and some excellent pasta. Then we walked to the Empire State Building for a nighttime viewing. I love the Empire State Building, actually. I hadn't been in a while and all, but I had a touch of the crowd hating while there. I think it was fatigue and all the crowds on the boat and the evil children on the boat. Just made me touchy. Which is too bad. It was still fun. Though there was a line for the elevators from the 80th floor to the top. So we took the stairs. OW! The pain, the pain. And the pushy tourists abounded up there. But Turnip got some pretty photos and we got to see the sights from up there. Then we wandered home exhausted. I showered and then we watched dr. vegas. Then Turnip showered and I crawled into bed. She had a 5:30AM car pick up for her flight and I was to stay up with her. But I napped a little and she read Fairy Porn and all was right with the world. She headed out to her car and I finally turned out the lights and really went to sleep. Woo. Until I had to get up for more fun.

Yesterday was the Atlantic Antic which is an enormous Brooklyn Street fair. I joined Muffy & Steph there about 2 and we caught the Cheesecake Eating Contest. Very amusing, but scary. Oddly enough, Zach, the racer from The Amazing Race Season 3 was there. The one who posed with the shirt. I saw him way back at the Survivor All-Stars finale, Tuesday at the TARCON event and then Sunday at the Antic. I think the boy is stalking me. Seriously. How else do you explain it? And you know who else is stalking me? Gabriel Byrne. Yeah. He is. Saw him Friday night walking home from the subway on Smith Street and then at the Antic yesterday. Stalker. He has pretty, pretty eyes...

I finally bailed on the Antic about 5:30 because I was so tired I couldn't see. And I figured I was about 15 minutes from ugly crankiness. Muffy & Steph did NOT need to see that.

And yet, after all this, I couldn't sleep last night. I want to cry. Tonight, I drug myself.

Seriously, the searches freak me out.
tapeworms that help you lose weight - I do not Advocate this.
dirty dancing Extras - Jennifer Grey screen test. Hee.
shreveport hookers - This time SHREVEPORT Hookers and not Barksdale Hookers. Is there really that little to do in Shreveport/Bossier these days?
Shreveport "Hamel's Park" - Apparently so.
shiny dancewear for kids performances - Hee. I've worn shiny dancewear as a kid.
"you got served" lyrics "south park" episode - An excellent episode.
Judy Blumes - Good stuff
hershey's swoops cupcakes - Oh my.
"Matt y" connecticut - Huh?
premade funnel cakes - They had funnel cakes at the Antic.
Siegfried and Roy's Black Panther - Dirty.
poekoelan feminist - I'm sure they were not pleased with my entry.

It boggles my mind.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Chillin' in Paradise

Haven't been to the beach yet so as of right now, I'm not coming home with a sassy tropical tan. But there's still hope. Mostlyl it's just been hanging with Mum. Which is fun for us, but boring to read about. I think.

Sunday Dad headed off to fly and Mom and I were just bums. Really. We watched some TV. Made Tuna Salad Sandwiches. Talked lots. Watched the Mama Dove sitting on her babies. There's a dove nest in the eaves (is that the right word?) of the Lanai and every few weeks a new Mama lays eggs there, hatches 'em, feeds 'em, teaches 'em to fly and then they all abandon the nest. Right now the babies have just hatched so we're watching her try and feed them and occasionally get to see baby bird heads over the top of the nest. Rather cute.

Yesterday I woke up early but kept trying to fall asleep until about 8. I had a really depressing dream. I can't remember what it was, but I remember it feeling "very high school" to me. The petty kind of high school meanness going on in the dream. Which left me a little bummed that whole morning. Plus I actually woke up thinking that it was 2PM at work on Monday and I was over half way through of my first of five days of work vacation. And that depressed me. Thinking I'd be back there in a week. I really need a new job.

Anyway, Mom went to the Dentist and I shopped around Kahala Mall getting a few gifts and things for our facial day. Then we ran out to Costco for a flash card for my camera and random crap.

You know what? This is all so boring. I give up. I'm chillin' with my Mom. I've made her watch New York Minute (which she hated) and Amelie (which she liked, thanks for the loan, Lovey). We ate veggie sausage balls. We've talked a lot. Good times.

Oh dear god. Mom and I are in different rooms, just a few feet from each other, IMing. And I started it. Must log off. Now.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Aloha

I'm here in Hawai'i. I made it on the flight and survived all 9 hours of it. Newark was eerily quiet yesterday. Apparently no one from New York really wanted to fly on the 11th. I can sort of understand, but really, when the next attack comes I suspect it will be a different one. Not the same thing as before. But that's just my opinion. I don't have terrorist experience. I wish no one did.

Seeing Mom was great. She looks good. And the big ugly hematoma on her thigh and hip and groin is hardly noticeable. She keeps wanting to show me, but basically it's just a little darker than the rest of her. It's even past the yellow stage of bruising. Which is great news. But I thinks she's sad I couldn't see it in all it's glory. But it's so nice to see her and to see that she's mostly just the same. A little paranoid of any twitch or twinge, but that's totally understandable until they get the other artery clear and do the stress test and all. I'm that way a little bit myself right now. I keep having to remind myself that heartburn and heart attack are separate things.

The flight was fine. Got to watch Stepford Wives, the remake, which was much better than expected. Glenn Close was lovely. And I caught an episode of Scrubs, read some of How to Make Love Like a Porn Star (no real pointers on that yet) and slept over almost all of the Continental US. Good times. They tend to feed you lots of meals and little snackies on these long flights. Kind of amusing. I slept through the big lunch though. I was sad to have missed the Milano cookies. My god I am boring. Sorry.

Mom and Dad met me at the airport with a pretty lei that smelled great and matched my outfit. Always a plus for me. Dad looks really good having lost a bunch of weight. Go Daddy. And we grabbed take out from the Olive Tree at the bottom of our hill. Spanikopita, hummus, stuffed grape leaves and pineapple-orange juice. Good times. Then we forced Dad to watch The Apprentice. I think he's now sucked in. As it ended he rolled his eyes and announced that he now has another recap to read. Hee.

Now I'm chillin'. Showing Mom some photos of a friend's wedding, doing laundry, drinking my coffee. She's talking to my grandmother right now and Dad just left for Guam. So it's a mellow day with the family. Soon I'm going to show her the rest of the photos and try and convince her to start using Trillian. And maybe something more exciting to write about tomorrow. Or maybe make Mom guest blog. Hee. I suppose I can always finish the LA stuff...

Thursday, September 09, 2004

My Mom had a Heart Attack

My Mom had a Heart Attack. It's getting easier to say that and to type it. It doesn't seem as strange as it did. And it doesn't scare me or freak me out quite as much as it did a couple of weeks ago.

On August 18th I got a late night call from my Dad that they were heading out to the Emergency Room. They thought she might be having a heart attack. It was a pretty horrible night for me, though I think in most ways it was far worse for Mom and Dad. I was just scared and worried and feeling too far away from my family. Dad was beyond scared and Mom was in a lot of pain and, well, having a heart attack.

But she's doing okay. The cardiologist told her that it was "big but aborted". So, apparently she was going to have a doozy of a heart attack if she hadn't gotten to the hospital as soon as she did. But she did get there quickly and they stopped it and put a stent in and cleared the artery that was 100% blocked. And gave her one of the biggest, ugliest hematomas the hospital has seen. I think she's kind of proud of it. After looking at the photo of it, I'm mostly just grossed out by it.

They kept telling her conflicting things about what the damage might be but it mostly seemed good. She felt fine aside from bruising and having just gone through a major trauma and all. She was talking and moving around. She was actually conscious the whole time of the attack. And her heart was functioning fine once they cleared the artery. They even released her from the hospital on the 21st. And she managed to walk the 43 (or is it 42?) steps up to the house on her own.

And then she had her follow-up appointment on the 27th which eased our minds a great deal. She still has one artery that's 50-60% blocked, but they can take care of that in early October or so. But it looks like there was little to no serious damage. Which is amazing and wonderful. She's got to get the nuclear imaging stress test thing (I'm not so good with the medical terms) done, hopefully at the end of this month. And then they'll really know what's going on. But it seems like good news for the most part. Really, after the initial bad news that she was having a heart attack, just about everything else has been good news. And she keeps promising me that she feels fine.

She's cut back on smoking a great deal and the plan is to eventually be free of the cigs. I think. Dad's been getting into the job of chef/nutritionist looking for all sorts of low-salt, low-cholesterol foods for the two of them. And I think he's losing weight. And she is too. So I've sorta decided if they can do it, I should too. Actually, aside from my age I think I'm the most at risk for a heart attack amongst the three of us. And maybe even if you take my age into account.

But Mom's building up her strength and is pretty much back to business as usual. Though things will really be back to normal once the insurance mess is worked out and we find out who her cardiologist will be, once she gets the stress test and once this other artery is cleared. Then we can really breath a sigh of relief and get her going on with the rest of her life.

But, I'm still a little worried. You know? I wanted to fly out there right away. But Dad said to wait until she got out of the hospital, since surgery wasn't required and all. And then he said he'd rather I came when he was heading back to work, so Mom could have company for an extra week or so and ease into having her chef away more often. So, I'm heading to Hawai'i on Saturday. And I'm so excited. I just can't wait to hug her and to see for myself that she's really okay. That she's really going to be around for another 40-50 years or more. And to check out the hematoma. So, future blogging will probably be from the islands. With my Mommy. I'll make her say hi.

Having Fun and Napping

Okay, for those of you who keep coming here on a search for the meaning of the various colors of 'sex bracelets', I am not your source. But a word of advice, if you need or even want bracelets to tell you when, how, and with whom to have sex you really shouldn't be having sex. I wore rubber bracelets as a little girl because they were pretty and cool and stretchy. And because I wanted to be Madonna (ask my mom to see the pictures, she'll show you). There is no other reason for these bracelets. Seriously. Sex because a bracelet told you to? Come on. Either you're in grade school and probably shouldn't be having sex because you're in grade school, or you're an idiot and probably shouldn't risk reproducing quite yet. And probably wouldn't be any good in bed anyway.

Anyway, I have been neglecting the blog because I've been having fun and napping. Aren't y'all jealous? And I don't actually consider napping fun so those are two different things I'm talking about. I find sleep to be a huge time suck. But my body demands it. And when I've gone too long with too little, I have to nap. Tragic. At least I have cats to nap with which makes it seem a little bit less of a waste.

So, on the 1st I headed off to Muffy and Steph's to check out Hawaii. It was not good. Oh no, it was not. But we had a blast. I had on an Aloha Shirt. Muffy was wearing a big fake flower. Steph made mai tais. We gorged on pasta. We got drunk. Good times. Really, it's the show's fault. Steph thought a drinking game was in order. We drank to the mention of virgin sacrifice. We drank to the mention of Ohana (though I was okay with the use of pau). We drank to the ridiculousness of the big red bathtub in the ridiculously large apartment for a building of that type. We drank to all kinds of nonsense and it was good. And the show, while bad, was not as bad as I thought it might be. The boys are pretty and I like a lot of the location shots (though going from Waikiki to "Kalani" (what, you can't pronounce Kalaniani'ole?) Highway in two seconds was kinda funny. Hee. The one on the 6th I think had a scene from Keneke's where we sometimes stop for plate lunch on the Circle Island Tour so that was amusing to me. So I will keep watching. And will keep waiting for the day when a good show films in Hawai'i. Some day. I do like it better than North Shore. Though North Shore has a couple pretty boys as well. But fewer cool location shots and far fewer locals. I so don't count Jasmine Trias. Because she annoys me.

Oh, and last Wednesday and Thursday I did get to work from home. Which was excellent. I cleared off TiVo and watched lots of sad movies. Because that's apparently my trend right now. I watched Midnight Cowboy which was good, but depressing as hell. I was kind of annoyed though. I figured I'd work some and clean some and putz around and do chores and nap in my hammock and all that but instead I pretty much did work freaking all day both days. So annoying. I guess I was wrong about me not ever being able to be a productive telecomuter.

Friday I went out with Iolanthe and Lovey for dinner and a movie after work. The plan had been to grab Indian food and see Vanity Fair. But I didn't pay attention to the emails clearly enough and wasn't sure where the restaurant I was thinking of was actually located. And the Indian place Iolanthe looked up wasn't where it was supposed to be. So we wandered down 9th Avenue until we hit Turkish Cuisine. And had that. Which was good. With lots of fun chatter. Then, we get to the theater only to learn that Iolanthe had been lied to!!!! Vanity Fair was playing at 7PM but not 7PM and 7:30PM as we had thought. So, we wandered across the street to the AMC (one of my fave NYC movie theaters because I love capitalism and comfy seats) and ended up catching We Don't Live Here Anymore. It was well done and beautifully acted and depressing as hell. Because that was becoming my new theme. Then we chatted in the theater until it was about time for the movie to start again. Heh.

Saturday was a blast. Charlotte, Muffy, Steph and I met up at The Pink Tea Cup for bunch. They had really good grits and decent biscuits and good corn fritters. Sadly I did not order the fritters and only got a bite of one. It's a tiny place and we timed it well so no waiting. Because we rock. Of course we finished early with an hour before our Scavenger Hunt. Heh. Charlotte had done one before though work and liked it and suggested one for us. We were doing the Greenwich Village TV & Movie Hunt. We got a list of 22 questions as well as a Polaroid camera and 9 photo tasks. We then get two hours to answer as many of the questions and take as many of the photos as we could. It was insanely dorky and a ton of fun. The questions send you to movie & tv locations and you try and find the answers to questions. The questions do at least direct you to a specific block which is nice. And most of the questions weren't too hard, but weren't all ridiculously easy either. Ed's Shirt managed to join us but wasn't much help. We were going like crazy for the first hour but by the last half hour the heat was really kicking our butts and we kinda skirted over question 21 and did a best guess. We did finish all 22 questions and took 9 photos. But sadly, we got four questions wrong (I still think the one question should've been counted as correct) and got the wrong location for the photo in front of the Friends building. So we tied with two other teams for second place. Which I am still sad about. But I did win $20. When we turned in our stuff they gave us surveys to fill out. We hobbled over to the Stoned Crow to drink beer while filling out surveys and waiting for all the teams to return. Steph and I spilled beer on my survey so I think that's why I won in the drawing there. The beer called to the woman and she just HAD to pick mine. So when we didn't win the whole shebang I treated everyone to ice cream with my winnings. Good times.

Then we went to Pottery Barn so Charlotte could do her mystery shopper thing and Muffy and I could sit on comfy cube seats and gab. Pumpkin and I are thinking of getting a beach house for a week next summer and inviting everyone in the world to come. Should be awesome. So Muff and I were tossing that idea around. Pumpkin, Muffy recommends the cape. Just so you know. Steph wandered off to look at boy clothes I think.

Then Charlotte went home to nap while I went with Steph and Muffy to shop and have a cookout in their courtyard with some neighbors. It was a lot of fun with a cute kid, veggie burgers and Sun Chips and grapes, an awesome dog and lots of conversation. But I thought I was going to die of exhaustion by the time I left.

Sunday I napped a lot. And watched A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I've always loved the book and thought I'd check out the movie. The book is better, of course. But parts of it are depressing and make me cry so that was yet another downer of a movie for me. Good times. Then off for Thai food and Hero. Another good movie that was depressing. Because why should I be happy when there are all these depressing movies to watch? Why?

And then nothing much until the great flood of 2004. Almost greater than the flood of Noah's time. Bah. New York can apparently handle terrorist attack, blackouts and the Republicans but cannot handle rain. And this has happened before. We get one hard fast rain and suddenly no one can drive and the train tunnels are all flooded. Took me TWO HOURS to get to work yesterday. It normally takes 40-45 minutes. But no. Two hours. Such poop. I was pretty lucky too. The second train I took to get into Manhattan wasn't too crowded at the very end and I caught a seat and could sit happily reading Flynn while the train did all of it's sitting and waiting. Saved my sanity I think. Luckily everything was back to normal for me on my way home. And this morning. Let's hope it stays this way. I remember one year I fought rain train hell to get to work and find that over half the office just stayed home and weren't even losing vacation time for it. I should've just worked from home yesterday. Dangit.

I'm looking forward to my vacation I think.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

What the hell is a Muckdog?

I can't find a good listing for Fall 2004 Television Premiere Dates. What's up with that? Even the network websites aren't making it easy for me to pull the dates from their sites. It's making me angry. Even Zap2It, which had a great Fall Premiere Calendar last year, is letting me down. I don't understand. How am I to know what to watch and when? I have needs that are not being met here. It's probably somewhere very obvious, isn't it? I'm very dumb aren't I? I don't know. Hawaii is premiering tomorrow though. I think. I might watch with Muffy and Steph. I hear it's horrible. As all Hawai'i shows since Magnum P.I. have been horrible. But I will watch and miss Hawai'i like I have with every Hawai'i show since Fall of 1992. Does anyone remember Raven? I watched that. So bad. Byrds of Paradise? One West Waikiki? Wind on Water? I pretend Baywatch Hawaii doesn't exist so do not speak of it to me. Ah, poor, poor Hawai'i. Maybe North Shore will improve. Though if any of these shows would use Hawai'ians or base the setting and characters in anything like reality it might work better for them. Hawai'i is an amazing, interesting place with exceptional people. No reason not to work with the islands as opposed to just filming on them. I don't know. I've gotten way off topic.

Our head guy just said something about how it's 'impossible to get around the city this week' and it took every ounce of willpower not to shout, "THAT'S WHY I SHOULD BE WORKING FROM HOME, YOU FUCKNUT!!!!!" Let's all be very proud of me. Though, I have been wanting to get laid off or fired sorta and that might do it... Maybe I should call him back here.

The planters are still out in full force and the coffee cart is still across the street. All is not right in the world.

Ed's Shirt made another appearance last night. Poor thing has been woefully neglected by me lately and PimpDaddy made me feel guilty about it last week so I brought it out for the Cyclones game last night. Nachos and Brooklyn Lager seem to make for a happy Ed's Shirt. And hopefully some new photos from LA, Boston and last night will be appearing on the site soon. Ooooh, since I'm not really doing much in the office today maybe I can spend some time encouraging Ed's Shirt to write a blog entry or two. Hmmmmmm...

Last night was excellent though. The Cyclones game was a blast and the Cyclones won, again. And Muffy, Steph and Gane are excellent company. And nachos are always fun. As is popcorn. And beer. And beer soaked popcorn. And minor league players are way cuter than major league players. Generally speaking. So ogling is good. And Steph got us great seats. So we could ogle the Muckdogs without a problem as well as get a good look at the game. Muffy was so excited that we were positioned in such a way that it was easier to tell a ball from a strike. Hee. She's so cute. And we sat next to some guys having a great time heckling the Muckdogs as well as poor Howie, a management type at the stadium. Very obnoxious guys but Muffy thought they were hysterical. They were kinda funny. No PeeWee out last night too, only Sandy. Gane got an awesome self portrait with Sandy. And I got a Cyclones hat and am ready for more games, probably next season. Though I'm wondering how fun it would be doing it a lot more often. It seems they do the same games and tricks and things each night. But still it was a blast so maybe I would be up for it. I think I want to follow the Cyclones a little more now.

Does anyone know what a Muckdog is?

Monday, August 30, 2004

"Tired" and "Happy"

My mother sends out a nightly email. She used to call it an email to the oldies as it initially went out to her mother and stepfather, father and stepmother, aunt (my great-aunt) and some others in the family. But sadly three of those people are no longer with us and my grandmother (step-grandmother technically I guess) and great-aunt are the only "oldies" still on the list. Dad and I get it as well as my aunt and maybe a couple others. Muffy's been asking to be put on it, but I think Mom doesn't understand that others might want to read it. I keep trying to get her to turn it into a blog or something but she's not interested. So mean. Y'all would all totally read my Mom's blog, right? I know you would.

Anyway, she puts all her daily activities in there as well as those of Dad and I, and by extension our friends and coworkers and such. I've grown very used to being part of a newsletter. But sometimes it makes me giggle to get it. Relative to that (as you will soon see), I occasionally drunk dial my mom. I do so because it's fun. Charlotte started the trend way back when we were first apartment hunting in New York. She and I crashed at a friend of the Charlotte family's in Westport when the adults were out of town. Charlotte got a little drunk, and, um, such, and went wild with the phone. She ran out of her friends and family and moved on to mine, calling Mom and saying, "Hi, Ms. ______, Amanda wants to talk to you." and then handed me the phone. It was pretty hysterical at the time and Mom was amused. Then Pumpkin and I did it from Vegas a few years ago. It was like midnight on a Sunday night in Vegas and we figured calling folks on the East Coast would get us killed. But Mom was in Hawai'i and it was only 9 there. Awesome.

So I still continue the trend from time to time. When this happens it often ends up in the nightly email. But she doesn't EVER say her darling baby girl drunk dialed her. She says that Mandy and her friends took time out from their "fun" and called. Sometimes she says that Mandy and co sound really "happy" and like they're having a good time. But she never says that we sounded smashed and insane. Which is what we often are at that point.

In this past Friday night email she mentioned that I went out on Thursday with friends and had a good time and was "tired" the next day. Not ragingly hung over but "tired". I think that's so cute.

Can you tell I'm on a bit of a work strike stemming from my bitterness about not working from home tomorrow? More blog for you!

RNC

Grrrrr... My boss just told me he doesn't think it's going to be a big deal and he'll be in more so I have to work from the office tomorrow. I do NOT want to deal with this convention nonsense during the day and am annoyed. Very annoyed. I'm working from home Wednesday & Thursday. No way they're keeping me from doing that. They'll all be out most of Wednesday anyway for the damn outing and Thursday the President is in town and I do NOT want to be in Manhattan for that.

So far I haven't seen huge changes. Just a hell of a lot more cops than usual, and lots of homeland security guys with huge guns wandering around Grand Central and the like. Oh, and the GIANT planters my company is putting up all around the perimeter of our building. Cutting off the space on the corners and creating a little mini wall all around the building. And pushing our coffee cart guys across the street - which REALLY pisses me off. Oh, and we have a stock pile of gas masks and light sticks by the stairs on every floor of the building now. And they have an area of our cafeteria blocked off as a hospitality area for local police. Which is nice, but so odd. I have absolutely no idea what to expect. There's supposed to be a rally in Times Square this afternoon, but who knows. Maybe everyone is resting from yesterday and gearing up for Wednesday and Thursday. I'll be very glad when this is all over and I have my long Labor Day weekend in which to relax.

At least today and Tuesday are supposed to be the hottest days this week so maybe it'll be better to be here with the air conditioning. Yeah, right.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Drunk

I love drunk New York. It just makes me smile. Walking home or to the train at a certain point of the night watching all the drunken folks doing their thing. Like the pizza place with the huge line of people looking for a slice or two as hangover prevention (something I should've done as I hurt today and the pizza really did smell so good last night). Or the drunk couple stumbling around and playing a clumsy game of grab-ass on the curb. The cops calmly talking down yet another drunk asshole. People walking to another bar rather than walking home. The occasional family or lone non-drinker dodging the stumbling idiots on their way to wherever. And seeing the differences between the really tired looking single person heading home after the goodbyes versus the groups of people still laughing and being social with the late hour not hitting them yet. And the cabs trolling for people too tired or drunk or rich or all of the above to bother with the train.

And saying goodbye. Long goodbyes with giggling and cigarettes. Or in my group's case, promising to get each other's email addresses through PimpDaddy so we can plan PimpDaddy's October birthday party, complete with strippers. To make up for the less than stellar birthday dinner last year. It sounded like an awesome idea last night.

And the folks waiting for the train. Hee. This one couple kept circling one of the pillars on the platform playing peekaboo. It was adorable. They were cracking up and taking breaks to make out for a minute or two and then the guy would run back behind the pillar and peer out at her. And then the punk rock girl coming down the stairs in her all black outfit holding a pink sparkly hula hoop. I have no idea why. The group of girls in sparkly halter tops looking all sad that they're going home with their girlfriends instead of some hottie in the bar. I just like watching it all. Amusing.

But now it's not so amusing because I feel like poo. I was going to pack and do all kinds of things last night. PimpDaddy, Charlotte and I were just going to do a quick dinner and drinks thing and I was going to be home early. Hah. Dinner didn't really happen, just a little snacking. And way too many drinks. Three apple martinis and two and a half vodka tonics on a not very full stomach. Bad, bad PimpDaddy and Charlotte for letting that happen. But I think I kinda needed it. It was the most relaxed I've been in a couple of weeks. And it was fun conversation. And I met some of Charlotte's old coworkers and one of PimpDaddy's current coworkers and there was lots of chatting and laughing and talk of strippers. A good night. Now if only I could be home in bed right now.

My train's not until 7:37. Maybe when everyone leaves I can sack out on my boss's couch for an hour. Hmmm...

Okay, now, for another mention of Sheena - to continue to make up for not mentioning her enough before apparently. She adopted a child from India through one of those adopt a child in a foreign nation programs that Sally Struthers is so fond of. Actually I think she used the exact one Sally used to pitch for. And she has a cute diabetic dog named Jack who is a papillon chihuahua mix. He's very cute. They both are. Jack & the kid. Sheena is okay too I guess. Anyway, she has photos of them up all over her desk and we call them her little family. I think for Christmas she needs to piece together some kind of portrait studio type portrait with her, the kid, the dog and the boyfriend. Cute, right?

Ow. My head. My tummy. WHINE!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

HELP

I was scrolling through Amazon.com's recommendations for me and came across something that I initially read as "Mathematic Princess Dress Up" and my first thought was BEST GAME EVER! Princesses. Math. Dressing up. Game. How is that not the coolest game/toy ever? Alas, it does not seem to exist. It was "Magnetic Princess Dress Up". Not even remotely cool. Really. But I'm starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me.

Oh, wait. Mary Kate & Ashley New York Minute Doll Twin Pack! Okay, that's almost as cool as mathematic princess dress up. Oh. Oh. Oh!!!! EVEN BETTER!!!! Dear Lord, help me! I'm a total freak.

The big man in our group just popped by my desk to say he'd heard about my family and to say some nice words. Which was rather decent of him. Lovey and Sheena (more on her in a moment) excluded, my group is not the nicest, friendliest, most tactful group in the world. Economists seem to be a bit on the socially stunted side. So, every little bit helps.

Of course the big props goes to friends and family who are amazing and sweet and all that. I really do have the nicest friends and family members I think. Well, aside from the crazy ones. And even some of the crazy ones are really nice, just crazy.

So, Sheena feels she has not been properly mentioned in the blog. Which of course makes me regret bitching about "barksdale AFB hookers" at the office yesterday, leading her to learn of the blog. But what can you do. Sheena is off at the gym now, getting all buff and beautiful and badass for her trip to Miami next month. She's also discovered a new love for the Olympic Men's Beach Volleyball team. She hasn't specified which country, but I'm betting USA. I don't know though. I don't watch the Olympics. Never have. It either depresses me to watch people screw up or bores me. I did an awesome paper on the politics of it in European History in High School though. Wonder if I still have that somewhere. Anyway, that's my little bit about Sheena for the day. More on her in the next blog entry.

Tonight I'm seeing Charlotte for the second time in the same week. Which is good for us. I hadn't seen her since my birthday, unfortunately. We had dinner at this great place down in the Village, 'ino, on Thursday and it was so much fun. I kinda want to go back there. But tonight we're going to Art Bar to hang with Pimp Daddy, catch up and discuss the joys of being on the ALS Board of Trustees. You know you're jealous.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Working My Way Out from Under

All sorts of bad things in varying degrees of badness are going on with me and the people around me and as such, I've been unable to really blog. It seems kinda silly to blather on about silly things like the searches people use to find me, Cyclones games, the weird thing that guy did on the Subway, why work is mean and so on and so forth when big things are going on. But more likely it's silly to think that it's silly. Going to the Cyclones game on Sunday was awesome and did good things for me. The weird guy on the subway totally made me laugh. Work is stupid, but they're cool enough to let me go to Hawai'i for a week whenever I want, which is September 11th (Sorry, Pumpkin - it just looks like the best day for me to fly. I'm sure I will be fine.).

Anyway, right now I want to babble about such things and maybe later will write about the other stuff going on. I don't know. We'll see.

But first, I'm listening to Rock Star Fran's new CD. Woo Hoo. Check it out. Buy one for yourself! She hasn't written a song about me yet, but I'm still enjoying it. Hmmmm... it's supposed to be for sale today, but I don't see it yet. It'll be up there though. Pantsuit - "The path from the house to the lawn". You can always get Schwervon CDs or "Leg Out" while you're waiting.

So, I was home most of the weekend and was forced out into the sunlight Sunday afternoon due to some Cyclones tickets I purchased at a silent auction back in March. I was feeling a bit agoraphobic on the train and on my way to the stadium but seeing Vader and Taylor was nice. And the weather was amazing. Sunny and clear and not too hot. And the seats were good. And the game was so much fun. I haven't been to a minor league game since high school, when the Shreveport Captains were still in existence. Before they became the Shreveport Swamp Dragons (LAME) and then disappeared. (Searching for links is making me all nostalgic for Shreveport - strange.) Oh. Apparently the Swamp Dragons ran off to Frisco, Texas and now we have the Shreveport Sports. I'm going to have to research this a little more, later. Because right now I'm getting totally off track.

Back to the Cyclones. So, I had forgotten how much fun minor league games are. The baseball isn't quite the same as what I see in Yankee Stadium but it wasn't bad. Some of it was good, I don't care what Taylor says. And it was such a relaxed atmosphere. Fascinating people watching in the stands. One very unhappy and horrible woman sat right in front of us. One of the little girls associated with her gave us quite the "what morons!" look when we were debating whether the main mascot was a seagull or a chicken. It's Sandy the Seagull, guys, I was so right. And speaking of mascots, there were four. Sandy and Pee Wee (baby Seagull?) plus a dragon or something green I think and Clifford the Big Red Dog. And lots of perky people running all the 'fun and games'. So awesome. Mocking the perkiest girl of all with the red ribbon in her hair dancing all over the place. Watching her do the cabbage patch was Excellent.

And every inning there's a new way to humiliate the fans. Vader liked it best when they showed the Neil Diamond Karaoke video (complete with Neil addressing Brooklyn and singing in front of fake fields and rainbows) for Sweet Caroline and the whole stadium stood up and sang. I kind of enjoyed the races; one where a tiny little girl ran around to the bases collecting $5 on each one and one where two teenaged boys twirled around with their heads on bats to get dizzy and raced each other, with one totally wiping out. Good times, that.

It was just such a fun relaxing kinda time. Though it would've been better with beer. I left my purse with Taylor when Vader and I went for snacks and such and I got CARDED. I'm 30. I have gray hair. Carded. Pissed me off. And I was too lazy to go and get my ID and go back and stand in line again. Alas. Probably better for me. But I'm looking forward to going again on Monday (when I will have my ID on me at all times) and think I might be up for season tickets next year. Charlotte, Muffy & Steph might all be up for it. Maybe Vader & Taylor. Who knows.

Recent searches that have lead to my blog; "fishboy blogspot", "UNDRESSED BY AUNTIE", "barksdale AFB hookers" (my new favorite) and "'happy bunny' butts kicked". I'm on google now. Google has weirder searchers than yahoo I think.

And I think that's enough for now. Pimped Fran's CD, babbled about the Cyclones and told everyone that the way to AFB hookers is through me. What more does a blog need to do?

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Weekend Dilemma

So, I'm supposed to spend the weekend of the 28th in Connecticut with Pumpkin and her friend and possibly Fishboy. And I'm excited about it because I love hanging with Pumpkin and haven't done so since the Fourth of July. Plus her friend is awesome. As is Fishboy. And a weekend of walks and eating and the beach and just relaxing sounds heavenly. But it's also the weekend the RNC starts and there are some protests that I really would like to do. Like the March for Women's Lives across the Brooklyn Bridge and into City Hall Park that Saturday. And the United for Peace and Justice March on Sunday. It seems a shame to leave the city when such big things that matter so much to me are happening. But then, I love Pumpkin and I love the beach and I'm not sure when I'll get to hang with her again the way our schedules are. But then Rock Star Fran and Lovey both said they'd march with me over the weekend if I go and that would be three more people to add to that political statement. So, tough call. Not sure what I'm going to do. Or how unhappy with me Pumpkin would be. Pumpkin? Don't suppose you and Yorkie wanna come to NYC and March with the chicas that weekend instead? I have a hammock and it's awesome.

I'm also trying to figure out the week of the convention. There are lots of things I want to participate in, but I also really like the idea of being able to work from home for part of that week. The Poor People's March is happening on Monday, and while I support it I also don't want to be trying to get home from work while the rally is going on in Times Square. But then there are some activities and protests I want to go to which will put me in Manhattan. Of course, lots of those activities are in the late afternoon and evening and I could just start work early and log off early to head into Manhattan to hit those, like the NOW rally on Monday in Central Park. I think I might lean toward that. Just because I think my Mom would feel better if I weren't in a big financial services building in the middle of a landmark area the week of the convention. And I want to work in my jammies. As long as the real activities I want to attend are in the evening.

Ah, the life of a liberal capitalist feminist girly beach bunny. So many decisions.


Muffy & Steph, if you're reading this, I'm thinking about you and sending you all my love. Take care.